FRIDAY, JUNE 2, 2023 IMPOSTER SYNDROME

 FRIDAY, JUNE 2, 2023 IMPOSTER SYNDROME

I’m not sure if this is true of everybody, or if it is something that has its claws into me.

There have been times when I am insecure - and I start to question myself.  Maybe it goes back to the first day of college - “Imagine me - am I really a college student?”.

Or my first day of teaching, “Here I am - acting as if I belong here.  Don’t these kids know that just five years ago I was just like them?”

How about when I became a college professor?  “Pinch me - is this really me?”

I was really insecure when I became a college dean.  I was 37 years old and somehow I’m a college dean?  How could that be?

There is a statement “Fake it until you make it”.

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Sometimes this spills over into the spiritual realm.  

“How can I really be a child of God?”  How can God ever love such a loser like me?   C’mon now.  God is perfect - super perfect - infinitely perfect, and, well, I’m so far from perfect.  

If God is so perfect, He must be nuts to adopt me!!!

“The Spirit you received does not make you slaves so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him, we cry, “Abba, Father.” Roman 8:15.  

As I understand (or have been told over the years), crying “Abba Father” is like saying “Daddy”.  

But, how can He love me?  Doesn’t He really know how black my heart is?  Doesn’t He know my every thought? Isn’t He all-knowing?  Doesn’t He know that even though I say “LOVE WINS”, there is still some judgment going on in my brain? Doesn’t He see my lusting, my evil thoughts, my avoidance of giving a drink to the thirsty, and food to the hungry?   

Yes, I’m an imposter!!!

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There are some things that I might be an imposter in.  Can I really say “I’m a woman?”; Can I say “I’m a musician”? Can I say “I’m a basketball player?”

Philippians 3:

“ What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord

“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.  Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

My rational mind says “Yes, I know that Christ died for me, that wiped away my sins, that gave me a new life”, my irrational brain says, “It can’t be, It can’t be.  God doesn’t waste His time dealing with low-life scum.”

And, Romans 8 (again)

“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

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So, if God is for me, who can be against me?

THANKS BE TO GOD!!

LOVE WINS
LOVE TRANSFORMS (and can and has transformed me)

KAW, ©, June 2, 2023

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So, go ahead, call me “sir”, say I’m a freak because of my “gender mutation”, and ignore me as if I don’t exist.  Treat me like dirt - that’s all okay - because somebody more important than you or I loves me - and that somebody is “GOD”!!