FRIDAY OCTOBER 20, 2023 - SPIRITUAL THOUGHTS

 FRIDAY, OCTOBER 20, 2023 - SPIRITUAL THOUGHTS

I write from a Judeo-Christian viewpoint. I also promote “LOVE WINS”.

This week is a refresher for me.

Many Christian Churches use a Common Lectionary with this Gospel Reading: (Matthew 22:1-14)

Jesus again spoke to the chief priests and elders of the people in parables, saying,

"The kingdom of heaven may be likened to a king who gave a wedding feast for his son.

He dispatched his servants to summon the invited guests to the feast, but they refused to come.

A second time, he sent other servants, saying,' Tell those invited: "Behold, I have prepared my banquet, my calves and fattened cattle are killed, and everything is ready; come to the feast."'

Some ignored the invitation and went away, one to his farm, another to his business.

The rest laid hold of his servants, mistreated them, and killed them.

The King was enraged and sent his troops, destroyed those murderers, and burned their city.

Then he said to his servants, 'The feast is ready, but those invited were not worthy to come. Go out, therefore, into the main roads and invite to the feast whomever you find.'

The servants went out into the streets and gathered all they found, bad and good alike,

and the hall was filled with guests.

But when the King came in to meet the guests, he saw a man not dressed in a wedding garment. 

The King asked him, 'My friend, how did you come in without a wedding garment?'

But he was reduced to silence. Then the King said to his attendants, 'Bind his hands and feet,

and cast him into the darkness outside, where there will be wailing and grinding of teeth.'

Many are invited, but few are chosen."

(end of Gospel Reading)

Seemingly, the King in the story is God. Some people were entitled to come (frequently, Jesus meant the Jewish people), but they didn’t come. Some even went on to kill the King’s messengers (like prophets?). 

Then, “The servants went out into the streets and gathered all they found, bad and good alike,

and the hall was filled with guests.”  Lots of people at the wedding feast!!! And some were bad (not sure who might be harmful when gathered off the streets).

But, the King takes umbrage at just one man - not wearing the appropriate wedding garment. Somehow, that surprises me - just ONE didn’t have the right clothes. The servants got these people off the streets - did the people all run home and change clothes before showing up? 

There seems to be a disconnect here - the people off the streets come in - and all but one are okay.  

If this is a parable about heaven, and the servants went out and got gentiles (like us - and others off the street - that could even mean that Hindus, Muslims, Buddhists, Atheists, etc. could be in the crowd - and Christians).  

What was wrong with the one person? Wrong clothes?  

Matthew 6: 28 to 31 says, “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon was dressed like one of these in all his splendor. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?

Can it really be “CLOTHES”?

 My brothers and sisters, believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ must not show favoritism. Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in filthy old clothes also comes in. If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, “Here’s a good seat for you,” but say to the poor man, “You stand there” or “Sit on the floor by my feet,” have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? (James 2:1-4)

There had to be something more in this parable. Did the King (God) somehow know that the man’s heart wasn’t pure? “You’re not dressed properly” might mean that while your exterior clothes are good enough, your interior “clothes” (heart/attitude) aren’t fit to be in the King’s presence. 

Psalm 103: “The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.” But, in this case, there must have been something in the King’s analysis that said that being gracious and merciful is not appropriate.

It is not the exterior that impresses God but our internal thoughts.  

Maybe I need to be more “kind and merciful”!! Perhaps I need to follow my advice and let LOVE WIN in my heart and mind!!

LOVE WINS

LOVE TRANSFORMS

KAREN ANNE WHITE, © OCTOBER 20, 2023

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 19, 2023 - MEMORIES

 THURSDAY, OCTOBER 19, 2023 - MEMORIES:

One of my senior friends I see twice weekly is 97 years old.  She is mainly non-verbal.  I wanted to help her “count her blessings.”  I tried to bring up a memory and let her think of it.  

I asked, “Do you remember growing up in Kansas City?”

“Do you remember your wedding to Ross?”

“Do you remember the birth of Larry?”

And … additional things that I know of her life.

I wanted to take a “trip down memory lane.”  With her non-verbal skills, I have no idea if she remembered.  

But that got me thinking about memories.  I’ve challenged myself to have at least one significant memory each year.  This year, my big memory (so far, anyway) is the trip to Big Bend National Park.  Last year, I remember going to Ashland, Oregon, for their Pride Parade and meeting my cousin.  Last year, it was finding three more state high points, camping in a tent on my trip, and attending the Nebraska State Fair.  The year before (2021) was my week in Houston, Texas.  2020 had COVID - and a lot of walking.  (and more).

I want something like - in 1986, my memory is <something>.  (Actually, in 1986, I completed my coursework for my Ph.D. at the University of Nebraska.) 

I found this source to help create great memories. (https://www.ninagruenewald.com/articles/richer-life-10-ways-to-create-happy-memories) 

Make the memory new and exciting.  We remember things like our first kiss, our wedding, and our time in Europe. When planning a trip or event, what can you do to make it “new and exciting?”

****

Make the memory multisensory - what were the smells of Amsterdam? The tastes?  Spend the money and take a boat on the Amsterdam canals.  Do you get lost?  Did you smell the street vendors with pretzels?  Did you ride a bike?  Did you hike up the stairs of the capitol building??

My trip to Black Mesa, Oklahoma, was my first trip there. My tent was new.  I had set it up once in the yard by my apartment (to ensure I had everything).  On my one night there, I viewed the night sky with myriad stars.  It was like I could reach out and touch them.  The next day, I hiked the trail to the high point of Oklahoma and met new “friends” who were blocking the trail (and not getting out of my way.  Their only comment to me was “Moo.” And they left some interesting “things” on the trail (“cowpies”).  

Don’t just visit - but “experience” to really make a memory.  

*****

Be in the moment - pay attention.  Don’t think of the past or the future.  This is NOW.  Enjoy TODAY.  I know that sometimes I am thinking ahead, not thinking of the current memory maker.

I was thinking of returning to the Interstate Highway after driving 15 miles on gravel roads to reach Panorama Point, Nebraska.  I also was concerned that the actual high point might have buffalo roaming around (it was in open grassland).  

I needed to stop and think - “Hey Karen, this is one of the highlights of this year.  Look at that buffalo herd. Can you imagine homesteading out here?  Can you smell the buffalo?  Can you smell the grass?”.

*****

Connect with others to make a memory special. The two hours spent with my cousin and her husband on my trip to Oregon were exceptional.  

In that I spend a lot of time alone, I need to consider my friends as I do things like going to Mighty Fine Burgers with my friend Rita.  We’ve laughed at that event several times. She ordered the biggest burger, with onion rings and a shake, and then was overwhelmed by the feast. (We were remembering the old Alka-Seltzer commercial where the character is saying, “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing”). Definitely a memory-making experience.

*****

Add emotions to the memory for a more significant impact.  I remember holding my twin grandchildren for the first time - one in each arm - with happy tears streaming down my face.  (I’m also glad this was a multi-sensory experience - tears, holding - and I have a picture from that moment.

I’ve learned that crying is not a bad thing - either good or bad.  (Two months ago, I cried during the live performance of The Sound of Music.  I’m sitting in my seat blubbering!!!  (But not loudly).

*****

My last memory maker for today is Struggle, achieve, celebrate.  On Labor Day, 2004, I did a half-marathon.  The whole concept was one of struggle.  I got leg cramps about mile 10. I did achieve the goal.  And (maybe part of the bittersweet memory), I didn’t get to celebrate much!!!  I finished before three others at the back of the pack.  By the time I returned to the park where we started - where they had beer and bread for finishers, the refreshment tents were being taken down.  No celebration for me - other than in my brain - the sweat, tears, struggle to complete this major milestone!! 

This year - intentionally create some memories!!!

LOVE WINS

LOVE TRANSFORMS

KAREN ANNE WHITE, ©, OCTOBER 19, 2023

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 18, 2023 - MISTAKES WERE MADE

 WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 18, 2023 - HATE IS FLOURISHING IN TEXAS

Almost all of today’s blog comes from the Austin Statemen Newspaper (online):

<All quoted>

Bridget Grumet - Austin American-Statesman - October 16, 2023

“A serious blunder.”

“Mistakes were made.”

For a moment there, you might forget Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick is talking about the leader of a major conservative group — the Defend Texas Liberty PAC that gave millions of dollars to Patrick and other GOP figures — meeting for nearly 7 hours with a notorious white supremacist, Nick Fuentes, a man who has spoken admiringly of Hitler and stirs paranoid fears of a “white genocide.”

After the revelations of this month's sit-down came to light, Patrick said Fuentes' views have "no place in Texas politics." But no hard feelings against the head of Defend Texas Liberty. Patrick said he saw “no reason” to hand back the $3 million he accepted from the PAC this summer “in good faith.”

Defend Texas Liberty PAC leader Jonathan Stickland, the frontman for the wealthiest conservative donors in Texas, held that meeting because he thought he might dredge something politically useful from the fetid hate swamp of white supremacy.

And Fuentes came to Texas, thinking folks here might welcome some of his toxic ideas.

Texas has a growing problem with hatred and extremism. We can’t write it off as the actions of a fringe. We can’t minimize these moments as a blunder or a mistake.

Weeks before Fuentes’ infamous visit, a new Anti-Defamation League report documented the rise of intolerance in Texas in alarming detail:

Border vigilantes menacing migrants. Neo-Nazis shouting down people at drag events. Acts of antisemitism right here in Austin, from a swastika keyed into a car to a rock hurled through the window of a home displaying a menorah to the 2021 arson attack at Congregation Beth Israel.

Texas bears several ignoble distinctions, the ADL report notes. We’re the home of the largest number of militant Oath Keepers, the state with the greatest volume of white supremacist propaganda, and the home base for the second-largest number of people arrested in connection with the Jan. 6 insurrection.

These are different from the kinds of lists any state wants to top.

Yet our Republican-led Legislature champions policies that undergird intolerance: Book bans that primarily target LGBTQ+ authors and writers of color. Limits on history lessons that silence difficult discussions about race—elimination of diversity, equity, and inclusion programs. Fiercely gerrymandered maps leave people of color with less voice, even as they represent a growing portion of our state's population.

And while the migrant crisis at the border poses a very real challenge, the response of Texas leaders has capitalized on cruelty. Gov. Greg Abbott brags of unspooling razor wire by the mile and busing unsuspecting migrants to faraway cities, using their exhausted bodies to make a political point.

The political rhetoric around the border is dangerously dehumanizing, with Abbott continuing to decry an “invasion” and Patrick asserting in 2021 that Democrats are waging a “silent revolution” by allowing so many immigrants into the country.

"This is trying to take over our country without firing a shot,” Patrick said on Fox News two years ago, evoking the same ominous chords of the “great replacement theory” espoused by extremists like Fuentes, who believe there is a concerted effort to replace white Americans.

Yet last week also brought a powerful split-screen moment: While Fuentes’ visit raised the specter of hatred in our midst, the horrific attacks on Israel prompted Texas leaders to stand righteously, decisively for persecuted people half a world away.

“Let me be clear: Texas stands with Israel and its right to defend itself against the war criminals who unleashed this mayhem,” Abbott said at a solidarity event Monday evening at Congregation Agudas Achim in Austin.

The governor made $4 million available for enhanced security at synagogues and other Jewish organizations in Texas, and he honored the victims by ordering Texas flags to be flown at half-staff. The newly created Texas Holocaust, Genocide, and Antisemitism Advisory Commission stands ready “to combat and confront hatred, prejudice, and indifference.”

When I followed up with Abbott’s office about extremism here and abroad, the governor provided a statement via email: “Nick Fuentes and his abhorrent antisemitic views are not welcome in Texas. Texas will always stand with Israel and our Jewish neighbors here at home and across the world.”

That’s a crucial start, denouncing Fuentes and other peddlers of hate. But our state has work to do in fostering tolerance and a welcoming place for all Texans.

Grumet is the Statesman’s Metro columnist. Her column, ATX in Context, contains her opinions. Share yours via email at bgrumet@statesman.com or via Twitter at @bgrumet. 

*****

<End of quoted text>

There is hatred on both American major political parties.  There is hatred in the Middle East.  There is hatred between Russia and Ukraine.

I do have some minor disagreement with Ms. Grumet. Because you associate with a person doesn't mean that their viewpoints will be discussed.  Nick Fuentes might be a great person to spend time with. I'm very slow to label somebody as a White Supremacist and what that entails.

My community (Georgetown, Texas) is having its first-ever Pride Event on October 26th. One of the organizations sponsoring this event is PFLAG, whose motto is “LOVE IS LOVE.” 

It seems like humans like to have scapegoats to blame things on.  Hitler was able to blame the Jews for problems in Germany.  Texas blames immigrants on our southern border for taking away our jobs. And, if it isn’t immigrants, it is those LGBTQ people - perverting our country.  

Change is inevitable.  LOVE WINNING is inevitable (at least in my mind).

Toleration, acceptance, love, forgiveness, reconciliation, communication, and understanding - are all excellent terms for getting along.  

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others; it is not self-seeking; it is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

And now, these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Bible - 1 Corinthians 13 excerpts

LOVE WINS

LOVE TRANSFORMS

KAREN ANNE WHITE, ©, OCTOBER 18, 2023

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 17, 2023 - PETS

 TUESDAY, OCTOBER 17, 2023 - THE VALUE OF PETS

I’ve had lots of “pets” in my life. I’ve been a “teacher’s pet” and had students that met that role. I’ve had “pet peeves”. I’ve even had my “pet projects.” But I’ve never had an animal pet.  

Growing up, we generally didn’t have pets. I don’t remember the story, but we had a pet guinea pig for a month. (Maybe it was over Christmas Break, and the poor animal would be alone at school). We called the guinea pig “Zeke”. Yes, we had to feed it, give it water, and clean its cage. Eventually, Zeke went back to school.

Now, as a senior, most of my friends have pets. So why am I writing about pets? Because my neighbor Bonnie lost her pet chihuahua Molly. Two days ago, I got a call from Bonnie while I was at church that Molly had died. After church, I stopped at Bonnie’s apartment. She was in tears. Bonnie lives alone, and Molly was her constant companion. Bonnie spoke to Molly as though Molly was a human.  

Bonnie’s daughter, son-in-law, grandson, friend Kathy, and I were in Bonnie’s living room. Molly was in a dog bed covered with a blanket. Angie, Bonnie’s daughter, had arranged for a pet cremation service to take Molly’s body to be cremated. The pet service man came, and Bonnie asked me to pray. [Aside from that, I might be spiritual, but haven’t prayed at a pet funeral before.]

It was devastating for Bonnie. Fourteen years with your best friend, and then death leaves a mark.

Losing a pet can be devastating. A study found that the length of intense grief experienced by bereaved pet owners varies —with 25 % taking between 3 months to a year, 50% between one year and 19 months, and 25 % between two and six years. It’s no wonder that pet loss therapy is an emerging field.

*****

So, what is the value of pets?

https://www.transitionslifecare.org/2020/05/27/the-importance-of-pets-in-our-lives/ gives these comments:

Pets are good for our health. Molly (as a dog) needed to be walked to eliminate her bodily waste. That got Bonnie out of her apartment, out in the fresh air, to take some steps and walk. My source says, “If you spend around 15 minutes petting your favorite cat or dog, your body will release the following natural “feel good” hormones: oxytocin, prolactin, and serotonin. It also lowers your cortisol, the body’s natural stress hormone. Not only will this relax your body, it can also lower your blood pressure by 10% too.” 

I see four other pets regularly. My friend Mary has a dog and a cat. The cat has little personality, but the dog is Mary’s little Princess.  Kiki (the cat) climbs up on Mary’s lap. If behavior can be learned, Kiki is a whiz. She knows how to “work an audience.” When I visit, Kiki knows that I will give her a treat. (Or, Kiki knows Mary will ask me to provide her with a treat). She puts on her “broken leg” routine - where she walks with one broken front leg. You know it is a routine - sometimes it is Kiki’s left leg, and sometimes her right leg. Kiki can be a pretty good beggar, and I try to give her just part of the treat at a time. I move her treat from hand to hand, and she has to guess which hand the treat is in.  

Kiki is a fierce defender of Mary - but also a “scary cat.” She might like to chase squirrels, but if a squirrel challenges her, she’ll run and hide behind Mary’s legs. And when a thunderstorm rolls through, Kiki will want Mary’s protection.  

***

The article adds: “Animals do not ask for much in life, and most just need a warm, safe and sheltered place to live, as well as adequate food, water and exercise. They will give you unconditional love, loyalty, and companionship in return. Dogs are a little more well-known for offering unconditional love; cats can be fickle!

Mary’s cat is on the fickle side. There are times when Fritz will want his belly rubbed and his fur stroked, but rarely.  

One of my other friends, Rita, has two cats. One of the cats (Gabe) is gregarious and will be around when I visit (and the other cat, “Mom,” will be under Rita’s bed when I visit). Gabe likes his belly scratched and his head rubbed.  

Rita lives in a third-floor apartment with a balcony. When she got her cats, she closed the balcony door as she didn’t want the cats to fall (or jump) from the balcony. But that hasn’t happened. Gabe loves to sit in the sun and enjoy the breeze.  

*****

Let’s hit a topic again. Pets give unconditional love. I write about love. Humans put boundaries and conditions on love. “If you do <such and such>, I’ll love you.” Particularly with dogs, there is unconditional love. Even if you scold a dog for having an “accident” inside, in a few minutes, that incident is forgotten (on their part), and they want to be petted and loved. 

***

There is a joke - maybe not quite funny - that I am adding.

A man put his wife in the trunk of a sedan and drove around for an hour. When he opens the trunk, the wife gets out, yells at him, swears at him, and maybe even slaps the man.

The man then put his dog in the trunk and drove for an hour. When he opened the trunk, the dog’s tail started going 100 miles an hour, and the dog loved the man.  

Supposedly, the moral of this story (and it is just a story) is that “dogs are man’s best friend.”

*****

Note to myself. I need to help fill Bonnie’s life with some activities in the coming days and months. Her best friend has died and left a massive void in her life. I need to be a source of love and grace for her.

LOVE WINS

LOVE TRANSFORMS

KAREN ANNE WHITE, © OCTOBER 17,2023 

MONDAY, OCTOBER 16, 2023 - FALLS

 MONDAY, OCTOBER 16, 2023 - SENIOR FALLS

Scene - It is Fall, and Betty needs to get her cooler weather clothes down from the shelves in her closet. She has a step stool. She gets a box with some sweaters down and puts it on her bed. The next box has some long-sleeved tops. It is just a little farther - but Betty gets on her step stool and reaches. She loses her balance and falls. She lays on the floor in her closet for a few minutes and then tries to get up. Ouch. That is painful. Her left leg is not functioning.  

Did she break her leg? Did the Fall break her hip? Can she get to a phone and call her neighbor to come over?

Let’s assume Betty can crawl to her desk, get to her phone, and call 911. Let’s also assume she doesn’t pass out and die on the floor of her closet. (Both of those options are real).

The EMTs somehow get into Betty’s house (she had the front door locked with the deadbolt). 

Betty goes to the hospital - she has a broken hip. She had a painful surgery to fix her hip. For the next several weeks, Betty gets physical therapy. She can’t drive. She uses a walker to get around. 

*****

So, let’s go back to the scenario. Betty reaches too far and falls. Humans (and seniors) think we can sometimes do more than we should. Maybe Betty should wait until her daughter comes in a few days to get the rest of the fall and winter clothes down - and the summer clothes put away.  

The adage “Discretion is the better part of valor” comes to mind. It is better to avoid a dangerous situation than risk bodily harm. 

Statistics show that more than one in four people aged 65 fall each year. The risk of falling — and fall-related problems — rises with age. However, many falls can be prevented. For example, exercising, managing your medications, checking your vision, and making your home safer are steps to prevent a fall.

But, many older people - even if they haven’t fallen - have heard about the dangers of failing. So they avoid situations where they might fall. They avoid exercise. They become recluses in their own homes.  

Some suggestions to prepare for falling:

Take care of your overall health.  

If you take care of your overall health.

Stay physically active. The local recreation center in my community has “Silver Sneaker” programs, yoga, and other programs to stay active. My Medicare insurance company coverage pays me ten dollars if I walk at least three miles for at least ten days. (My goal is at least three miles EVERY DAY). 

Regular exercise improves muscles and makes you stronger. Exercise also helps keep your joints, tendons, and ligaments flexible. Walking or climbing stairs and even appropriate weight lifting may slow bone loss from osteoporosis.

Try balance and strength training exercises. Yoga, Pilates, and tai chi can all improve balance and muscle strength. You can also try lifting weights or using resistance bands to build strength.   Even if you haven’t done weights or strengthening exercises, get started (preferably at a gym or fitness center where somebody can help you). 

Fall-proof your home. Are there throw rugs that can trip you? Do you have support bars in your bathroom - in the shower and beside your toilet? If bending over is problematic, get a tool to pick things off the floor. 

Have your eyes and hearing tested. Research shows that changes in sight and hearing are linked to an increased fall risk. When you get new eyeglasses or contact lenses, get used to them. New glasses might cause you to fall. Wear your glasses or contacts as your eye doctor advises. If you have a hearing aid, be sure it fits well and wear it.

Get enough sleep - but not too much. A good balance of sleep (most experts say between 7 and 9 hours a night) will refresh your body. And thinking of sleep, try to make it an appreciated sleep - after some good exercise in the day. Sleeping pills might help but don’t take sleeping pills every day. Alcohol can make you sleep - but it also can keep you from reaching the REM stage, and you will awake, not entirely rested. 

The mental aspect of not falling is also important. Don’t be like Betty in the example. If you can’t reach it off your closet shelf, have a friend help you. (And - having a friend over for coffee is a great social event, which is also positive.

Get robust and fit - but be smart about it.  

You may need a cane for stability - or even a walker. Falling (like the example) can result in death as you lay on the floor with a broken hip. You may get a “LifeAlert” type of safety device on a cord around your neck. If you fall and aren’t close to a phone, you can press the LifeAlert button and get help!!

Seniors - falls aren’t good. (Or - If you have Fall - you might also call it Autumn).  

Children and friends of seniors check up on your parents and friends. Help them maintain a fall-free life!!!

LOVE WINS
LOVE TRANSFORMS
KAREN ANNE WHITE, ©, OCTOBER 16, 2023