THURSDAY, JUNE 15, 2023 - PRIDE WEEK #4

 THURSDAY, JUNE 15, 2023 - PRIDE WEEK #4

June is Pride Month - an event for LGBTQ people - and really all people.  This week I’ve written on some of my views (including some of the surprises of being a woman at age 70)

First a little diversion.  “Black Like Me” was written in 1961 by John Howard Griffin.

"What is it like to experience discrimination based on skin color, something over which one has no control?" No white man could, he reasoned, truly understand what it was like to be black, because black people would never tell the truth to outsiders. "The only way I could see to bridge the gap between us was to become a Negro," Griffin writes. "I decided I would do this."

So, in 1961, John Griffin had his skin darkened and traveled to the southern United States to understand what life was like for a black man.

I’ve written that we need to “walk a mile in their shoes” (seemingly that is derived from Native American culture of walking a mile in their moccasins). 

For the past 4.5 years, I have been walking many, many miles as a woman.  I am legally, socially, politically, and physically a woman.  

These are some additional views from my transition.

It has been a wild ride.  There were so many things I didn’t know about females.  Early on, I didn’t know the difference between vulva and vagina.  The Bible says ‘We are wonderfully made’ and I am amazed at what God put into men and women.  

I am SO GLAD I have experienced this. I think it would be awesome for all people to experience different gender issues.  (Aside, I read about a couple with a virtual reality session where the man got to experience being a female - with periods, sex, and more; and likewise where the women experienced being a male. )

*****

Overall I’ve been accepted as a woman but with some major exceptions.  My children have not accepted me. I regret that dearly. I hope that someday we will reconcile - before I die.

Some (many?) people have welcomed me into the “sisterhood” with open arms.  Some have said I am an idiot (or some similar term).  For over two years every Saturday morning, I attended a Bible Study at an evangelical church in Round Rock.  I enjoyed the sharing.  I knew I was “different” but I was accepted (so I thought).

One Saturday morning I showed up and two pastors came rushing to meet me and said they would pray for my “deliverance” - huh?  They believed I needed to be delivered from “thinking” I was a female.  

I said “NO”, and got away.  The other day I quoted Hamlet “There is nothing good or bad but thinking makes it so”.  They thought I was deranged, demented, and maybe even demon-possessed.  (I also quoted that the ACLU had identified 491 anti-LGBTQ legislative actions that had been introduced by state legislative bodies.) 

The concept of gender dysphoria, of transitioning from one gender to another is very openly debated.  I have experienced God’s love - as a man - and as a woman.  I’m happy!!  (I did a lot of serious prayers before I acted on this!!!)

*****

And, so other things

MAKE-UP

I’m still learning make-up.  I generally do three things:  lips, eyebrows, and cheeks.  I don’t know how it happens - but I get lipstick on my teeth!!  So, I’m learning to check my teeth in my car mirror before I get out.  

Mascara is still hard to put on eyelashes.  It doesn’t look good.

I had my eyebrows threaded once. I find I can also cut back on the wildness of the eyebrows with one of my old electric razors.  

I haven’t liked using an electric shaver, so I’ve gone with Harry’s razor and I get a clean shave.  For the past two months, I’ve been using an IPL (Intense Pulsed Light) product (Nood seems to be the most popular brand).  For about five minutes a day, I zap my face which supposedly kills the hair follicles.  I haven’t been as diligent as I should be clear by now, but it has definitely worked.  I shave my legs and armpits.  

PASSING

I guess I haven’t worried too much about “passing” as a female.  Some transgender women do voice lessons.  With my aorta surgery, my voice was affected anyway.  

I try to look good.  I do get too many “Yes Sir, can I help you” from clerks (note to clerks - if a person has a dress or a skirt, earrings, and make-up, it is probably best not to use a gender identifier like “sir”).  

With four years of hormones, my boobs, and my butt seem to be reasonable, so I don’t worry about that.  Some transgender women also get breast implants, but my budget didn’t allow for that. 

IDENTIFICATION

To be officially identified as a female, I needed four pieces of documentation - two medical doctors, and two counselors.  I submitted that to the Travis County Family Court and it was approved.

I got an official driver's license the next day.  So I am officially Karen Anne White. I haven’t traveled abroad and wasn’t thinking I would but did officially get my Passport changed.

I changed my social security accounts, bank accounts, credit card accounts, and many other things.

I didn’t change my credit bureau statements.  When I went to replace my old car it took some doing to be approved for a loan.  Since then, my credit has been very strong.  

SMALL TALK

I find myself being very quiet when I’m with a group of female friends.  My Granny Basketball team is very accepting of me.  My bridge group is generally accepting of me.  

Two weeks ago, my granny basketball team had an end-of-season potluck dinner.  When talk of children and grandchildren occurred, I was quiet.  There have been a few times when somebody talks of labor and giving birth, or of having menopause, and I’m just quiet.  

I have told those groups of my LOVE WINS attitude and belief.  

There are others - such as jewelry - that I have learned.  It has been an amazing, awesome, fantastic experience for me.  Please don’t judge me until you’ve walked a mile in my shoes!!!

******

I have “walked a mile” (several miles and several years) now as a female.  I won’t go back (and in some respects I can’t go back.  I don’t want the EGO and JUDGMENTAL problems I had.  I want to LOVE, I HAVE to LOVE!!!

This is fantastic.  

LOVE WINS

LOVE TRANSFORMS

KAREN ANNE WHITE, © JUNE 15, 2023