FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 27, 2024 - DYING - PART II

 FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 27, 2024 - THE PROCESS OF DYING

Yesterday, I did an overview of dying. Let’s finish it off today.

I’m using:
The process of dying | healthdirect

WHAT HAPPENS IN THE 24 HOURS BEFORE DEATH?

Someone close to death will spend most of the time asleep. They may be unable to communicate when awake because their senses are failing. However, they may still be able to hear, so they usually speak to them.

Some people have a burst of energy in the 24 hours before they die. They may sit up and talk generally for a short period.

Physical signs that death is near include:

• mottled and blotchy skin, especially on the hands, feet and knees

• blood pressure decreases

• they can't swallow

• less urine and loss of bladder control

• restlessness

• difficult breathing

• congested lungs

WHAT HAPPENS IN THE HOURS BEFORE DEATH?

In the hours before death, most people fade as the blood supply to their body declines further. They sleep a lot, their breathing becomes very irregular, and their skin becomes cool.

Those who do not lose consciousness in the days before death usually do so in the hours before they die.

Most people are calm now, although some may be restless or agitated.

Some symptoms a person may experience during this time include:

• glassy, teary eyes that may be half-open

• cold hands

• weak pulse

• hallucinations

• being fast asleep

• gasping, or periods where breathing completely stops

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN SOMEONE DIES?

When someone dies, their heart stops, and they stop breathing. Within a few minutes, their brain stops functioning, and their skin starts to cool. At this point, they have died.

The signs that someone has died are:

• there is no breathing or heartbeat

• they cannot be woken up

• their skin is pale and waxy

• their eyelids might be half-open

• their pupils are fixed

• their mouth may fall open

The moment of death is usually peaceful.

*****

Note to myself: I see TL five times a week and help feed her. So far, she isn’t showing any significant signs of dying, and I will be watching as that time comes.

They tell caregivers not to get too involved emotionally with the dying. I’ve been with TL for three years, and I’m close. It may be hard on me - or it might be easy on me.

We tend to say soothing things like “She’s in a better place now”. As a Christian, I’m not sure where that person is - and without going deeper into theology, we’ll agree with that statement. She is (or will be) out of pain, out of the struggle. I’m not sure of the resurrection of the body - of judgment day, of separating the “Sheep and the Goats.”  That’s not for me. I don’t play God anymore.

The article says, “Death is usually peaceful”. I’ll take that as a positive.

*****

Yes, I am going to die. Yes, all of you reading this are going to die.

And, without going into theology, maybe the Hail Mary prayer of Catholics, “Pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death,” might have some special merit.

 

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 26, 2024 WHAT HAPPENS AS WE APPROACH DEATH - PART I

 THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 26, 2024 - THE PROCESS OF DYING

As you might know, I’ve been helping out in a nursing home.  I am feeding a 97-year-old woman who doesn’t feed herself anymore.  I’ve known her for three years (since September 2021).  During that time, she has lost the ability to feed herself.  She also lost pretty much all of her ability to speak.  Seemingly, she had a minor stroke before I met her, and that affected her speech.  She did talk a little (only to direct questions, not in conversation) during that first year, but that has ended.  I think her brain is sharp.  When she did talk - maybe six months ago, I did nursery rhymes - and left off the last word.  I would say, “Jack and Jill went up the, “and she would answer ‘hill,” Continued, “To fetch a pail of, “and she would answer, “Water.”  Her speaking ability is still there, but speaking has gone away without being used regularly.

The Physical Process of Dying

(I will be quoting from this article)

WHAT IS THE PROCESS OF DYING?

Dying can be a gradual process when someone has a terminal illness. If someone is receiving good palliative care, it can be quite a peaceful time — a time during which the body lets go of life.

Palliative care aims to keep those with a terminal illness comfortable and includes treatments to relieve pain.

In mosdying peopleng, the body's normal systems start to operate more slowly. What happens varies between people, but this article describes how people's bodies generally change as they die.

The heart beats a little more slowly or with a little less force, so blood moves around the body more slowly. This means the brain and the other organs receive less oxygen than they need and do not function as well.

WHAT HAPPENS IN THE WEEKS BEFORE DEATH?

Most people who are dying feel tired. They may want to sleep more often or formore extendedr periods. They may want to talk less, although some may want to talk more.

They may want to eat less or different foods since their stomach and digestive system are slowing down.

Someone who is dying may also lose weight, and their skin might become thinner. The body now finds it hard to regenerate skin cells as it used to.

WHAT HAPPENS IN THE DAYS BEFORE DEATH?

In the days before their death, a person's control over their breathing starts to fail. They may breathe more slowly for a while, then more quickly, and so their breathing becomes quite unpredictable.

Fluid can start to gather in their lungs, and their breathing can begin to sound quite ‘ratt.''. They might cough, but not very profoundly.

People's skin color often changes in the days before death as blood circulation declines. They can become paler or greyer, or their skin can become mottled or blotchy.

They may also have less control over their body temperature. Their hands, feet, fingers, and toes may become cool to touch, while at other times, they may be hot and sweaty.

The loss of oxygen to their brain might cause them to become vague and sleepy. Some people talk to people who aren't there, and they may be confused or disoriented.

Some become unconscious a few days before they die.

*****

Karen adds:  This was a long article, but I think it is of value.  I sat with my friend RP on the day she died.  She was sleeping, and I watched her chest rise and fall.  The cancer had spread its way through her whole body.  

A nurse came in and gave her morphine to mask the pain.  Later that evening, her breathing stopped, and she died.

***

My friend TL is in a double room in the nursing home.  Last week, her roommate died.  I wasn’t watching as the roommate died (I will be more observant in the future).  

For the past three years, I’ve been near dying people.  I was working in the dementia ward when MR was assigned there.  Two days later, she was dead.  Was the move catastrophic? Would she have died if she hadn’t been moved?  

MH was on hospice in the Independent Living area - and I gave her pills several evenings.  A few times before she died, she asked me to put the pills on her bedside table with a glass of water.  (That wasn’t allowed, so I stayed to watch her take the pills and almost immediately go back to sleep)

More on this tomorrow.  

LOVE WINS

LOVE TRANSFORMS

Karen Anne White

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 25, 2024 - ATTITUDE

 WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 25, 2024 - WORK AND ATTITUDE

On Monday, I had a doctor’s appointment. When I checked in, the receptionist grumbled, “It’s Monday.”

STOP RIGHT THERE!!

While “work” is a four-letter word (like most of our profanity words), it isn’t profane!! We need to have a work-life balance.  

Work is an attitude - and sometimes our words and thoughts don’t agree on work.

I loved my job and my life. On Mondays, I could shout, “OH BOY, I’m GOING TO WORK!”!! My brain almost always thought of students, lessons, and approaches (and even exam questions).

*****

“Traditional thinking” (I’m not sure it is traditional thinking) grumbles, “It’s Monday again”.  Maybe we’re like the Carpenter’s hit song, “Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down”.

We use the acronym TGIF - “Thank God its Friday”.  The weekend is where it is at; not the work week.  

As a retired person, I miss walking the hall to my office on a Monday morning and saying “Good Morning” in a warm, booming voice. I think the “WOOO,” I yelled as I walked into the classroom on Mondays was more authentic.  

I was privileged to have a good (that’s not enough) - A GREAT JOB.   I was so blessed to be a teacher and mentor.  

Our society seems to push free time as good and work as bad.  We change the Seven Dwarfs song “Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it’s off to Work I Go” - into “I owe, I owe, it's off to Work I Go.”  We shouldn’t work just for the money - yes, working for free isn’t very fulfilling - but “the love of money is the root of all evil”  (1 Timothy 6:10).  But money is a vehicle.  It is water to a thirsty person.  But if we thirst only for water - we’re missing out.

It comes back to ATTITUDE.

Philippians 4:8: Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

GIGO - Garbage in, Garbage out.

Be transformed by the renewing of your mind!!!  Mondays aren’t bad (or evil).

The Mamas and Papas sang:

Monday, Monday, can't trust that day;

Monday, Monday, sometimes

it just turns out that way.

Oh, Monday morning, you gave me

no warning of what was to be.

*****

Mondays are just one of the fantastic days that God gives us - 

“This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it” is a verse from Psalm 118:24 

WOOOO!!  I’m rejoicing on Mondays (and Tuesdays, and Wednesdays, and Thursdays, and Fridays, and Saturdays, and Sundays!!!)

LOVE WINS

LOVE (AND ATTITUDE) TRANSFORMS ME

Karen Anne White, September 25, 2024

SUNDAY FUNDAY - SEPTEMBER 22, 2024

 SUNDAY FUNDAY

SEPTEMBER 22, 2024

FALL

Technically, Fall started this morning Sunday September 22nd  (at 7:44 Central Daylight Time).  This is the Fall Equinox.  Our daylight hours will continue to shrink until December 21st (the Winter Solstice).   (My friend Bonnie sent me a link to Harvest Moon by Neil Young https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2MtEsrcTTs)

Along the way, that hour we “gained” last spring will go away, and we will be back on Central Standard Time. (Sunday, November 3rd).  We will all be time travelers on November 3rd at 2:00 a.m. - we will live everyday lives until 2:59:59 - and then we will relive that hour from 2:00 to 2:59.  As for me, I intend to catch up on that hour of sleep I lost when we “sprang ahead” back in March (March 10, 2024)

******

PUMPKIN SPICE MIX

Cinnamon

Ginger

Nutmeg

Cloves

Allspice

(And, just a touch of fresh ground) Black pepper - and yes, pumpkin spice does NOT contain any pumpkin!!!)

SHORT STORY #1

The sun set with a brilliant copper display, which cast its golden glow on the land. A calm, crisp breeze blew through the town. Once deep forest green, leaves changed to a burnt orange and gamboge hue, slowly drifting through the air, blanketing the ground. The fallen leaves crunched under my feet as I walked through the town and admired the gorgeous tapestry. I paused for a moment to take it all in. A nearby raven produced its distinctive cry. A hint of cinnamon and apples wafted through the air. It signaled to my mind that fall had arrived.

*****

Our fall days in Texas are unlike those in Vermont or New Hampshire.  Many of our Live Oaks don’t lose their leaves until spring; some trees change color and drop their leaves.

*****

SHORT STORY #2

I knew it was coming.  I’ve tried so hard.  I’ve been kind, pleasant, and loving, but you are leaving me anyway.  I fed you - both when you were so young and through your whole life - but you are leaving me anyway.  That bond that held us together is wearing thin.  

We had good times - and unfortunately, some not-so-good times.

**

That ugly action is taking you away - away where you don’t necessarily want to go.  You might even end up in the landfill (I used to call it ‘the dump’).  That’s not a fitting place for somebody as sweet and colorful as you.  Dang, that darn wind!!

Goodbye, my leaves. May you go into a compostable pile that can be used to enrich the soil next year.  And, I will be barren - and naked - until spring.  And then my new children will make me happy.  

*****

As we go through fall into winter, we have a lot ahead of us.  Three big “feasts” - Halloween (if that is a ‘feast”), Thanksgiving, and Christmas.  (And even Oktoberfest)

Frank Sinatra sang this:

Oh, it's a long, long while from May to December
But the days grow short; when you reach September
When the Autumn weather turns the leaves to flame
One hasn't got time for the waiting game

Oh, the days dwindle down to a precious few - September, November

And these few precious days - I'll spend with you

These precious days - I'll spend with you

*****

Fall is almost here.  Maybe we can call it “Autumn.”  Let us enjoy this beautiful season.

FALL JOKES AND PUNS

• Go big or gourd home.

• Life's a beach, then you pie.

• Be-leaf in yourself!

• Gonna have a gourd time tonight.

• All for one and one for fall!

• I feel gourd! I know that I would now.

• Orange you glad fall is here?

• Oh my gourd-ness, it's autumn!

• Only gourd vibes.

• Fall in a day's work.

• Fall bets are off.

• I'm in complete disbe-leaf!

• The pie's the limit.

• Sweater safe than sorry.

• Pumpkin spice and everything nice

• Pumpkin spice up your life!

• You truly a-maize me!

• This maze is going to be a piece of spice cake.

• My favorite fall outfit is a har-vest.

*****

I remember my grandfather raking leaves to the street and then burning them.  I’d like to jump into the pile of leaves.  He would gently scold me (but I knew he jumped into piles of leaves as a kid).  

Of course, you could rake the leaves into piles and fill the garden trash bags.  You’d be sure to shake the bag so the leaves settled a little so you could get more in.  When they were about 3 or 4, I would put a grandchild into a bag to smash the leaves down a little).  Those leaves can make great compost if put into a protected spot (with no other garbage). 

*****

HAPPY FALL!!

Karen White

SEPTEMBER 20, 2024 ABORTION

 SEPTEMBER 20, 2024 - ABORTION (???)

If there is one issue dividing America this election year, it is abortion.

Scenario 1  (year 1989)

Paula and Neil were in high school.  Paula is 17, and Neil is 18. Paula was an honor student, one of the top students in the senior class, and already had scholarship opportunities at three colleges.  Neil is a good student but also a star basketball player and was actively being recruited by several colleges.  

They have been dating for a year and a half.  They have kissed, petted, and done almost everything - except intercourse.  Their future as a couple and as students is uncertain, the parents their parents like them.  

They've been to a movie in September of their senior year and are returning to Paula’s house.  Her parents are gone for the weekend to the funeral of her great-uncle George in Wisconsin.  As they sit on the sofa making out, without any forethought, Paula is down to her bra and panties, and Neil is down to his underwear.  They just can’t stop there.  They both are so excited sexually, and, well, one thing leads to another, and they are having intercourse.  

[Aside - this story might be once or multiple times].  The result is that after a month, Paula realizes she is pregnant.  What to do - they have their future ahead of them.  They don’t know what to do.

Paula has heard of a free clinic and gets an appointment for after school on Wednesday.  She (and Neil) went to the appointment, and yes, she was pregnant.  

She CAN’T be pregnant—she can’t have a baby at 17!! It would ruin everything—her scholarships and her dreams of becoming an engineer or architect.  

It isn’t so dire for Neil.  He can still play basketball and have his life.  They agonize over their choices, and they arrange for Paula to get an abortion in eight days when she turns 18. They have the funds. 

*****

It is tough on Paula.  Her family is strongly pro-life.  Her church is pro-life.  How can she get an abortion? But having a baby would affect everything.  

Paula gets the abortion - but almost every day of her life, she thinks of the baby she didn’t have.

(And, in college, they both fall in love with others, and they split up)

*****

Scenario 2: (2024)

After leaving her second job at Taco Bell, Suzanne was walking home to her cheap apartment when she was stopped on the streets. She’s a black woman working to support her two children by working two jobs. She’s almost done with her associate degree in nursing and can soon quit her Taco Bell job to become an LVN and make more than her two jobs combined. It is three black men. She thinks she might have seen one or two at Taco Bell before.  

Before she knows it, she is pushed onto the back seat of a car, and one of the men is pumping her full of his sperm.  She tried to fight, to scream, but the knives they carried stopped her.  And, adding insult to injury, the other two also “have her.”  

She is pregnant.  She has terrible morning sickness, misses her morning job at an IHOP restaurant - and gets fired.  She misses classes and doesn’t graduate on time.  She can’t get an abortion - the laws in Texas wouldn’t allow it.  (Laws made by white men wearing suits in the state legislature).  She can’t afford a trip to Colorado where she could get a legal abortion, and soon, with almost no money left, she has three children, one low-paying job at Taco Bell, and no future.  

*****

Scenario 3 (1955)

Tammy’s one goal in life is to “catch” a husband.  She keeps playing up to Tommy in her college class.  She gets Tommy a little drunk (two beers?) and gets Tommy to have intercourse with her - hoping she will get pregnant.  When she is, she tells Tommy he has to marry her.  Six years later, she wishes she hadn’t done that.  Tommy is a lousy husband, abusive to her and their child (or children).  She got her “MRS” degree - but it wasn’t what she wanted.

*****

Discussion (2024)

I guess that NO woman knowingly has sex - hoping she can get pregnant and hoping she can have an abortion.   

Heidi is excited - she is pregnant, and oh boy, she can get another abortion!!!  

*****

There is a joke that a woman should carry an aspirin with her - and put it between her knees - AND KEEP IT THERE.  

Maybe all unmarried women should get free birth control pills (or vaccination).  Maybe all unmarried men should get reversible vasectomies. 

Sex education tried to focus on abstinence - and intercourse still happened.  It is a passion that males and females enjoy.  A couple is failing in love, and <zip> before either really stops and counts to one hundred and has an intellectual discussion about it, it has happened.  

Okay - unsubstantiated folly.  Men will brag in the locker room - that they had sex with their girlfriends.  I don’t know if that happens in women’s locker rooms - I doubt it.   Men will brag about their conquests - I <vulgar term> Susie.  And, men get off free - they don’t get pregnant.  

*****

Yes, the discussion is on morality - and we all seem to have slightly different morality.  It is “killing” an unborn child, but going to war and killing an enemy soldier is somehow acceptable.  

There are other arguments - that access to abortion is generally decided by white men in state legislatures making rules and regulations. Let women have the ability to decide for themselves if they want an abortion - it is her life - and her womb.  

Maybe we can take a “Brave New World” approach, collecting and fertilizing eggs in extensive medical facilities. Then, we can deny oxygen to embryos for a period of time to create people with lower intelligence to be janitors and laborers and give extra nutrients to other embryos to make them smarter.

*****

I've heard a clergyman (and it was an unmarried man) say in a religious service that the only issue in this election is abortion - and urged (told/instructed) people to vote only for pro-life candidates. 

*****

Karen adds: I don’t know the best solution - but I know this issue is tearing us apart as a society.  The pro-life groups HATES the abortion group, and the abortion group HATES the pro-life group.  We don’t talk to each other, we have forgotten how to love, how to love, and how to love.  

I wish couples who are not ready for children to take appropriate birth control measures and couples that are ready for children to be open to the gift of children.  

*****

Eventually . . . 

LOVE WINS

LOVE TRANSFORMS

Karen Anne White, September 20, 2024

(At age 77 and a transgender woman, I will not be having any more children.  I love my two children and five grandchildren dearly.  I want children born to be loved, cherished, educated, and appreciated and to have stable environments. But, somehow, legislating morality doesn’t work.)