Tuesday, December 1, 2020

 Tuesday, December 1, 2020

I’m doing a series on my teaching - lessons learned.

Yesterday, I wrote about getting my first job.  Nothing quite like taking your first job sight unseen from a phone interview (without any research).  

Today, that first year at West Grant High School!!

I student taught - so I ‘knew’ how to teach.  Piece of cake.  Many times, I have said that I should have paid the West Grant School District for that first year and it was a whole year of student teaching (without a supervising teacher!!!)

***** 

My first real exposure was the teacher's in-service workshop.  As I remember, it wasn’t much.  Maybe a pep talk by John Gehn, then we broke up into individual units.  I was in the high school unit, so Mr. Mitske did that part of the day.  It wasn’t too memorable (and rarely are those back-to-school teacher sessions).  I knew where my room was, I got my schedule, I got my teacher's books - and I pretty much was set.

The schedule was an eye-opener for me!!!  There were NINE periods in a day and I had to teach SEVEN periods.  (Later as a professor, I generally had a 12 credit load - which meant I had four classes three times a week.)  The classes were about 45 minutes each.  I had one prep period and a study hall.  I was busy!!  And, of those seven periods I taught - there were six different preps.  (For non-teachers, that meant I had six DIFFERENT classes a day - but my two sections of Algebra I would be one prep.

I taught: 

-. Two sections of Algebra I

-. Geometry

-. Advanced Algebra (junior level)

-. Senior Advanced math

-. Consumer math

-. Basic math (for those who couldn’t do algebra)

Every student needed two math classes to graduate.  For the college-bound, the two basic classes were Algebra I and Geometry - at a minimum.  For the non-college-bound, it was basic math and consumer math.  

For my teacher friends, teaching high school math is so easy (okay, some bias).  The normal class day would be: 

-. Start of class - review yesterday’s material and check the homework - 10 to 15 minutes

-. Introduce the new material (which built on yesterday’s lesson) - 20 to 35 minutes

-. Do some examples of the new material

-. Give an assignment (like do the odd problems on page 231)

-. Dismiss with the bell

*****

My first day of class.

Since I accepted the position in late April 1969, I was thinking.  That first day of class was going to be so motivational!!  It was going to be a combination of commencement address and fire-and-brimstone (logically speaking).  I was going to motivate these students so they would be so excited they would go to the Principal and Superintendent and beg for a longer class period.  

Every class (except the senior math class) was going to get this rah-rah - motivational talk.  It was going to be awesome!!!

Unfortunately, I was so wrong!!  I gave my motivational thoughts, and about eight minutes later, I was done.  My point had been made.  I didn’t have anything else to give them!!  I didn’t have any course material ready for the first day, because it was going to be the grand day of motivation!!!

FAILURE!!!  (In later years, I had both motivational ideas AND course materials ready).

So, on this first day of class in fall 1969, the students got about 35 minutes of free time to talk and visit about their summer with their friends.

*****

Timing and Spacing.

 As the semester went on, I learned about timing, spacing.  I started to really PLAN - to outline where I was going.  Yes, these were the days when the textbook ‘was’ the class.  Start at page one and go to the end of the book by the end of the class year.  Pretty simple!!  And, the teacher’s edition of the textbook had sample schedules, and test questions, and suggestions for teaching.  I learned quickly not to stray too far from the teacher’s edition.  I definitely was “by-the-book” (as I got into teaching at the college level that changed).  

Senior Math.

West Grant was not a large school!!  The average graduating class was about 22 to 25 students.  In my senior math class, I had TWO students:  Joe Deininger, and Dana Fleming.  I am friends with Dana on Facebook, and Dana is married to Joe’s sister!!  

This was NOT a textbook class.  These two learned quickly to do the work and get me off on a tangent.  I tried to make this a solid pre-calculus class, and in some respects it was.  But, Joe and Dana found we could talk about mathematics in other respects.  Hey - it was a class of two - and if the proof is in the outcome - they both were great students who went on to great things.  By-the-way, with a birthday in late August, I turned 22 just before the school year started.  I was about four years older (really probably less if their birthdays were in (say) December as compared to my students.  I couldn’t really pull the “I’m so much older and wiser than you!!!” trump card!!

Junior Algebra

This was at least a class.  I remember about 11 students in this class during that first year.  And, about five of them went on to my senior math class the second year.

Geometry

This class had about 18 students.  Since math was required for two years, most students did algebra I and geometry to meet that requirement.  

Of all my high school classes, geometry was maybe the most fun - the logic, the proofs, and ‘seeing’ math.

Algebra I

The traditional basic algebra class.

Basic Math and Consumer math - for those that didn’t excel in math.  Consumer math was maybe the most interesting and challenging.  These were concepts I never learned - like how to balance your checkbook and how to actually write checks.  How to figure the amount for payment on loans.  

*****

So, off to a start in the world of teaching.  I had to start someplace.  And, I had to learn and grow.

Tomorrow more about my first year at West Grant, coaching, and more!!

LOVE WINS!!

HUGS!!

Karen

Monday, November 30, 2020 - Getting my first job

Monday, November 30, 2020

Memories and Lessons

This week, I am looking at my teaching memories and the lessons I learned.  It is said of some people who have worked at the same job for 30 years, that they have 30 years of experience, and other people in the same job for 30 years, that they had one year of experience that was repeated thirty times.  The implication is that the second person didn’t grow in his/her job while the first person did grow.

So, my memory today is from my first year teaching at West Grant High School in Patch Grove, Wisconsin.  (Hey Dana and Joe, Kurt, Sherry, and so many others!!)

Getting that first job was quite a bit different than today.  With no internet, no fax, no email, the world was a different place.  I was in my last term at Winona State College (which later became Winona State University) and really hadn’t thought about what happened after graduation.  College was too much fun - but real life called.  In my mind, I was going for a master’s degree someday.  But, I knew I needed some money to get my master’s degree and after four years of paying for college, largely on my own, I didn’t have much money left.  So, I needed to take my first real job!!

I was a double major in mathematics and social science/history concentration and in education.  I had done my student teaching at Winona High School.  I was a dorm resident assistant (RA) and in too many clubs and organizations.  And, I graduated with high honors and received the “Purple Key” designation (a local variant of a Phi Beta Kappa honor).

I opened my file at the Winona State Placement office in March 1969.  To that, I had an unofficial transcript (pending graduation), a typed cover-letter (not word-processed - but I was a good typist and this version didn’t have any ‘white-out’!!), and a statement of my interest to become a math teacher.  

Every week, the placement office received job openings from around the area.  I suppose all the school districts that had job positions mimeographed their openings and sent it to all the relevant colleges in the region.  So, my guess is that the West Grant School District sent this list of openings to maybe thirty schools with teacher education programs.  

Then the Winona State placement office, once a week,  made a consolidated list of all the job openings they had received.  They had two lists - one for teaching candidates (like me) and one for non-teaching students. I would stop in the placement office and pick up a copy of the teaching positions.  

I would read through the list, identify the schools that seemed interesting to me and let the placement office know so they could send out my transcript, cover letter, and my statement of interest to the school district.  So, the job opening in math at West Grant came in, I thought that was a possibility.  It was about 2 hours from my home in Cedar Rapids.  I had to look up Patch Grove Wisconsin on a map and saw it was close to Prairie du Chien, Wisconsin, which was across the Mississippi River and Marquette and McGregor Iowa.  I had been through those areas many times.  My (at that time) girlfriend’s home was in Guttenberg Iowa.  I had enjoyed southwest Wisconsin, so I said “yes” to the placement office to send my materials to John Gehn, Superintendent of the West Grant School District.  A few days later, after Mr. Gehn received my application, he called the placement office to arrange a meeting with me.  

Aside - “the times there are a changing”.  When I first went to Winona State, there was one telephone per floor in the dorms.  There was no such thing as a cell phone - everything was land-line phones.  I did have a telephone in my dorm room - as all dorm rooms did by that point in time.

The placement office contacted me that Mr. Gehn from West Grant School was interested in talking to me.  I said I was ready to talk to him, so using the Placement office as the communication medium, we set up a telephone call between Mr. Gehn and myself.

*****

Mr. Gehn explained their situation.  (I’ll be honest, I was pretty naive).  The person they hired would be the one-and-only high school math teacher.  If I took the job, I would be department-chair, and all the faculty wrapped into one.  

AND … then came the extras - the person who had been their high school math teacher was also the junior varsity basketball coach and head baseball coach.  Could I also coach?  I’d make some additional money.

Generally speaking, to be a high school coach, one should have taken a course like “Care and Prevention of Athletic Injuries” plus courses in “Theory of Coaching Basketball” (or whatever athletic area).  I hadn’t taken any courses in coaching or athletics!!  (My course schedule was full as I did have a double major).  

And (gasp) I said nonchalantly that I could coach basketball and baseball.  BOOM.

Over the phone that day, sight unseen of the school, of the superintendent - in the placement office at Winona State College, I got a job offer to be a math teacher at West Grant High School for about $6,200.  Then I would get about $300 more for my teaching.  And, maybe a bigger gasp, I said “Yes”. 

I walked out of the placement office that day, with two thoughts.  The first thought was ‘hey I have a job after graduation’, and the second thought was ‘what did I just do - taking the first job offered me - sight-unseen’.  

During the summer of 1969, while back in Cedar Rapids after graduating, I subscribed to the “Courier Press” newspaper of Prairie du Chien and looked for apartments to rent.  In the middle of July, my parents and I drove to Prairie du Chien and found an apartment.  It was a huge apartment, the entire second floor of an older home on South Beaumont Street - a block sound of the Prairie du Chien public library and about 13 miles from the West Grant High School!!

*****

Some lessons learned:

There is sometimes something called “dumb luck”.  

Times have changed.  Through a very dated communication system, I took a job sight unseen at a very rural school.

While it was a great experience, these days I would do more research into jobs and probably be a little more selective!!

*****

LOVE WINS!!!  

HUGS!!

Karen

SUNDAY FUNDAY - NOVEMBER 29, 2020

 SUNDAY FUNDAY - September 29, 2020

CALENDARS

Rosh Hashanah 2021 will begin in the evening of

Monday, September 6

Chinese New Year - the year of the OX

Friday, February 12, 2021

Islamic New Year 2021 in the United States will begin in the evening of

Monday, August 9

Mayan New Year

July 26 each year marks the start of a new year

Liturgical New Year (Advent) Last Sunday in November (or first Sunday in December ) - depends on Christmas.

And, the procrastinator’s calendar.  The year 2015 will start about April 3rd this year (maybe)!!!

Most of the world follows the Gregorian Calendar:

“The Gregorian calendar is the calendar used in most of the world. It was introduced in October 1582 by Pope Gregory XIII as a minor modification of the Julian calendar, reducing the average year from 365.25 days to 365.2425 days, thus correcting for the drift against the solar year that the inaccuracy had caused during the intervening centuries. (Wikipedia)

“To get the calendar back in sync with astronomical events like the vernal equinox or the winter solstice, a number of days were dropped. 0 days were dropped when switching to the Gregorian Calendar. However, the later the switch occurred, the more days had to be omitted. This created short months with only 18 days and odd dates like February 30 during the year of the changeover.

In North America, the month of September 1752 was exceptionally short, skipping 11 days.”

So, over some 15 centuries having an extra leap here and there - needed some adjustment!!  I’m not sure how the people in 1752 that had birthdays in those skipped days celebrated their special days.

And, an interesting calendar-related item - remember Y2K?  I had worked for Citibank for several summers and all of our dates (lots of dates - last payment date, next payment day, date cardholder got a Citi credit card.  And all of those dates were stored in five characters YYDDD - like 20320 - for the 320th day of year 20.  If the last payment was 20150, simple subtraction gives you 170 - so your payment is 170 days late (and … we could charge a very nice late payment with interest!!!) 

Hey when computing started in the 1960s (with that amazing, flexible, wonderful programming language called COBOL - right Lorri May), nobody was thinking about January 1, 2000.  

A friend asked me the other day if it was such a big deal.  My answer “YES” - it was a huge deal - but we (computer programmings/analysts) worked hard, a lot of overtime and it seemed like nothing to the outside world.  

******

DECEMBER.

For those of us who have lived in northern areas, December was cold, dark, maybe snowy.  But, it was made lighter by Christmas lights.  Some communities had a lot of lights.  Yes, Georgetown, Texas has Christmas lights around “The most beautiful town square in Texas”.  Johnson City has a great display around the Rural Cooperative there.  Note - Lyndon Johnson grew up around Johnson City and I think the rural coop benefitted from his generosity. Some city parks have displays for cars to drive through (frequently with a charge that goes to some charity). Sometime in December (check your listings) some TV channels will have the best Christmas lights 2020 (and maybe repeats of previous years)  I’m thinking HGTV - but I could be wrong.

And, on December 21, 2020, at 7:30 a.m. - Central Time - Winter officially starts.  It is the ‘shortest day of the year’ (actually, there are still 24 hours in that day) - but in terms of sunlight in the northern hemisphere, it is the day with the least sunlight.  This is why we don’t live in Alaska in December and why it is a great place to visit in June and July!!

I have friends (Jewish) who (at least in the past) hosted a Winter Solstice party.  It is a time of challenge for non-Christian friends.  Do they give presents to their kids for Christmas - celebrating the non-religious aspects (Santa Claus, reindeer, North Pole, Frosty the Snowman, Rudolph, the Grinch, and the other aspects)?

Some say “Happy Holidays”.  I’m not sure “Merry Christmas” if it will offend somebody.  We are all different and if I say “Merry Christmas” and you are not Christian oriented, then take it as a friendly greeting for the season.  If I say “Merry Christmas” and you are a Christian, then you can take it as a statement for celebrating the birth of Jesus. (I don’t want to offend anybody, and yet, I do have my own deep-seated values).  

******

December has many special days for many people (not just Christmas).

HANUKKAH – DECEMBER 10, 2020

“The Jewish Festival of Rededication, also called the Festival of Lights, is an eight-day celebration that falls each year on the Hebrew calendar date of 25 Kislev, which generally falls in December in the Gregorian calendar. (In 2020, Hanukkah is December 10 through December 18.) Hanukkah, also referred to as Chanukah, celebrates the rededication of the second Jewish temple in Jerusalem.”

You probably have seen the dreidel.  Dreidel is Yiddish for "spinning top." A dreidel is a pointed, four-sided top that can be made to spin on its pointed base. 

Dreidel Game: I learned that as you spin the dreidel there are four outcomes:

-. Land on “nun” (נ) and nothing happens.

-. Land on “gimmel” (ג) and you get to take the whole pot.

-. Land on “hay” (ה) and you take half of the pot.

-. Land on “shin” (ש) and you must give a predetermined amount back into the kitty.

Some play with special candy coins and some with real coins.

***

Another aspect is the candles.   During Hanukkah, on each of the eight nights, a candle is lit in a special menorah.

*****

KWANZAA

Kwanzaa, celebrated from December 26 to January 1, is an African American and pan-African seven-day cultural holiday that celebrates family and community. During the holiday, families celebrate with feasts, music, and dance, and end the holiday with a day dedicated to reflection and recommitment to the seven principles. 

The seven principles are:

The seven principles of Kwanzaa are unity, self-determination, collective work and responsibility, cooperative economics, purpose, creativity, and faith. 

And, if you have thought, I’m not really familiar with Kwanzaa, you are correct. “Professor and chairman of Black Studies at California State University, Long Beach, Dr. Maulana Karenga, created Kwanzaa in 1966 in the midst of the Black Freedom Movement”

CHRISTMAS EVE

Christmas Eve is (of course), the night (eve) before Christmas.  The concepts come from Luke chapter 2:

“Now in those days, a decree went out from Caesar Augustus, that a census be taken of all.  Now Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the city of Nazareth to Judea, to the city of David which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and family of David, in order to register along with Mary. While they were there, she gave birth to Jesus.” (edited)

Now it was a night event.  There had been the Star that the Wisemen followed; and shepherds “ keeping watch over their flock at night”.  Many of the Christmas hymns talk about the night - Silent Night, O Holy Night, Hark the Herald Angels Sing, and more.  Thus, many Christian churches have Christmas Eve services and even midnight worship experiences.  A traditional Catholic (and others) experience is “Midnight Mass”.

CHRISTMAS 

Christmas seems to have morphed into a ‘one size fits all’ - as there is the religious aspect of Christmas - the birth of Jesus; but also the secular aspect of Santa Claus and gift-giving.  

Growing up in Eastern Iowa, where (my assumption) was everyone was Christian, Christmas was THE big deal.  In school, we sang Christmas songs - both religious and secular.   I remember almost everybody saying “Merry Christmas” and rarely “Season’s Greetings” or “Happy Holidays”.  

After the Christmas break, when school started again, we wore our new clothes to school and eagerly chatted about what we got for Christmas to our friends.  

I loved to sing (my voice is not good anymore), but the Christmas Hymns, Carols, Secular Songs were part of my experience.  I learned (from my Dad), the lyrics were “Rudolph with your nose so red, won’t you pull my little sleigh” (and, of course, I tried to teach those lyrics to my grandchildren).  I did know that “White Christmas” wasn’t about our family.  I did feel sorry that there wasn’t a “Little Tuba Boy” in addition to the “Little Drummer Boy”.  (And, I bet the babe in the manager was happy that bagpipes were not invented yet!!)

OTHER DECEMBER DAYS

FESTIVUS

For those Seinfeld lovers, you have Festivus.

“Festivus is on December 23 and it’s perfect for those who don’t have a traditional holiday to celebrate. Although it sounds paradoxical, its purpose makes a lot of sense. Not everyone has a major holiday to celebrate like Christmas, Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa and they can feel left out. This holiday gives many people a non-denominational and non-commercial holiday to call their own. Festivus is for everybody!

GIVING TUESDAY

Every year, on the Tuesday after Thanksgiving, people take the time to kick off the holiday season by giving back to their community. Whether it be donating money to a charitable cause or volunteering, Giving Tuesday is a day set to benefit the community.

******

THANKSGIVING FUN

Q: Why did the farmer run a steamroller over his potato field on Thanksgiving Day?

A: He wanted to raise mashed potatoes.

Q: What do you call a running turkey?

A: Fast food!

Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?

A: It was Thanksgiving Day, and he wanted people to think he was a chicken!

Q: What animal has the worst eating habits?

A: The turkey, because it gobbles everything up!

Q: What is a turkey’s favorite dessert?

A: Peach gobbler!

Q: Why do turkeys eat so little?

A: Because they are always stuffed.

Q: What part of the turkey does a percussionist love the most?

A: The drumsticks.

Q: What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?

A: Drumsticks for everyone on Thanksgiving Day!

THANKSGIVING LOGIC PROBLEM:

There are four cousins sitting together at the kid’s table. They are Larry, Nick, Phil, and Tom.  There are four foods: Ham, Mashed Potatoes, Pumpkin Pie, and Turkey.  The four boys are all different ages: 8, 9, 10 or 11 years old.

Clues:

Larry is looking forward to eating turkey

The boy who likes pumpkin pie is one year younger than Phil.

Tom is younger than the boy who  loves turkey

The boy who likes ham is two years older than Phil

Find out which food they like and are expected to eat!!

(Good Luck)

*****

My friends, I hope this blog has been fun (after all it is Sunday Funday).  

Enjoy your last two days of November 2020 - and we KNOW (believe) that 2021 will be a better year as COVID-19 vaccines get rolled out, and LOVE WILL WIN!!!

****

Peace upon all of you!!

LOVE WINS!!

HUGS!!!

Karen

SATURDAY STORY - NOVEMBER 28, 2020

 Saturday Story - November 28, 2020

Prior to today’s story: (from November 7th story)

Rhonda Jenkins and Carrie Parnske were sisters.  Rhonda is three years older than Carrie.  

Their mother, Barb, is my neighbor.  And, Barb put me in a corner and coerced me to see if I could get the two sisters to talk to each other.  Barb would love to have the family together for Christmas, but if Rhonda knows that Carrie will be there, she will back off; and likewise, if Carrie knows that Rhonda will be there, she will find an excuse to celebrate Christmas earlier or later - but not with her sister.

Rhonda was 43-years-old and married to Ryan, who is a Certified Public Accountant (CPA).  They have two children, Arden, age 12, and Trisha, age 9.  They live in a quiet, upscale neighborhood along the North San Gabriel River in Georgetown Texas.  And, like most of their neighbors, they are white, well educated, Christian (or, they go to church weekly), conservative and voted for Donald Trump.  She also voted for all Republican candidates - except for sheriff - where the incumbent Republican was running but has been indicted on excessive force charges in the arrest and death of a black young man. In that contest, she didn’t vote for anybody (she just “couldn’t vote for a Democrat).  Rhonda works part-time in a church-based food pantry, and she was a stay-at-home mom while Arden and Trisha were young.

Carrie is a 39-year-old Human Resources assistant for a major insurance company in San Antonio.  She and her husband, Geoff, have a three-year-old, Gina.  Gina was born about two months early and is kind of a miracle child as she stayed in the Neonatal Care area until she was ready to go home.  Carrie drops Gina off at daycare on her way to her office.  

And, unlike her sister, she voted for Biden and pretty much all Democratic candidates.  She has been to rallies for women’s rights (including choosing abortion, LGBTQ, and gender choices), and rarely go to church.

AND … these two sisters have not talked to each other in three years. 

**********************************

Today’s Story - working towards reconciliation

I had talked with Rhonda and Carrie - separately.  

They each had said they admired their sister - but each has also drawn a hard-and-fast wall between them.  

I had told Barb, their mother, how I would try to talk with them - to try to get them to come together for Christmas.

I had asked Rhonda to make the first step.  

I remembered those words from two weeks ago:

***

I again asked “Can you make the first step?  Can you send a note, a card, a letter, a text to Carrie?”

“It doesn’t have to be much,” I said.  “Maybe something like ‘Carrie, I love you and I’ve been stubborn and wrong.  I do want you in my life.’  You aren’t quite saying I apologize, but you really are saying that.  If you do love your sister (and your mother), you need to make an effort before your mother is dead and gone and you two are estranged for the rest of your life.”

I paused “Rhonda, I am a counselor - and counselors listen - but this time, I’m crossing a boundary - you need to step out here.”

************************************************************

That was then.  Did I put a spark in their hearts?  Could these two sisters who grew up together overcome their differences and join their parents for Christmas?  

Did I put myself in an impossible situation?  (I thought I was a good counselor, but I definitely am not God and not perfect)!!

After talking to both girls, Barb wanted to know if I had made the girls reconcile.  I smiled at Barb’s confidence in my skills.  

I chuckled a little and answered “Barb, I spoke to your daughters.  They each indicated they loved their sister, but that they still didn’t want to be in the same house with each other.  I’m going to visit with them again.”

***

I talked with Rhonda first.  I had asked Rhonda to take the first step and I wanted to know how she came out.  

I set up an online meeting with her for the next day.

****

“Hello,” said Rhonda

“Hi Rhonda”, I answered.  “How are you?  This is Karen.  Is this a good time to talk?”

I could almost hear Rhonda relaxing at hearing my voice.  

“Hi Karen, I’m doing well.  Did you have a good Thanksgiving?”

We had a few minutes of chit-chat, and then I sensed we were ready to talk.

“So, Rhonda”, I started “Did you reach out to your sister?”

Rhonda started slowly.   “Yes, I tried to reach out to her.  I texted her and said that I love her and missed her and wanted to see if we could bridge the gap.”

“For the next day, I checked my phone about every fifteen minutes to see if she had texted me back.  She hadn’t.  But on the third day, I got a phone call from her.”

I waited patiently.  I wanted to say ‘And how did that turn out’, but I didn’t.  I thought this needed to be Rhonda’s story.

Rhonda continued “Actually it was pretty good.  Carrie and I talked for a few minutes about our kids.  Gina is such a special child after being in neonatal care for so long.  I really would like to see Carrie and Geoff, and hold this wonderful child, Gina.”

I was remembering that Gina was about three-years-old and was in neonatal care for a couple of anxious months.  

Rhonda said, “I broke the ice and said that Mom wanted us to come together for Christmas.” 

“It seemed like Carrie was agreeing.  Then the wheels came off, as they say.  She said something about Biden winning.  I don’t think it was throwing dirt in my face, but it hurt me.  I want to put that division behind me.  I must have sounded upset and Carrie must have caught the change in tone.  Shortly afterward she excused herself, something about Gina needed her for something.  I didn’t get a real ‘yes’ or ‘no’ out of her for gathering at my folk’s house for Christmas.”

I listened, but it seemed like Rhonda had stopped, so I picked up the cue. “You know, that the two of you do have some different values - especially politically.  Somehow you can’t let that issue keep you from loving each other.”

I heard Rhonda’s breathing.  “You know your mother wants to see both of you and your families.  It will be hard to swallow our pride and to put love in front of differences.”

(I didn’t want to preach, but sometimes there is a narrow edge between counseling and preaching).

Rhonda replied “I know.  I think I’ve allowed differences to speak louder than agreements.” 

I nodded (since it was an online video call, I wanted to affirm Rhonda with my body language).  

“Rhonda”, I said.  “I’m going to call your sister tonight.  I’m going to tell her that you love her and that you want to be reconciled.  Is that okay?”

On-screen, Rhonda nodded ‘yes’ and said “yes, that will be okay”.  

Rhonda then added, “Karen, I am going to try to honor and respect her, I’m not going to take comments personally.  I really want to make up”.

I replied, “Rhonda, that’s about all we can hope for.  Keep praying”.

****

My call to Carrie was about the same.  We started with some chit-chat.  Since it was online, she called Gina over to say ‘hi’.  She seemed like a happy three-year-old girl.  

We did get to the reason for the call fairly quickly.

I started, “Carrie, you know why I’m calling.”

I could see her nodding.  “You Mom really wants you to get along and to have the family together.”  Again, a big nod.  “So, what do you think?  Can you see fit to make it work out?”

Carrie answered, “I did have a nice chat with Rhonda, and she said she loves me, and I said I love her.”  

I sensed there was more.

Carrie started slowly.  “I am a bit impatient and (ahh) headstrong.  I’m going to try to temper my comments.  I’m going to think before talking.  The past is past, and blood is thicker than water.”

“Great attitude”, I replied.  “Anything else?”

I could see her drawing her breath.  “I’m going to talk to Geoff to cool it as well.  I know he and Ryan don’t always see eye-to-eye and I love Geoff, but this is going to be like a showdown and I’m going to do my best.”

I had thought of the two husbands, and while this was a reconciliation of the two sisters, they were married women, their spouses were now part of their life.  And, if the two of them crossed each other, it could knock the entire process down.  

I was musing out loud, “Carrie, I’m just thinking of that.  Is there a way you could get to Georgetown a day early with just Gina and you, your Mom and Rhonda could have a day together without Ryan and Geoff?”  

She thought about that.  

She answered, “Well, Geoff could stop and see his folks in San Marcos for a day. We have two cars and both of us are off work by the 23rd.  Gina and I could go to Mom’s house a day early.  And, again, I’d remind Geoff to be on his best behavior.”

As we closed, Carrie made a joke.  “If we are playing cards, I’ll try to be nice when we talk about which suit is trump”. (I understood she didn't want to talk about the outgoing President)

It seemed like things were lined up.  I knew I needed to pray for all of them.

*****

Reconciliation takes work.  Both Rhonda and Carrie will need to watch their tongues and work on hugs and positive statements.  I planned on dropping them a note before the gathering to encourage them.  

*****

Yes, this seems too easy, but it probably is going to have a few bumps.  If they can work at it, the Christmas gathering can be a success - but they will have to work on it - and not only Rhonda and Carrie, but the husbands too (Ryan and Geoff).  Having a day of just the family first might help the healing to start.

*****

What do you think?  Will this work

LOVE WINS!!!

HUGS!!!

Karen