Worry-free - part III

Worry-Free - part III

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/stop-worrying-anxiety-cycle_n_4002914

(Last in a series of three)

We have been looking at worry.  Yesterday, I referred to Matthew 6:27 “Can anyone of you by worrying, add a single hour to your life?”

#7 Keep your hands busy

Do you knit? Crochet?  Do crossword puzzles or jigsaw puzzles?  Keeping your hands and mind busy on other projects can keep worry away.

Proverbs 16:27 says this: “ Idle hands are the devil’s workshop; idle lips are his mouthpiece.”  If you are staying busy, you have less time to brood, fret and worry!!

The article says: “Engaging in activities that keep your hands busy and mind distracted could help prevent flashbacks from traumatic experiences”.

#8 Meditate

Turn your back on worries as you meditate and/or pray.  

The article says “Taking some time to find some Zen can really help anxiety in your brain — even brain scans say so. A study published earlier this year in the journal Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience showed that meditation training not only lower anxiety levels in people, but it also had effects on the anterior cingulate cortex and ventromedial prefrontal cortex brain regions (the former region controls emotions and thinking, the latter controls worrying).”

I try to start my mornings with scripture reading, meditation, and prayer.  (And, no way am I perfect!!).  

And, a question for you:  “What were you worried about last year at this time?” or “What were you worried about five years ago at this time of year?”.  Did your worry at that time accomplish anything other than stress in your life?  Probably not.

#9 Get your heart pumping

An almost universal suggestion for so many things is ‘get some exercise’.  

The article has these words of wisdom for us: “Exercise may be a predictable way to beat stress, but it’s only predictable because it’s so effective. Research in animals, for instance, shows that exercise can affect brain activity of serotonin (a so-called “happy” brain chemical) as well as reduce the effects of oxidative stress, The New York Times reported. And Well and Good points out studies showing that exercise interventions can result in lower anxiety levels than people who stay tied to the couch. “Several studies have found the effects of aerobic exercise to be initially similar to those of medication,” Jeff Dolgan, an exercise physiologist at Canyon Ranch Hotel & Spa in Miami Beach, told Well and Good. “However, in the long term, exercise seems to work better”.

Hey, I want serotonin flowing in my brain!!!  Set aside time for exercise every day!!!

For all who are traveling for Thanksgiving, be safe!!  May God bless you and your loved ones as you take time to give thanks!!

Hugs!!

Karen

Worry-Free - part II

Worry-Free

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/stop-worrying-anxiety-cycle_n_4002914

Yesterday I started a three-day series on worrying.  Let’s see what the linked article has to say today

#4 Accept the worry and move on

Yes, there could be a problem, but spending most of your waking hours worrying about it does solve the problem.  

The article says:  “Worrying about worrying is a dangerous cycle to fall in

Therefore, people who get caught up in worry when they try to force themselves to stop worrying may want to try a different strategy — acceptance.”

Let’s take some examples.  “We will not have enough money by the end of the year to pay our taxes.”  That sounds dire.  Sure, it depends on the circumstances.  Did a colossal situation occur? Did you lose your job?  Did your business fail?  Fretting about the situation isn’t going to change it.  What solutions might there be?  Talk to the tax people about making a payment plan?  Sell your house (even at a loss) and move on?  Seek counseling (there are good financial counseling options available)? 

I recently read about a quasi-governmental organization that missed its budget and will have to lay people off.  This is not a good time of the year to get laid off with Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's coming up.  Hey, it happened.  Can you do anything about it - other than worry?  Move on, accept the situation and find a new position.

#5 Write your worries down

Take a piece of paper and write those worries down.  If you are tempted to think about them, you can point at them and said, ‘Yes, I am aware of my problems’.

One research study from the University of Chicago talking about student’s fears and worried about exams said, “Letting all your emotions out on paper before a big exam could help decrease test-taking worry. It might be counterintuitive, but it’s almost as if you empty the fears out of your mind,”

#6 Cut yourself some slack

If you could look behind the scenes in almost every person’s life, you could find something to worry about.  It might be a relative with cancer; or your employment situation; or some other problem.  Might Bill Gates or Warren Buffet have problems?  Sure - they have money - but there could be other issues.  Warren Buffet is 89 years old.  Maybe he is in excellent health, but it might be that his wife, brothers, sisters, others are not in such great health.

Matthew 6:27 says: “Can anyone of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”

We will finish this tomorrow.  Now stop worrying about how much food to prepare for Thanksgiving - relax and enjoy that great holiday of gratitude!!!

Hugs!!

Karen

Be Worry-Free

Worry-Free
https://www.huffpost.com/…/stop-worrying-anxiety-cycle_n_40…

I was reading an article that indicated that worry is related to increased chances of dementia. (Note, not Alzheimer's), so I thought I would look at worry and anxiety for a couple of days.

The article starts with a quote from Corrie ten Boom, a survivor of a Nazi concentration camp. “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength.”

#1 Set aside a time to worry!!
When I read this, I thought “isn’t this article trying to tell us not to worry”. But indirectly, the author’s suggestion is to have a specific time to worry every day. Set aside 30 minutes to worry, and then throughout the rest of the day, don’t allow yourself to worry. Tell yourself if a worry comes up that you will look at that worry in the designated worry time. In effect, you take 23.5 hours out of the day as a worry-free time.

The article has this four-step method:
“Penn State researchers found in a 2011 study that a four-step stimulus control program could help seriously stressed people take control of their anxieties.
Step one: Identify the object of worry.
Step two: Come up with a time and place to think about said worry.
Step three: If you catch yourself worrying at a time other than your designated worry time, you must make a point to think of something else.
Step four: Use your “worry time” productively by thinking of solutions to the worries.

I have a friend who is trying to conserve her money for retirement, but she worries about a lot of things ‘what if we have a hail storm and our roof gets wiped out?’; ‘what if our air conditioner goes out - it is old and will need to be replaced’. Yes, both of those items (and more) are costly, but what about solutions? Put some cheap shingles on the roof now, that will absorb the hail if it comes. Get a good air conditioning specialist to help you plan for replacing the air conditioner. Set aside an amount each month for the major repairs that may (or may not) occur in the future.

#2 Get off the computer
The article described this situation: “A recent study from Anxiety UK showed that nearly half of people feel “worried or uncomfortable” being away from email or Facebook.”

I don’t have a television (not everybody can do that) and I don’t have many worries. And, (even though this is posted on Facebook), I don’t peruse Facebook as much as I did even a few months ago. My unplanned ‘vacation’ [to the mental health facility] was an unplanned four-day break from all electronics!!!

#3 Be mindful
The article had this thought: “The most effective strategies to stop worrying and rumination may be ones based in mindfulness, which involves nonjudgmental awareness of present thoughts and emotions, as well as cognitive-behavioral therapy strategies, according to the University of Surrey review of 19 studies”.

I am still half trying mindfulness. If I am walking outside, notice the grass, trees, even house colors. What might the grass feel as I step on it?

So are you a worrier? Do you wake up at night thinking of some calamity waiting to happen? I’ll look at some additional comments tomorrow!!

See you then!!

Hugs!!

Karen

worrying 

Uber and Binge Drinking

Uber and drinking binges!!

From” https://www.morningbrew.com/daily/stories/2019/11/20/new-study-shines-light-ubers-effect-binge-drinking?utm_source=morning_brew

I subscribe to Morning Brew - a daily news summary.  This article (out of Morning Brew) indicates that heavy binge drinking grows when Uber comes to town.  Huh?

But, as I thought about it, it makes sense.  If I go out drinking and get too drunk to drive home (which, by-the-way has never happened), I’ll call a cab.  But Uber is more user-friendly and generally cheaper.  

The article states: “A study published last week analyzed ridesharing's effects on binge drinking. Turns out, heavy drinking (three-plus instances of binge drinking per month) jumped 9% on average within a couple of years following Uber’s arrival in a new market. 

• In cities without public transportation, instances of binge drinking shot up around 20%.  
• Employment at bars and restaurants increased 2% on average. “

Another related article states: “Some of that change is for the good—a 2017 study showed that alcohol-related car crashes in Portland, Oregon, dropped 62% when Uber resumed operations after a temporary break. “

So, it is okay to get skunk-drunk if you get a cheap ride home.  

Interesting

Gratitude #2

Let’s give THANKS - part II

Taken from: http://www.garlandvance.com/14-ways-to-practice-gratitude-every-day/

Thanksgiving is next week.  Here are some ideas to practice gratitude every day!!  Today we continue from the link above

#6 Make gratitude part of your shutdown at work.  

As a professor, I could have picked up my book bag and at the door of my office just say “Thank you God for a great day”   (But, I didn’t)

Like we have written about many times, GIGO - Garbage in, Garbage Out.  Practicing gratitude like this article suggests is a way of programming our brains to focus on the good, to be thankful for what we have.

I don’t like comparing myself to others, but it might be okay to think of conditions in some third world countries that we don’t even think about.  I have a place, with heat, air conditioning, running water, a toilet, a bathtub/shower, a comfortable bed, electricity, a refrigerator full of food, and a computer.  I’m not sure of the statistics, but that puts me in the top 20% of the world.  And, like most Americans, I take those things for granted.  

#7 Express gratitude to your boss

(For KB).  I can only suggest “try it”.  We do have toxic people in our lives, but we really don’t know what is going on in their brains.  Does a loved one of theirs have cancer?  Do they have cancer - or aches and pains?  Maybe their crabbiness comes from inside them.  In the past six months, I have become good friends with two different women who had been abused by their father when they were girls.  How can they (or we) possibly be grateful for an abusive parent, spouse, neighbor, coach, teacher, or other?  It can only be a supernatural act to give thanks for a toxic or abusive boss, or parent.  On my own, on your own, how can you forgive and give thanks for the jerks in your life?  It is very tough!!!

#8 Write a thank you note.

Okay, “Karen failure time” (again).  Two weeks ago, I got several thank you cards at the local dollar store, with the intent to thank some special people in my life.  Those notes, still unwritten are on my desk.  What is holding me back?  Inertia?  C’mon Karen!!  Send the notes TODAY!!!

And I will end this post and this series with the last point in the article

#9 Take a gratitude picture every day.  Yesterday, this started with a suggestion to have a “gratitude journal”.  If we are to be grateful for EVERYTHING why not take pictures of things and put the picture with your daily journal.  Today, I could take a picture of my crockpot who has two Chicken Breasts cooking (with some peppers, potatoes, tomatoes, and onions - no, I didn’t follow a recipe). At dinner time tonight, I will be grateful for cooked food.  And, even through the day, I will be grateful for the aroma filling my apartment.

So, this article suggests we “Practice an attitude of gratitude”.  I sure can do more of that!!!

Hugs - and wishes for a great Thanksgiving!!!

Karen

,  

Gratitude #1

 Let’s give THANKS

Taken from: http://www.garlandvance.com/14-ways-to-practice-gratitude-every-day/

Thanksgiving is next week.  Here are some ideas to practice gratitude every day!!

#1 Commit to give thanks IN everything, not just FOR something.

I’ve commented on this before, but in the New Testament, 1 Thessalonians chapter 5, verse 19 says: “In everything give thanks.”

Not just in the good times, but (maybe especially) in the bad times.  It is a commitment - every day, every hour.  As you wake up do you say “Thank you God for a new day?”,  As you dress, do you think “I have been blessed to have clothes to wear”, As you eat, do you think or even say a blessing over your food? 

The article emphasized the words IN EVERYTHING  What does that mean to you?  As you stubbed your toe, as you cut yoursef with a knife, as you have to buy new tires for the car as the old ones are so worn - do you give thanks? 

#2  Keep a gratitude journal.

The article suggests just five minutes a day.  Maybe as the first thing in the morning, you can think of all that happened yesterday and give thanks for it.  Be thankful we have a President, Congress, Governor, Mayor, police, teachers, but the gratitude for things in your life. 

1 Timothy chapter 2 verse 1 says: “I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people— for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.” 

Even if you like or don’t like the President, this seems to indicate that we are to be thankful for, and pray for, our leaders.

#3 Start your prayers with gratitude

I know that not all people pray, but if you do, count your blessings!!  Put peace deep inside you.  And, even if you don’t pray, ALWAYS have an “attitude of gratitude”

#4 Tell your spouse things you are grateful for at bedtime.

Like bookends, start and end your day in gratitude.  In my opinion, gratitude at bedtime can set the night for restful sleep as your mind remembers your grateful attitude.

#5  Express gratitude at the start of every hour.

I have a friend that for a time set the alarm on his iPhone to go off at five minutes before the hour.  (I think it didn’t set it for the hour as many meetings start at the top of the hour).  The article suggests taking about 30 seconds to be grateful.

So, how about you?  Are you grateful to be alive? (Aside, after my ‘vacation in the mental hospital a month ago, I am relearning being grateful to be alive).

Hugs!!

Karen

Toxic People - part IV

Toxic People IV

https://www.lifehack.org/283358/15-ways-clever-people-handle-toxic-people

This is my fourth day writing about toxic people.  I am pulling some ideas out of the article

#8  Toxic people like to put you down

But, non-toxic people like to encourage you.  In my new world, I’m finding lots of other women who like to compliment me.  Yesterday a person said, “I love your necklace”. That is supportive. I can’t remember the toxic people I have known saying much in terms of encouragement - unless it was a back-hand compliment “You look good today, as compared to the terrible outfit you wore yesterday”

#9 Toxic people are frequently insecure so they put on bravado.

I have a friend that is so willing to tell me how great he is - I sense he is insecure and is trying to build himself up.  Maybe I don’t have much to brag about, so, no need to brag on my part!!

#10 Toxic people seem to give vague answers to questions.

Maybe it is the insecurity involved, but sometimes direct answers are more appropriate.  (Okay, I sometimes fail on this one. I might have an opinion and I might guess it is different than the person I am talking to, and I don’t want to offend them.  Politics is one of those areas that I rarely share my opinions - because they are just opinions. )

#11 Toxic people like to avoid responsibility

It seems like some toxic people like to blame others, when an honest “Yes, I made a mistake” reply might really be the best.  President Harry Truman had a sign on his desk “The buck stops here” (and he wasn’t talking about male deer in his backyard). An online dictionary defines that phrase as “the responsibility for something cannot or should not be passed to someone else.”

#12 Toxic people can try to manipulate you with smooth words

The articles call this ‘false kindness’.  I like the adage “If you can be anything, be kind”.  Kindness is really appreciated!!

#13 Toxic people like to focus on the problem

And, not on the solution.  Pointing fingers doesn’t really solve the problem, but working together focuses on the solution.  

So, a couple of days looking at toxic people.  Two things still stick in my mind “Love one another”.  And “I really only love God as much as I love the person I love the least.”.

Turn the other cheek is never a popular action.  Love your enemies is not a popular concept.  

Let me finish by quoting 1 Corinthians 13: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

What do you think? Can you conquer toxic people with love?  Have you tried?  

Karen