THURSDAY, OCTOBER 19, 2023 - MEMORIES

 THURSDAY, OCTOBER 19, 2023 - MEMORIES:

One of my senior friends I see twice weekly is 97 years old.  She is mainly non-verbal.  I wanted to help her “count her blessings.”  I tried to bring up a memory and let her think of it.  

I asked, “Do you remember growing up in Kansas City?”

“Do you remember your wedding to Ross?”

“Do you remember the birth of Larry?”

And … additional things that I know of her life.

I wanted to take a “trip down memory lane.”  With her non-verbal skills, I have no idea if she remembered.  

But that got me thinking about memories.  I’ve challenged myself to have at least one significant memory each year.  This year, my big memory (so far, anyway) is the trip to Big Bend National Park.  Last year, I remember going to Ashland, Oregon, for their Pride Parade and meeting my cousin.  Last year, it was finding three more state high points, camping in a tent on my trip, and attending the Nebraska State Fair.  The year before (2021) was my week in Houston, Texas.  2020 had COVID - and a lot of walking.  (and more).

I want something like - in 1986, my memory is <something>.  (Actually, in 1986, I completed my coursework for my Ph.D. at the University of Nebraska.) 

I found this source to help create great memories. (https://www.ninagruenewald.com/articles/richer-life-10-ways-to-create-happy-memories) 

Make the memory new and exciting.  We remember things like our first kiss, our wedding, and our time in Europe. When planning a trip or event, what can you do to make it “new and exciting?”

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Make the memory multisensory - what were the smells of Amsterdam? The tastes?  Spend the money and take a boat on the Amsterdam canals.  Do you get lost?  Did you smell the street vendors with pretzels?  Did you ride a bike?  Did you hike up the stairs of the capitol building??

My trip to Black Mesa, Oklahoma, was my first trip there. My tent was new.  I had set it up once in the yard by my apartment (to ensure I had everything).  On my one night there, I viewed the night sky with myriad stars.  It was like I could reach out and touch them.  The next day, I hiked the trail to the high point of Oklahoma and met new “friends” who were blocking the trail (and not getting out of my way.  Their only comment to me was “Moo.” And they left some interesting “things” on the trail (“cowpies”).  

Don’t just visit - but “experience” to really make a memory.  

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Be in the moment - pay attention.  Don’t think of the past or the future.  This is NOW.  Enjoy TODAY.  I know that sometimes I am thinking ahead, not thinking of the current memory maker.

I was thinking of returning to the Interstate Highway after driving 15 miles on gravel roads to reach Panorama Point, Nebraska.  I also was concerned that the actual high point might have buffalo roaming around (it was in open grassland).  

I needed to stop and think - “Hey Karen, this is one of the highlights of this year.  Look at that buffalo herd. Can you imagine homesteading out here?  Can you smell the buffalo?  Can you smell the grass?”.

*****

Connect with others to make a memory special. The two hours spent with my cousin and her husband on my trip to Oregon were exceptional.  

In that I spend a lot of time alone, I need to consider my friends as I do things like going to Mighty Fine Burgers with my friend Rita.  We’ve laughed at that event several times. She ordered the biggest burger, with onion rings and a shake, and then was overwhelmed by the feast. (We were remembering the old Alka-Seltzer commercial where the character is saying, “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing”). Definitely a memory-making experience.

*****

Add emotions to the memory for a more significant impact.  I remember holding my twin grandchildren for the first time - one in each arm - with happy tears streaming down my face.  (I’m also glad this was a multi-sensory experience - tears, holding - and I have a picture from that moment.

I’ve learned that crying is not a bad thing - either good or bad.  (Two months ago, I cried during the live performance of The Sound of Music.  I’m sitting in my seat blubbering!!!  (But not loudly).

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My last memory maker for today is Struggle, achieve, celebrate.  On Labor Day, 2004, I did a half-marathon.  The whole concept was one of struggle.  I got leg cramps about mile 10. I did achieve the goal.  And (maybe part of the bittersweet memory), I didn’t get to celebrate much!!!  I finished before three others at the back of the pack.  By the time I returned to the park where we started - where they had beer and bread for finishers, the refreshment tents were being taken down.  No celebration for me - other than in my brain - the sweat, tears, struggle to complete this major milestone!! 

This year - intentionally create some memories!!!

LOVE WINS

LOVE TRANSFORMS

KAREN ANNE WHITE, ©, OCTOBER 19, 2023