Wednesday, September 30, 2020

Karen’s Thoughts on True Inner Peace

 Karen’s Thoughts on True Inner Peace


NOTE - I am NOT an expert!!  I am NOT ever sure I’m much beyond the first step.  So, read at your own risk <grin>.


You are what you think.  <period>


If you let your mind dwell on conflict, on fears, on negativity - I think (I believe) that you will have conflict, you will have fear, you will have negativity.


Okay - done, settled!!!


*****

Nope - while I am suggesting that inner peace is totally dependent on your attitude, your thoughts, your values - it still isn’t easy!!!


Let’s try a scenario.  You say “I am stressed out, I don’t have inner peace.  Therefore (according to Karen), I just need to change my thoughts and what I think!  


You find your favorite chair and eliminate the distractions.  “Gee Honey, I’m going to find my inner peace this afternoon - so, could you leave me alone for four hours?”  (Spouse says “okay”).


And, you sit there and start repeating mentally (not necessarily out loud).  “I am at peace, I am at peace, I am at peace.”


Now, if you can get five minutes you are doing great!!  But, in my five minutes of eyes closed, saying “I am at peace, I am at peace”, my brain starts with reminders.  “Remember tomorrow, you have to pay the electric bill.”; “Oh it is the start of October, I need to get some Halloween candy”;” So, how are we going to do Halloween this year with the pandemic?”; “Will we have any Trick or Treaters”?  “I wonder what <your kids, grandkids, neighbors, friends> will dress up as this year?”.  Then your brain says “Oops - sorry”.  “I am at peace, I am at peace, I am at peace.


“Do we have enough coffee for the week?”; “Do we need cereal?”; “Do we have bread?”; “Should I make some bread?”; “Do you remember the soup and bread lunches we had at DSU to raise money for scholarships?”; “I am at peace”; “I am at peace”; “I think I need to put gas in the car.  It was almost on empty when I last drove it”; “I am at peace”; “I thought (the car) sounded funny the other day?  Do I need new tires?”; “I am at peace”.  “I bet I got to five minutes of finding peace” - and you opened your eyes and you made 37 seconds!!!”


It takes time as work to get to five minutes of peace, then ten minutes.  And, of course, by the time you get to fifteen minutes of peace, you are napping!!!  The quiet put you to sleep!!!

 

I just tried this.  Of course, what I just wrote was in my mind.  I thought of supper - what was I going to make (baked potatoes in the microwave), I thought of my tuba case - I need a new washer and nut to hold my handle on; I had other thoughts - and did get relaxed (and then I opened my eyes - four minutes done).  Yes, getting deep inside myself is tough.


Yes, the messages of the three previous days are still true.  I need to get the stress out of my life and mind.  Yes, I need to declutter my life.  


*****

So, can I really get that deep inside myself to find inner peace? 


Yes - I can.


Some philosophies suggest getting to deep inner peace more than Judeo-Christianity.  In particular, Buddhism teaches more inner peace.  But, true inner-peace can be reached by all people.


Yes, there have been a few times when I’ve gotten deeper in the “Spirit” - and into Inner Peace.  I have had a few visions.  [Aside - that tells me I am still young.  Joel 2:28 says, “"And afterward, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions.] 


It isn’t an everyday experience for me, although it might be for others.  I think it might be easier for cloistered nuns who can spend most of their days with God.  I remember a friend at a retreat event that was getting very deep into her inner self.  (She glowed!!!)  


Elijah, Old Testament Prophet had this experience:

“And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake, and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire and after the fire a still small voice.” 


Can we find that “still small voice” in our lives?  Do we want to?  Maybe we are happy where we are at - and don’t really want to go exploring our minds for that true ‘inner peace”.


Philippians 4:7 says “ and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus”.  A peace which is SO DEEP we can’t really understand it.  


I’m going to be working towards that goal of inner peace more and more.  I am going to anticipate more visions, dreams, and direction as I grow older.  I have a mission - to promote LOVE WINS!!!


And, LOVE does win!!

Hugs!!


Karen


Tuesday, September 29, 2020

 INNER PEACE #3

https://www.positivityblog.com/inner-peace/


We started looking at inner peace two days ago.  The ability to find peace when there is conflict all around us is important to keep our sanity.  


From the article, we have looked at 9 of the 15 items.

-1 Set Limits

-2 Relax

-3 Don’t make mountains out of molehills

-4 Slow Down

-5 Unclutter

-6 Have a minimal workspace

-7 Be Early

-8 Accept and Let go

-9 Ask instead of guessing


Let’s finish this;

-10 Escape for a while

Read a novel, release the pressure 


-11 Solve a problem that is weighing you down

The article says “Don’t procrastinate anymore. Solve your problem and release it and all the underlying stress and tension that it is creating in your life.”


“You probably already know what to do, you are just not doing it yet. But the longer you wait the worse the tension inside becomes.”


Maybe the situation is really bad and the solution is tough.  (Confronting an abusive spouse, quitting your dead-end job).  As Nike says, “JUST DO IT”  - get it over with.  


I think of some situations like cancer growing inside you.  The stress makes your stomach churn - solve it.  There have been times when my stomach really was turning - and actually vomiting made it better - get over the problem!!!


-12 Disconnect over the weekend

Get away from your stressors.  You can’t have peace if you work 12 hours EVERY day.  


-13 Remember the 5 little words that’ll help you to stay sane: ONE THING AT A TIME.

Multitasking is overrated!!!   Solve something and move on (if you can).  


I’m currently working on a project for a friend.  I’m waiting for input from them - so I can’t do anything until I hear back.  Yes, I want to work on this, I want to get it behind me, but “one thing at a time” - it will have to wait until the time is right!!!


-14 Breathe

The article says “When stressed, lost in a problem or the past or future in your mind breathe with your belly for two minutes and just focus on the air going in and out.”


“This will calm your body down and bring your mind back into the present moment again.”


And, finally (at least for this article)


-15 Remember: There's a day tomorrow too.


The author writes:


“Sometimes you have a bad day. Or life interferes with your plans for the day.


“And so you don’t get what you had planned or hoped for done.


“The best way to handle such a situation is – in my experience – simply to kindly tell yourself that there’s a day tomorrow too and that you can get it done then.


“Beating yourself up is on the other hand not a smart or helpful strategy.

*****


But, I’m NOT done with this topic.  These 15 items might be called “de-stressing” your life - but I really want to write about deep internal peace - so come back tomorrow!!!)


LOVE WINS!!!

HUGS!!


Karen


Monday, September 28, 2020

INNER PEACE #2

 INNER PEACE #2

https://www.positivityblog.com/inner-peace/

https://quoteinvestigator.com/2017/09/02/clutter/ 


We started looking at inner peace yesterday.  The ability to find peace when there is conflict all around us is important to keep our sanity.  


I’ve read of Nazi concentration camps - with prisoners finding that inner peace.  (I want to think of it as the “Peace that passes understanding” - true peace.)


To me, it is a peace that is inside you no matter what.  I also think of Buddist monk finding that inner peace through meditation and yielding life systems to that deep peace.


Let’s look more at the article:

-5 Unclutter your world, unclutter your mind.


Sometimes we have too much “stuff”.  This last week (preparing for these blogs), I looked through my kitchen cabinets.  I have lived in my apartment for almost two years (the end of October will be two years).  I was trying to identify things that I haven’t used in those two years.  I took two bags and a large box of things to the Salvation Army thrift shop.  The concept is if you haven’t used it in two years, get rid of it.  


Unfortunately, in this new environment (582 square feet), I don’t have enough room for everything.  Simplicity is part of inner peace.  (And, I haven’t reached that yet).  


Coupled with #5 is:

-6 Use a minimalistic workspace.


I have a desk - but it can be a ‘dumping ground.  On my desk currently are my computer (that I used way-too-much every day), my printer, two new unused ink cartridges - (I knew it was coming and my black ink ran out yesterday, and the color ran out four months ago).  I have a lamp, a box of tissues, sunglasses, two facial masks, my pillbox, four pens, a screwdriver, staple, a container for stamps, cards, and miscellaneous small papers (which needs to be cleaned), pictures of the triplets, headset, and clear nail polish.  Why I have some of this on my desk, I don’t know!!!  (And, while writing this paragraph, I threw about six things in the trash!!!  And when I am finished, I will put the screwdriver back in my ‘junk drawer’ (where I have kept screwdrivers for quick use for years), put the nail polish in the bathroom cabinet, put the masks on the counter with the other 42 masks (okay, maybe with ten other masks).  


So, on the “unclutter” and ‘minimalistic workspace’ topics I fail.


I am reminded of a story (that I don’t know is true) about President Dwight Eisenhower who had a goal by the end of the day to have a clean desk.  Seemingly at the end of the day, he took his arm and just slid everything off his desk into his desk drawer.  Yes, he had a clean desktop by the end of the day - but not quite a clean desk drawer!!!

There is a saying “A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered mind” (supposedly attributed to Albert Einstein, but probably not).  


Another source said, “Orderliness and cleanliness are two important factors in efficiency. A disordered desk is evidence of a disordered brain and a disordered character.”

*****

-7 Be ten minutes early!!!


Being late (to almost anything) means rushing, arriving out-of-breath, and not prepared for the meeting/event.  Yes, I am retired and I have the luxury of more time - but I do like being early rather than being late!!


-8 Accept and let go!!


If there is anything in this list of things leading to inner peace, this is it.  Shakespeare (in Macbeth - Act V) has Lady Macbeth saying “What’s done cannot be undone”. 


Letting go of old things gets the trash out.  It is taking that potential mountain and making it back into a molehill (point 3).  If you were wrong, apologize, if you were right, still apologize.  We all do stupid things.  Get over it.  As soon as you can accept the past, you can move into the present.


-9 Ask instead of guessing.

The article says, “So ask and communicate instead. It may sometimes be a bit hard at first but it can save you and the people around you so much trouble in the long run.”


If I am trying to guess on a situation, it puts that stress back in life.  Ask, clarify, understand, and live with whatever the situation is!!!


*****

WOW - I got through five items today, and four yesterday - and if I can get six tomorrow, we will be done with the article (and, I can go deeper!!!)


See you tomorrow!!!


LOVE WINS!!!


HUGS!!


Karen



Sunday, September 27, 2020

Internal Peace - part I

 LET’S GO INSIDE YOUR MIND

https://www.positivityblog.com/inner-peace/


With all the turmoil around us, we need to get away - at least mentally.  


So, today, starting on INNER PEACE


And, a scripture to start: Philippians 4:6-7

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”


Can you imagine this “deep, perfect, God peace”?  


Let’s look at this article


-1 SET LIMITS


When I try to do too much, put too much “on my plate”, I get stressed.  Over the years, the hardest thing for me to do is say:” No”.  


It has been too easy when asked “Could you help with this?” - for me to say “Sure”.  With retirement it sometimes has been the other way around, I wish I had more things to do (and instead, I do computer puzzles and games).  The article says,  “If your life is overfilled you may need to set some limits. So stop doing some of the least important things, the things that honestly don’t matter that much.” (implying less Facebook, less Word With Friends, fewer crossword puzzles, less <this and that>.  I have things in my apartment to (really) read, I have crocheting to do (and learn).  I need to determine what my day is.  


Once I read that you need to “Surround your day with prayer as if you are putting a hem on something, that way your day will not unravel!!”

*****

-2 FIND A RELAXATION TECHNIQUE THAT WORKS FOR YOU.

Some people like to unwind with yoga (or stretching and relaxation techniques).  I’m not sure if it is relaxing or changing and charging my brain when I walk with either some favorite music or an audiobook on my iPhone.  


I also try during the day, to turn everything off (no TV - but I don’t have a TV anyway), no phone, no music, no computer.  Some people do meditation - trying to find that inner peace.  Trying to let everything else go,  Some people like to stand in the shower - letting the warm water just wash over them - like letting everything go down the drain.


Relaxation fights stress!!  


-3 DON’T MAKE MOUNTAINS OUT OF MOLEHILLS

OUCH.  

The article has two questions for us: Will this matter in five years? In two years?  In a week?  

Does somebody on this planet have it worse than I do?  (I’m sure there are millions who have it worse than I do!!)


What is the worst that can happen to me today?  Yes, I could be in a car accident and die - or be maimed and paralyzed.  I’m like Paul in Philippians chapter 1 - verse 21 “For to me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better.”  Someday I will die - it is what it is!!!


Back in Winter 2017, I let three things go from molehills to mountains - and my blood pressure built to a perilous level (so, my doctor said I was lucky to be alive).  Like last week when I wrote about “Fixation” - I focused on my problems to a dangerous level - which led to major surgery.  


Keep the stress low if you want peace in your life!!!


-4  SLOW DOWN


I used to be a ‘speed walker’ - getting from point A to point B the fastest way possible. A friend was sharing a small thing a while back.  She was using a GPS application - and the estimate was 47 minutes - and she made the trip in 44 minutes!!  She was proud of herself!!


I don’t need to drive at 3 miles over the speed limit on the interstate.  Most sections of the interstate near me are three lanes - so if I am too slow (going maybe 3 miles per hour under the speed limit), pass me!!!  I’m retired, so I can leave five (or even ten)  minutes early to go to church or to coffee with a friend.  Yesterday, I took some back roads to get to coffee - more stoplights, less traffic, and a lower speed limit!!  


The article says “If you slow down while walking, moving your body or talking you can often start to feel less stressed (compared to if you move/talk fast).”


So, too much stress - not enough peace?  Slow down!!!


*****

And, peace is really mostly in our brains!!!  


More on this tomorrow!!!


LOVE WINS!!


HUGS!!!


Karen


Saturday, September 26, 2020

SUNDAY FUNDAY - SEPTEMBER 27, 2020

SUNDAY FUNDAY - SEPTEMBER 27, 2020

Tomorrow is September 28th

Ah - the number 28 is a “perfect number”!!!  (Sorry, the former mathematician is on a tangent again).  The factors of 28 are 1, 2, 4, 7, 14, and 28.  If you add them together (leaving off the 28), it adds up to 28!!!


(And, if you were interested, other perfect numbers include 6, 496,, and 8,128.)


FALL IS HERE


Okay, I grew up in Iowa and hung around the upper midwest too much of my life (Minnesota, Wisconsin, Iowa, Nebraska, and South Dakota).  In most cases, I will take that part of the world over Texas for July and August.  BUT … from now until next May, Texas weather wins out!!!


FALL FAVORITES:

From: https://sohp.com/16-top-fall-smile-starters/


From the Society of Happy People (sohp) we have some Fall Favorites


PUMPKIN SPICE!!!


Yes, it is Pumpkin Spice season again.  I saw a sign on the Internet advertising “Pumpkin Spice Oil Changes”.  


It seems like almost anything that can be spiced up is the “Pumpkin Spice” flavor now. Pumpkin pie spice is a mixture of cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, allspice, and cloves.


Of course, Pumpkin Spice is a big winner for Starbucks.  I tend NOT to go to Starbucks - while I love coffee, I am just not a big fan of Starbucks. (I’ll make a pot of coffee at home firsts)


If I can get an illustration to work, here is SPAM - limited edition Pumpkin Spice!!!  (Doesn’t that sound just wonderful)



*****

FOOTBALL SEASON!!


Yes, it is time for football.  (Real football - you know, the kind where you can throw it, run with it, and on rare occasions really kick it!!  Not to be confused with the rest of the world where “fuitbol” is really soccer - where you actually use your FOOT!!!).


I used to be into football more.  Every Saturday afternoon, I spent time watching Nebraska, Iowa, Texas, and whoever else.  I would get three games on most Saturdays.  Then on Sunday, I’d get a noon NFL game, a 3:30 NFL game, and the Sunday night NFL game. But, without a television set, I can’t watch the games, so I hardly know the big-time professional players.   But, I still have favorites - the Green Bay Packers!!  Seemingly if the Packers wanted to move to another city (say Oakland, or Los Angeles or Las Vegas) the proceeds would all go to the Green Bay American League Post(or something like that).  


For college football, I like Nebraska.   When I was a graduate student at Nebraska I went to one game!!  It was a cold rainy fall day, I was in the library researching and writing an academic paper.  Some time in the second half as the Huskers fans were streaming out (the temperature was in the upper 30’s - plus the rain), I slipped in, an usher saw me and didn’t say anything and I finished out the game.  It was a blow-out - and yes, I was cold and wet by the end as well!!!


And, of course, football is the “tail that wags the dog” in colleges!!  We have a pandemic that has made a lot of education into online delivery, but we NEED football.  Some conferences said “NO” to football this year, but Texas insisted, and the BIG Ten (which has fourteen teams), and others have said “YES”.


Technically college football is part of academic life.  But, college sports have become BIG BUSINESS!!  Seatgeek says “Typically, Texas Longhorns tickets can be found for as low as $31.00, with an average price of $519.00 but can vary depending on the opponent.”


When you factor in that the Texas stadium seats over 100,000 people, in a normal season, that is a LOT of money!!!  In Nebraska, that means that cross-country, tennis, track, and other ‘lesser” sports get their funding from the athletic department from football revenue.  Plus, through in television revenue, plus licensed sports items (shirts, bumper stickers, and more), this is a BIG DEAL.


To go without football for a season was going to be tough for a college.  But, that does cause us to question what the value of a college education is!!!


This news article suggests that the NCAA is cutting back:

https://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/ncaab/2020/03/31/coronavirus-ncaa-president-mark-emmert-taking-20-percent-pay-cut/5094515002/


“NCAA President Mark Emmert and members of the association’s senior management will be cutting their pay by 20% and the association’s vice presidents will be cutting their pay by 10% due to financial pressure the NCAA is facing from the coronavirus pandemic, according to a memo obtained  Tuesday by USA TODAY Sports.”


“According to the association’s most recent federal tax records, which cover the 2017 calendar year, Emmert made just over $2.1 million in base salary. Donald Remy, then executive vice president and now chief operating officer, had the next-highest base salary at just under $1.1 million.”


And, stop and think.  The NCAA is a non-profit organization for the promotion of college sports. (NCAA stands for National Collegiate Athletic Association).  Where unpaid college students put in long hours away from the classroom - playing for well-paid coaches.  Nick Saban, the Alabama football coach, “For the 2019 season, Saban will be scheduled to make $8.7 million - $7.9 million in basic annual compensation that will continue increasing by $400,000 annually, plus an $800,000 contract-year completion payment.“


*****

APPLE CIDER

Apple cider is one of the fall favorites


Do you like apple cider on one of the cooler autumn evenings?  Maybe with a cinnamon stick in it?


Or Mulled Wine?

*****

CHILI

Fall is a great time to make a kettle of chili!!


Are you a beans or no-beans person?  Or a hamburger or no-hamburger person?  Extra spice, or limited spice? 


If you are into Chili - have you done Cincinnati's five-way chile?  Five-way: spaghetti, chili, beans, onions, and cheese.   

*****

CATCH A FALLING LEAF


Some people believe that catching a falling leaf is good luck.  Are you one of those?  


I like Central Texas as our Live Oak trees don’t lose their leaves until the new crop of leaves pushes them out the next spring.  So, all winter we have leaves on the trees.  Back north, most trees lose their leaves (deciduous trees) so the hillsides are barren (and it looks even colder with snow on the ground).


SOME LOGIC PROBLEMS (answers at bottom)


There are two ducks in front of a duck, two ducks behind a duck, and a duck in the middle. How many ducks are there?



A man has 53 socks in his drawer: 21 identical blue, 15 identical black, and 17 identical red. The lights are out and he is completely in the dark. How many socks must he take out to make 100 percent certain he has at least one pair of black socks?

*****

NATIONAL DAYS!!!


I didn’t mention it last week but Wednesday was National Redhead Appreciation Day. 


Last Thursday was National Cherries Jubilee Day..  Cherries jubilee is a dish that involves cherries and liqueur and generally ice cream.  


Last Friday was National Daughter Day..  I have one daughter and one son (that I dearly love) and five fantastic grandchildren!!


Yesterday was National Better Breakfast Day.  I always have breakfast.  Generally, it is oatmeal or eggs (every other day).  But yesterday I had pancakes since it was National Pancake Day!!!!


*****

LOGIC PROBLEM ANSWERS


There are two ducks in front of a duck, two ducks behind a duck, and a duck in the middle. How many ducks are there?


Three - Two ducks are in front of the last duck, two ducks are behind the first duck and there is one in the middle

*****br

A man has 53 socks in his drawer: 21 identical blue, 15 identical black, and 17 identical red. The lights are out and he is completely in the dark. How many socks must he take out to make 100 percent certain he has at least one pair of black socks?



Forty Socks


While it is unlikely that he pulls out each of the blue and red socks before getting two black socks, it could happen.


So, 21 blue socks plus 17 red socks are 38 - and by that time, the only thing left in the drawer would be black, so the next two would be black.


(That would give you certainty - but if you pulled only four socks out of the drawer there would be one match - but you don’t know what color it is.  And, just thinking about this - why are there an odd number of socks of each color?  Don’t socks come in pairs?


**********


There we are - another Sunday Funday!!!  Come back next week!!!


Hugs!!!


Love Wins!!


Karen


Friday, September 25, 2020

 Saturday Story - September 26, 2020


Our last Saturday Story of September 2020!!! (But October will have stories too!!!  <grin>


The deck was stacked against James Johnson.  His birth mother was Lucille Alvarez - the local drug dealer and prostitute of Harris County.  Even she wasn’t sure who the father was.  Shortly after his birth - in a back bedroom on 3rd street - his mother was arrested (again) for dealing drugs to an undercover cop.  The previous arrest called for immediate jail time - kind of a ‘three-strike’ rule.  But, this time, the circumstances were different - Lucille had a child - all of three months old.  James had a low birth weight, and living with his mother while she did ‘tricks’ wasn’t going to help his nutritional needs.  


The Harris County assistant district attorney had prosecuted Lucille too many times in the past.  Her criminal record was long - theft, prostitution, drugs, public intoxication, shoplifting, bad checks, fraud, slapping (and biting) a police officer, and more.  Even with the baby, there would be no plea bargaining this time.  She had become a ‘hardened criminal’ and she was going to jail.  The assistant district attorney wanted twenty years in jail.  Even the public defender knew she was going to jail, but tried to convince the judge that five years would be enough and with a chance for parole after three years.  It was an ‘open-and-shut’ case and Lucille pled guilty.  She didn’t even mention her baby James.


Immediately, James went to his first foster home.  The Markhams were good people, but dealing with a three-month-old - who probably was a drug addict from birth - and cried incessantly - was not a good match.  The Markhams tried, but after a year (with frequent interactions with the Child and Family Department of Harris County), they said “they couldn’t do it”.  


Foster homes can vary.  By the time he was 16 James had been in four foster homes.  The longest was the Anson family - for ten years.  They helped James fit in, and got his reading, writing, and math scores close to his grade level.  They had two other sons and they played and got along well.  But, Jason Anson, the dad, was transferred out-of-state for his job and they couldn’t take James along with the family move.  


The worst was the Perez family - for four grueling years.  Some people do foster care for the money, and that was the Perez family.  He got hand-me-downs from the older boys, had a closet that had been made into a bedroom, there was little help with his academic skills. And, there was the abuse.  Mitch Perez was an alcoholic and beat James frequently (and not his own sons) when he was drunk (which was frequent).  James ran away twice (at the age of 12), but really didn’t have a place to run to.  His overworked caseworker finally figured out about the abuse and moved James out.  


The last family was the Nichols family.  They were an older couple without children and wanted to make a difference in the life of a child, so took James on as a foster child.  But, they weren’t really good parents as James ran around, smoked dope, and rarely went to school.  


The county didn’t have many options.  He wouldn’t be old enough to be out of the child and dependent care department until 18.  They put him in the Giddings State School.  He dropped out of this facility on his eighteenth birthday and joined the Army.  


He had all the wrong background for the Army.  Drug usage, lack of enough educational skills, no real family, rotten attitude, delinquency, and court issues.  


But, the Army wasn’t the solution for James either.  Yes, there was discipline and order in his life, but once basic training was over, drugs and drug dealing took over again.  But, it was better than the Giddings Training School had been.  


James was assigned to Fort Benning in Georgia to train as a paratrooper.  Suddenly, things looked up for James - jumping out of airplanes with a parachute was going to be fun.  It was work, but he did well in his ground school and on to his first plane jump.  It was a ‘gas’.  


But, he still was into drugs and dealing.  One Saturday evening, MPs stopped at his barracks as he had just bought some marijuana and was going to sell it. They put him in the brig and worked him over.  It was his first offense, so he went on probation.  The Army knew that recreational drugs were common but frowned on dealing.  


The jumping increased - day jumps, night jumps, jumps with heavy backs, jumps into forested areas, night jumps into dark football stadiums. He was torn - he liked the jumping, but drugs were pretty much part of his life too.


 The Anson family had kept up with James over the years, even though he did a poor job of communicating back.  They had moved to the Atlanta area and had heard that James was nearby in Fort Benning. They invited him to Thanksgiving dinner - and it was like the good times that James remembers - the eight years with the Anson family had been good.  Mike Anson was two years older than James and was graduating from Georgia Tech University in the spring.  Dan Anson was James’ age and they hit it off well. 


James also got three days off at Christmas and he was allowed to go to the Anson family again.  There was lots of food, football, and fellowship.  There were even presents for James - some civilian clothes (civies) and some snacks he could take back to base with him.  


Jason Anson had heard about the Man-to-Man program where a Christian man could visit inmates and share time and faith with them.  While there wasn’t quite a man-to-man for soldiers program - Jason made a point of driving from the Smyrna Georgia suburb to Fort Benning every other week to meet with James.  


Graduation from Airborne / Paratrooper School came, and Jason, Paula, Mike, and Dan came for the graduation ceremonies.  


James looked distinguished in his dress uniform.  They shared some time together.  James was going to be transferred to Camp Roberts in Monterey California.  As they were saying their goodbyes, Jason’s fill billfold was too tempting for James, and while they weren’t paying much attention, James picked Jason’s pocket.  


As soon as he had a chance, James took out anything that was of value in the billfold and kept the money and one credit card and destroyed the billfold and the rest of the items.  He was going to be gone to California, and the money (about $200) would do him more than it would for Jason Anson (so, he thought).  


Going back to Smyrna, the Anson family stopped for a break and Jason found he was missing his billfold.  He knew he had it with him in the morning as he paid for coffee for their trip at Ziggi’s coffee as they left town.  


He had his billfold as they had to show his ID to get into Fort Bennings.  


Turning to Paula, he said quietly “I think James took it.  I can get a duplicate driver’s license, credit cards, and other things.  My guess is that when James bumped him to say ‘goodbye’, he picked my pocket.  It’s only money - and we can have that.  I’m even going to leave the credit card active for a week or two.”


*****

James took off the next day for Camp Roberts.  He kept the money and the credit card.  He hoped that Jason Anson wouldn’t miss it.  He flew Delta from Atlanta to San Francisco and then a bus to Monterey.  He was surprised at the people who say “Thank you for your service” and similar things as he waited for the plane and for the bus.  He used the credit card for a snack at Bojangles in the Atlanta airport - and it worked!!  That was good.  At San Francisco airport (SFO), he used it for some other things - including a nice San Francisco t-shirt.  It was fun spending somebody else’s money.  


*****

In the middle of January, James got a letter from the Ansons.  Jason wrote about Mike’s graduation and his job that he had already accepted with a civil engineering company.  Mike wanted to get some experience before he went back to graduate school.  Dan was pursuing a computer science major, Paula was still teaching, and things were fine in Georgia.  Jason did not say anything about the billfold, the money, or the credit card, but closed the letter with a prayer for his safety, welfare, and asking God’s grace, mercy and peace be upon him.  


It did affect James a little.  That nagging spot in his gut said he had screwed up - but he comforted it was a beer from the PX.  


At Camp Roberts, James got tested and found that he had an aptitude for technical support.  He was put into an online computer trouble-shooting class, and soon he was a real whiz on repairing technology.  He approached his senior officer and asked if he could try to build his own computer with parts in the technology lab.  Soon he was building computers, then building networks.  His drug usage had diminished some as he found activities that he loved.  


The Anson family, basically Jason Anson, kept in touch.  In February, James received a box of birthday goodies.  Jason and Paula had packed some Georgian goodies - peach jam, peace candy, two collectible Coca-Cola bottles, and some pictures from the graduation ceremony.


James did well in his work.  But, he was still getting high most weekends.  


And, he was lonely.  One Saturday night he was thinking about a sexual encounter.  He knew where he could get a prostitute and discreetly went to find a woman.  But, the experience overwhelmed him.  The prostitute was old and reminded him of somebody.  As he was getting his sexual pleasures, he found out her name was Lucille.  His brain went into overdrive.  He had never known his mother other than a picture or two.  Sure, this lady was old, and she did her ‘tricks’ fairly cheaply and did have health notices that she was clean.  But James could see the needle marks in her arm, he could see the hollowness of her eyes, the missing teeth.  It scared James so much, that he couldn’t finish the sexual act, and threw money into her lap and ran from the room. 


He ran and ran.  He passed a liquor store and bought a 750 ml bottle of Jack Daniels.  He chugged most of the bottle.  He found a park bench and rested, then ran for another hour.  About midnight he returned to his base apartment.  But sleep didn’t come.  He could see the prostitute Lucille in his brain.  Could it be his mother?  His mother was 16 when he was born.  He was now 24.  Was this Lucille about 40?  Maybe - but maybe not.  About three in the morning as he struggled with his life, he ‘heard’ a voice. Was it God?  He didn’t know God, he knew nothing about God, other than what he learned when he lived with the Anson family.  At first, he was scared - God must have been there to kill him for his evil life.  But, he didn’t sense that.  After about half-an-hour, there was a warmth that came over him and he felt peace, a peace that he had never known.  Shortly after that, he fell asleep.  About eight in the morning, something woke him.  He didn’t quite know what was going on.  He showered and put on a clean uniform and his steps somehow led him to a church.  There was a somehow familiar person who greeted him on the sidewalk and directed him inside.  


James was lost in the service.  People around him slid away from him.  But, the real part was during the message.  Somehow the speaker knew him and spoke directly to him - and not to anyone else in the church.  As soon as he could he ran out of the church and headed to the overpass over I-305.  He waited until he saw a flurry of cars coming - and he was going to jump - the paratrooper was going to make his last jump.  As he started to jump over the railing, a car pulled up and the man who greeted him outside the door yelled STOP at him.  The man jumped out of his car and grabbed James.  He was saying things like “God loves you”.  It was the man who had greeted him at church!! James couldn’t quite explain it, but there was a sudden break in the clouds and the brightness of the sunshine was right at the stop where he and the man were.  Could it be God?  What was going on?


A squad car pulled up about five minutes later.  James went to the police station in the squad car, but the other man drove himself there as well.  There was a charge of attempted suicide and the bail was to be $1,000.  The man steps up and says “I will pay for his bond” and he did  


The man took James to his house and his wife was there and gave him lunch.  James cried through part of the lunch.  At some point, James mentioned his friends, the Ansons.  The man jumped.  


“What name did you say?” asked the man. 


James looked incredulously at the name “What did I say?”


The man said “I thought you said “Anson”.


James looked shocked - “Yes, I guess I did”.


The man continued “I am a cousin to Jason Anson.  His mother and my father were sister and brother.  I’m Ben Rottham.”


James looked at Ben - was this God person in charge of this meeting?  Was God calling on him?  James spilled his guts and talked about the Ansons and how he had stolen money and the credit card from Jason’s billfold.  He talked about his running from God.


Ben stopped James at a point and said “God wants you James.  You’ve been running too long”. 


James and Ben prayed and Ben led James in a prayer.  Again, that warmness came over him.


When they finished, Ben said “James, I’m going to call my cousin.  Do you want to talk to him?”


Ben called Jason Anson. They talked for a few minutes, and then Ben said “I have a friend of yours with me.  His name is James.  And I don’t even know his last name.”


The line went dead for about ten seconds.  Ben thought maybe they had gotten cut off.  


Then Jason said, calmly “Last night about nine, I was asleep, but I couldn’t sleep.  Somehow God had put James on my heart.  So, I got into my prayer chair and prayed and interceded for James.  I had no idea why God wanted me to pray for James, but I did - for about six hours.”


Ben put James on the phone.  James quickly blurted about taking the money and credit card from Jason.  Jason said, “I know”.  James kept going about all he had done wrong.  


Jason interrupted James and said “James, God answered my prayers.  He put Ben around you to keep you from jumping and from ending your life.”


They talked longer, but James knew that something major had changed inside himself.  


From that time forward, James stopped his drug usage, he never went to a prostitute again (but he did check, it wasn’t his Mom). He finished his enlistment program and moved to Atlanta where Jason saw that he was hired by a technology support company.  


*****

Yes, that is my Saturday story.  A little dramatic, and definitely Pollyanna approved!!  I’m not preaching today - but call it what you will - God, the Force, The Divine Power, He, She, The Almighty - but I believe there is such a force in the world.  Yes, this story is fiction, but it could be real.  At someplace there is a “heaven” and in this story, the Hound of Heaven found James.  


Thank you all for reading this.


LOVE WINS!!!


HUGS!!!


Karen