Toxic People - part IV

Toxic People IV

https://www.lifehack.org/283358/15-ways-clever-people-handle-toxic-people

This is my fourth day writing about toxic people.  I am pulling some ideas out of the article

#8  Toxic people like to put you down

But, non-toxic people like to encourage you.  In my new world, I’m finding lots of other women who like to compliment me.  Yesterday a person said, “I love your necklace”. That is supportive. I can’t remember the toxic people I have known saying much in terms of encouragement - unless it was a back-hand compliment “You look good today, as compared to the terrible outfit you wore yesterday”

#9 Toxic people are frequently insecure so they put on bravado.

I have a friend that is so willing to tell me how great he is - I sense he is insecure and is trying to build himself up.  Maybe I don’t have much to brag about, so, no need to brag on my part!!

#10 Toxic people seem to give vague answers to questions.

Maybe it is the insecurity involved, but sometimes direct answers are more appropriate.  (Okay, I sometimes fail on this one. I might have an opinion and I might guess it is different than the person I am talking to, and I don’t want to offend them.  Politics is one of those areas that I rarely share my opinions - because they are just opinions. )

#11 Toxic people like to avoid responsibility

It seems like some toxic people like to blame others, when an honest “Yes, I made a mistake” reply might really be the best.  President Harry Truman had a sign on his desk “The buck stops here” (and he wasn’t talking about male deer in his backyard). An online dictionary defines that phrase as “the responsibility for something cannot or should not be passed to someone else.”

#12 Toxic people can try to manipulate you with smooth words

The articles call this ‘false kindness’.  I like the adage “If you can be anything, be kind”.  Kindness is really appreciated!!

#13 Toxic people like to focus on the problem

And, not on the solution.  Pointing fingers doesn’t really solve the problem, but working together focuses on the solution.  

So, a couple of days looking at toxic people.  Two things still stick in my mind “Love one another”.  And “I really only love God as much as I love the person I love the least.”.

Turn the other cheek is never a popular action.  Love your enemies is not a popular concept.  

Let me finish by quoting 1 Corinthians 13: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

What do you think? Can you conquer toxic people with love?  Have you tried?  

Karen