FRIDAY, APRIL 7, 2023 - GOOD FRIDAY AND MOBS

 FRIDAY, APRIL 7, 2023 - GOOD FRIDAY

Mobs have an interesting dynamic. The definition of a mob is a large crowd of people, especially one that is disorderly and intent on causing trouble or violence. Like "a mob of protesters".

I’ve seen mobs (mostly on television or videos) - like the mob on January 6th storming the Capitol.  We’ve seen mobs on the streets - especially after George Floyd’s death - protesting police brutality.  (There even are mobs at sporting events yelling “Kill the refs”.)

There is a concept called Mob Mentality:

“Mob mentality -- also called herd or hive mentality -- is the inclination that some humans have to be part of a large group, often neglecting their individual feelings in the process, and adopting the behaviors and actions of the people around them.”

While you might not agree with the mob, your voice isn’t heard.  You get caught up in the fervor of the day and of the mob.  You might suspect if you say “no”, that you might be attacked.  

Aside, I was at a pro football game in Minnesota.  In our seating section, there were rabid Minnesota Viking fans, many in Viking jerseys, and what appeared to be a dad with his son cheering for the Indianapolis Colts - and both in Colt jerseys.  Some Viking fans were getting pretty drunk and started harassing the dad and son.  If the Colts had a good play, the Viking fans would boo and direct the boos at the dad and son.  Some fan dumped his beer on the dad and their friends around them cheered.  C’mon folks - the dad and son were just fans watching their team.  There was absolutely no reason to harass them and even less to drench them in warm beer. But, the mob mentality was real.  I thought about standing up between the drunk Viking fans and the dad/son in the Colt Jerseys who were being harassed - but I didn’t act.  So I was complacent in the actions of others.

I was in a mob once.  I was a graduate student when the Vietnam War was raging.  There was a rally on campus and like many students, I was there.  It started with a few speakers condemning the war and napalm bombing.  After a few of the speakers, the group listening started to get riled up.  “STOP THE WAR”.  Then the mob got unruly and the city brought out the firetrucks and sprayed high-pressure water on the group and soon it dispersed.  In other situations, police groups use tear gas to break up the demonstration.  

Mobs can be dangerous.  With some of the Black Lives Matter, some threw stones at the police.  Some threw rocks through store windows and there was looting.  I’m sure the organizers were hoping for a peaceful assembly, but mobs (and occasionally some embedded thugs) can change quickly. The mob that stormed the capitol building on January 6, 2021, killed and injured several.

In some Western stories, mobs show up at the jail to lynch the accused person and hang him.  “Vigilante justice”.  

I’ve been reading “Candy Bombers” - about the Berlin Airlift.  The book describes some of the mob scenes where communists infiltrated the groups and yelled for violence.  Likewise, there are rallies where Hitler came to power.  The rational voices were silenced and hate took over.

*****

Today as Good Friday, I think of the mob that gathered that day years ago.  Seemingly Pilate didn’t really want to crucify Jesus, but the mob (supposedly with the encouragement of the Jewish leadership), yelled “Crucify, crucify”.  Pilate got backed into a corner and finally said “His blood will be on your hands”, and the mob yelled “Crucify” ever louder.  

How would you act in the middle of a mob?  In this case - would you say “No, don’t crucify Him”.  How would the mob act towards you?  Would you be stoned?  Would they beat you?  Would they listen to you? (I don’t think so). I anticipate that many in the crowd were good people.  Many would have heard Jesus’ messages and believed in the message - but they were silenced because of the animosity of the crowd yelling “Crucify”.

So, the mob succeeded that day.  

I was thinking of the Sandi Patty song, Via Dolorosa:

“Down the Via Dolorosa in Jerusalem that day

The soldiers tried to clear the narrow street

But the crowd pressed in to see

The man condemned to die on Calvary

He was bleeding from a beating, there were stripes upon His back

And He wore a crown of thorns upon His head

And He bore with every step

The scorn of those who cried out for His death

Down the Via Dolorosa called the way of suffering

Like a lamb came the Messiah, Christ the King

But He chose to walk that road out of

His love for you and me

Down the Via Dolorosa, all the way to Calvary”

*****

Definitely, a mob scene crowding in to see a man led to his death.

*****

How can I stand up to injustice?  How can YOU stand up to injustice?  Are you able to protest injustice peacefully?  Are you willing to be a voice of reason when “hotheads” are screaming in your face?  

Are there times to stand by quietly and let injustice win?  Are there times you MUST be involved?  

Will you stand in front of an unruly group and say “STOP”?  Would you do this even if the crowd turns on you and attacks you (and even kills you)?  

Are there times to stand up for something even if it means personal injury to yourself

*****

Some people today will observe the “stations of the cross” - following Jesus’ walk to his death.  He carries a heavy cross-beam that will be lifted into place after He is nailed to that cross-beam.  

As I understand it, crucifixion is a painful death.  Death by hanging or firing squad is quick - crucifixion can take hours as a person can’t breathe out the carbon dioxide that is slowly taking over their lungs.  You press down on your legs to get your head up to breathe in - but doing so is so painful with nails through your feet.  And, in this case, a mob surrounded the walk to the crucifixion yelling and screaming.  

Was it a good day for the human aspect of Jesus?  No.  Was it a good day for the deity of Jesus?  Not obviously, but yes it was.  God was fulfilling a plan - a plan to shed the blood of an ‘innocent lamb’.  Was it a good day for me?  It was a great day for me!!!

*****

I try to avoid mobs, I try not to offend mobs.  If I had to drive through a mob (like crossing a picket line), I probably wouldn’t even try.  

But, maybe I should have a backbone and stand up for my beliefs - even if it means death for me.

What do you think?

LOVE WINS

LOVE TRANSFORMS

KAREN ANNE WHITE, ©, APRIL 7, 2023

THURSDAY, APRIL 6, 2023 OH DEATH WHERE IS THY STING

 THURSDAY, APRIL 6, 2023 OH DEATH WHERE IS THY STING

Today is the first day of Passover 2023 (or year 5783 in the Jewish Calendar).  Passover - or as I want to write it today “the passing over of the angel of death on the houses marked with blood on the doorposts”.

Death - dying - rotting corpses.  In the Jewish story (Exodus 1-10) God tells Moses that he is going to kill the firstborn sons across the land - except for houses that have the lintels coated in blood.  Let’s take that further - so I hear Moses telling me to kill a sheep and smear the blood of the animal on my doorposts.  If it was today, I might have a hard time finding a sheep that I could kill and gather the blood to paint my doorposts.  I might say “Sorry Moses, I’m just not into painting my doors with blood.”  Can you imagine walking around the Jewish sector in a few days with blood smeared on all the houses?  There would be an aroma.  

In Jewish teachings, “In fact, the law requires that nearly everything be cleansed with blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”. Hebrews 9:22.  

Thus in the Christian view of Holy Week, when Jesus shed His blood on the cross, it was even more significant than the Passover.  The shedding of His blood was more than forgiveness, it was a “baptism” that gave us eternal life AND forgiveness.  (That would be a tough act - but Christians believe Jesus had the right credentials to do it).  

DEATH

Death is like a door - or a narrow passageway out of this life.  Some suggest that it will be a waiting period until we are judged by God.  Some suggest like the thief on the other cross “Today you will be with me in Paradise”.  

Time is not relevant to an infinite being (God - He/She/It/The Force/Ohh).  A thousand years - when we are talking infinity - is nothing.  

I guess I’m on the side of saying “I don’t know what really happens after death, but that’s okay.  I don’t really know about landing people on the moon (again), but that’s okay - I don’t need to know.  I need to trust”.  God loves me as his primary love (okay Karen - but I believe that God loves everybody as if they were the only people on Earth and as his primary love).  I’m tied for first place with God (but everybody else is).  I’m a WINNER.  God loves me.

So, whatever happens after death, that’s okay.  I hope (believe) that whatever happens after death, it will be more than fantastic, it will be more than awesome, it will be more wonderful than words can describe - and it is infinite.

*****

So, on this planet (and I’m still thinking about over 8 trillion galaxies, and each galaxy with (maybe) millions of stars, and each star system (maybe) with planets with intelligent life), so on this planet, I have to be yielded to God.

And, on this Holy Week with Holy Thursday (also Maundy Thursday), Good Friday, and Easter Sunday I get a glimpse of the perfection of a Divine Deity that is so far beyond my comprehension.  

And, I will attempt to understand what it all means for me.  But, I will accept that “without the shedding of blood, there is no forgiveness”, but that Jesus did shed His blood for me.  

LOVE WINS

LOVE TRANSFORMS

KAREN ANNE WHITE, APRIL 6, 2023

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 5, 2023 - DEATH -FUNERALS, CREMATION, AND MORE

 WEDNESDAY, APRIL 5, 2023 - DEATH -FUNERALS, CREMATION, AND MORE

My client at my senior housing facility JF - died on Saturday, April 1st.  I saw her on Friday, March 31, 2023.  On that last day, I helped feed her, with another aide, we bathed her in the bed, changed her clothes, and changed her linens. I also prayed with her.  

On Sunday, April 2nd, I stopped by her room, and it was empty.  I met her brother-in-law and sister in the hallway who were cleaning the last few things from her room, and saying thank you to the staff.  

I’ve lost three residents in my year-and-one-half at this job.  Death comes to all of us.  

I am really a stranger to death.  My maternal grandparents died and I wasn’t there; my parents died and I wasn’t there (but my fantastic sister was).  I’ve been to visitations (sometimes called wakes).  I’ve been to funerals, and I’ve heard the words, “I am the resurrection and the life”.  I’ve heard words of encouragement from families and friends.  I’ve been to funerals that were celebrations.  (My parent’s funerals were a celebration of longevity - my mother died at 98 and my father at 97).  

Funerals are very natural events.  It is a “closing of the books” or a “final farewell”.  I don’t imagine it makes much difference to the deceased!!  It allows family and friends to say “goodbye” to the person. Many church funerals (and some funerals at funeral homes) have lunch as a good way to visit with the family and make a comment on how the person affected their life.  At the end of the dinner, the family can retreat someplace and have time for their own reflections.

The family has choices for the funeral.  One of the choices is traditional or cremation.  At one point, some religious traditions said ‘no’ to cremation.  My view is that God - who is all-powerful and knows every person (and every atom) can somehow piece together the pieces if a unified body is needed.  For Christians, there is a thought that we will have a resurrected body.  

For a traditional funeral, families need to pick a casket.  There is an old riddle about caskets -: the man who built it doesn't want it, the man who bought it doesn't need it, and the man who needs it doesn't know it. 

Caskets can be expensive - and only visible for a few hours.  There is a thought that just a pine box would work.  A quick scan showed caskets from $800 and up!!! (There was even a pine box from $900)

Cremation is generally cheaper than a traditional funeral. My research showed this can be as little as about $400 and up.  There is a “direct cremation” when the body is cremated and the ashes are directly returned to the family. There are still considerations - like what type of urn would be the best.  Sometimes urns sit on fireplace mantles or in prominent places in a home.  Sometimes they go into a special box in a cemetery.  (I won’t care - I’ll be dead and gone).

Then it may be that the deceased has ideas for his or her funeral - like music, scripture, who is to give the eulogy?  

I am thinking about Grieg’s Last Spring where the person muses is this the last spring for me (before death), or the finale to Tchaikowsky’s Sixth Symphony - slow and dying off to nothing in the music (and maybe also for me).  Or, Stravinsky’s Firebird where in the finale, the Firebird comes back to glorious life (a resurrection!!!)

I would like (depending on when) to have my children say a few words, and maybe one or two of my grandchildren.

I’m not sure if I want my funeral in a church or a funeral home setting.  I want to be cremated.  Some plan on where their ashes will be.  Maybe on a Quaas family farm in Iowa, maybe on the Dakota State University grounds in Madison South Dakota.  

I have two friends that I helped line up donating their bodies to a university medical school (in this case, Quinnipiac University).  If my body can be used by students that would be good.  I’ve already signed up as an organ donor.  (Does any physician want to use 75-year-old parts?)  I have a thought about donating my tuba (I don’t have an “organ” to donate) to a family where the youngest son would like to play the tuba.

*****

The end result is that a person is dead.  It seems fitting to recognize this fact, have a service of some nature and finalize the relationship of this person to this earth.

Do you have plans for your funeral?  Are they specified in your will?  

LOVE WINS

LOVE TRANSFORMS

KAREN ANNE WHITE, ©, APRIL 5, 2023

TUESDAY, APRIL 4, 2023 - DEATH AND DYING AND WILLS

TUESDAY, APRIL 4, 2023 - DEATH AND DYING AND WILLS

Yes, we are all going to die.  If you are going on a trip, you develop plans.  If you are going to die, shouldn’t you develop a plan?

Some apparent plans might include a will (or trust). Maybe finding a qualified friend or relative to serve as your executor, (not executioner!!).  Do you have assets?  How are you going to pass them on?  Are you going to give money and assets to charity (churches, organizations, foundations)?  I have an endowed scholarship at Dakota State University and my will specifies that some funds will go into the scholarship.  Since I’m not dead yet, I’ve been trying to put money into that account. Some students in the future may say “Thank you, Dr. White, I will try to make good on my scholarship funds.” 

Are you going to give money to your family?  Children, grandchildren?  Be sure to specify the amounts and giving.  (I’m trying to be fair to all five of my grandchildren.)

It seems as if nothing tears up a family more than a will.  I was talking to a friend who mentioned that she was to get a glass slipper from her grandfather’s will and didn’t get it, and that has been in her brain for years. She feels cheated by her brother and doesn’t speak to him. She also mentioned that her eldest brother tried to trick their mother to give him the family home.  

Some seniors seem to like to play games in their will.  Some give more money and gifts to select family members and ignore or slight other family members.  Do children of the original couple come off better than children from a second marriage?  (That is, stepchildren get slighted - or first children get slighted).  Maybe there are some reasons for favoritism in wills.  Child A visited her Mom (or Dad) and took care of her, while child B rarely visited her Mom (or Dad).  

Some try to get in grandpa’s good graces to come out better at the end-of-life distribution of wealth.  In my grandmother’s family which consisted of four women and one male, the male got ownership of the family farm, and the sisters got little.  Of course, for centuries before this, the eldest son inherited the land and the titles.  

Even Biblically, Jacob tricked his twin brother Esau to give away his birthright and blessing.  In my father’s family, the death of my grandfather (and some other issues), caused the family to split with the eldest four separating from the youngest seven children.  I never saw or met my paternal grandmother who moved away from the eldest of four children to a distant state.  Fortunately, I have been able to meet some of my cousins on the White side of my family and reconcile with them.  

*****

Aside - I say “Love Wins” and not “Money Wins”.  Material stuff (houses, land, possessions) are just “stuff”.  Better to avoid fights over ‘stuff’. (My opinion).  

*****

I know some families where the children (and sometimes grandchildren) are asked to pick out mementos that have special meetings to them as an attempt to avoid the in-fighting of “Grandpa (or Grandma) wanted me to get his coin collection (or whatever asset)”.  Like many things in life, communication is important.

It is easy to get biased in families.  Couple A grew up and always attended church denomination A; child X got married and attended a different denomination, and child Y got married and attended denomination A just like Mom and Dad.  Or one child remained a Republican (or Democrat) like the parents, while another child changed to the other major party.  

Or one child became lesbian or gay, and the other child remained straight.  

*****

Personal comment:  On my wall across from my desk, I have my own poster of Micah 6:8 “What does God expect of me but to love justice, show mercy, and be humble.”  What is justice?  Am I merciful?  

*****

For the past year-and-one-half, I’ve worked at a senior living facility.  Some of the patients end up in the memory care unit (aka - the dementia unit).  

I have heard of some families (or some individuals in families), wanting to put their parent(s) in a dementia ward, more out of spite than out of love.  Yes, in many cases the parents do have some form of dementia.  My friend AP couldn’t tell you anything about what she ate, did, or who she talked to yesterday.  But, she is sweet and not “too crazy”.  My friend LS tells me her parents are coming to visit her today (her parents are long dead).  My friend BS tells me that somebody is stealing things from her room - including stealing her Bible and daily devotional readings. (I went into her room to see if these had been stolen and were there in their normal places).  

With these thoughts, I go back to LOVE WINS.  I’m reminded of an ancient commandment to “Love and honor your parents”.  (Commandment #5 of the Ten Commandments).  

As parents age, and write their wills, they should pray over the will.  They should invite their families to pray with them and to discuss the will.  If a family has some religious values and greed is not a major part of it, the planning and discussion should go better than with acrimonious families.

Some Biblical injunctions:

Those who honor their father atone for sins; those who honor their father will have joy in their own children, and when they pray they are heard. Those who respect their father will live a long life; those who obey the Lord honor their mother. Those who fear the Lord honor their father and serve their parents as masters. In word and deed honor your father, that all blessings may come to you. Do not glory in your father’s disgrace, for that is no glory to you! A father’s glory is glory also for oneself; My son, be steadfast in honoring your father; Do not grieve him as long as he lives. Even if his mind fails, be considerate of him; do not revile him because you are in your prime. Kindness to a father will not be forgotten.

So, death, dying, and wills - planning for your parents.

There is a humorous adage:  Parents be nice to your children - they pick your nursing home!!

LOVE WINS - love wins in death and dying, honor your parents, elders

LOVE TRANSFORMS - from greed to generosity

KAREN ANNE WHITE, ©, APRIL 4, 2023

MONDAY, APRIL 3RD, 2023 - DEATH 1

 MONDAY, APRIL 3RD, 2023 - DEATH

For Christians, this is Holy Week.  For Jews, this is Passover Week.  For Muslims, this is part of Ramadan. As a person with a Judeo-Christian perspective, I’m going to be spiritual this week - but a little out there - writing about death and dying.  Death is not fun (not that I’ve experienced it personally)

Three days ago I was with Lillian (not her real name).  Lillian is in hospice care and is dying.  I don’t know much about Lillian.  She was quite active in her church, loved cats, never married, and is getting closer to death every day.

Three days ago, I met her sister and her brother-in-law.  Her brother-in-law seems to be the one who is helping with the Power of Attorney.  They live a long way away but are staying in the Texas area to be around when Lillian finally does die.

I was going to write “when Lillian passes on”.  We don’t like to say “die” so we use euphemisms like “passes on”.  Sometimes we say “they slipped away, they are at rest, they were called home to God”.  

Guess what - we are all going to die.  (As a Judeo-Christian I might add - “Unless Jesus comes first and calls us home”).  

Death / Dying / Life as we know it is over

We have stories about death - about “NDE” - Near Death Experiences - where people sense they have died but somehow come back to life.  I had a friend who talked of floating near the ceiling of her hospital room looking down at her body lying on the bed and the medical staff trying to revive her.  But, somehow, the voice said “I’m not ready for you yet” and she returned to her body on the bed.

BUT, she died two years later.

Death / Dying / Life as we know it is over.

*****

So, what happens after death?  

On a physical plane, our flesh and organs rot and all that is left is a skeleton. 

How about a mental plane?  That is unknown.  Some think it is all over - dead - nothing.  Something there is some kind of ‘life after death”.  Some think we can come back possibly in a different form (reincarnation), others think of heaven and hell (or utopia/nirvana).  

In the Judeo-Christian view (as I understand it), we were given free will - and so with that free will we can believe X or we can believe Y.

In the Judeo-Christian view, God is infinite - he always was and always will be.  “As it was, in the beginning, is now and ever shall be, world without end, Amen”.

So, if we die but then live in some kind of perfect environment for an infinite number of years how will that be?  I don’t know!!!  Will every day be better than the day before?  I don’t know!!!

John 14:1-3  “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You place your trust in God. Trust also in me. In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places. If there were not, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, so that where I am, you may also be. 

This seems to imply that Jesus is suggesting that he is going to prepare a place for us.  

Is this ‘heaven’ a real place?  (With the concept that there are over 8 trillion galaxies.  That is almost an infinity of locations!!!)  

In Luke 23, we have this (with Jesus on the cross to the thief): Jesus said to him, “Amen, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise.

******

Bach wrote a chorale - “Come Sweet Death”

Komm, süßer Tod, komm selge Ruh!

Komm führe mich in Friede,

weil ich der Welt bin müde,

ach komm! ich wart auf dich,

komm bald und führe mich,

drück mir die Augen zu.

Komm, selge Ruh!

Come, sweet death, come, blessed rest!

Come lead me to peace

because I am weary of the world,

O come! I wait for you,

come soon and lead me,

close my eyes.

Come, blessed rest!

*****

Yes, when death is coming - make it a sweet blessed death - a death of peace.

My friend, Lillian, is dying.  I don’t know her situation - is it cancer?  Is her kidney failure?  When I was with her the other day, she ate a bite of pudding and a bite of ice cream.  We (SK and I) bathed her and changed her clothes, but she didn’t get out of bed.  (In my three months of few visits I have never seen her out of bed).  Early on we carried on conversations, but that hasn’t happened for the last few times.  One time I was worried that she might die while I was with her.  What would I do?  Call the hospice staff in to verify death and handle the particulars.

I’m not sure what her plans are - burial, cremation? In a church or in a funeral home?  Will she even have a service?  Will a clergyperson come and pray over her body?  She (as a Catholic) had last rites and anointing last week (and maybe even earlier).  

Come, sweet death, come blessed rest and peace to Lillian and to all of us.

More on death and dying tomorrow.  (And, with some thoughts of my first-century philosopher’s death on a cross 2000 years ago).

LOVE WINS

LOVE TRANSFORMS

(CAN LOVE WIN OVER DEATH?  CAN LOVE TRANSFORM US IN DEATH?)

KAREN ANNE WHITE, ©, APRIL 3, 2023

(Today is the 45th anniversary of my daughter’s birth.  I love her and look forward to many great additional years with her.  We have been estranged for five years and I dearly miss and love her as close to unconditionally as humans can). 

SUNDAY, APRIL 2, 2023 - APRIL IS HERE

 SUNDAY, APRIL 2, 2023 - APRIL IS HERE

Ahh - April.  If there is a perfect month, April might be the forerunner.  You can scratch November to March for being cool (or cold).  And (especially in the south), you can scratch July and August for being too hot.  (Definitely my opinion)

That leaves March, April, May, June, September, and October.  

March can be blustery as winter fights to keep its stranglehold going

May might also be a perfect month

June can frequently have hot and humid days

September brings sweaters and light jackets out of the closet

October had Halloween, but it can be like March in reverse as the weather changes

Maybe there is a tie between April, May, and September.

How about “April Love” (as song by Pat Boone):

Sometimes an April day will suddenly bring showers

Rain to grow the flowers for her first bouquet

But April love can slip right through your fingers

So if she's the one don't let her run away

*****

Simon and Garfunkel had “April, she will come”

April, come she will

When streams are ripe and swelled with rain

From: April, come she will

When streams are ripe and swelled with rain

May, she will stay

Resting in my arms again

*****

Morning has broken, like the first morning

Blackbird has spoken, like the first bird

Praise for the singing, praise for the morning

Praise for them springing fresh from the world

Sweet the rain's new fall, sunlight from Heaven

Like the first dew fall on the first grass

Praise for the sweetness of the wet garden

Spring in completeness, where His feet pass

Mine is the Sunlight, mine is the morning

Born of the one light, Eden saw play

Praise with elation, praise every morning

God's recreation of the new day

(Christian Hymn made popular by Cat Stevens)

*****

April showers bring May flowers

(As kids we added, “And what do May flowers bring?  Pilgrims”)

*****

Odyssyonline says this about April:

10 Reasons Why April Is And Always Will Be The Best Month (theodysseyonline.com)

The Birthstone is the diamond - the hardest gemstone, the one most common in wedding rings and can be cut with many facets to let the light gleam.

The flowers in April are daisies and sweet peas: The daisy symbolizes innocence and purity while the sweet pea signifies blissful pleasure.

There are three holidays in April - April Fools Day, Easter, and Earth Day. That is a lot of holidays for one month! April is just extra appreciative!

In April the flowers start to bloom, and the earth returns to beauty after winter

In April, baseball season starts

April has some beautiful weather - sun, rain, even rainbows

National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day

And, April 2 is National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day!!!

I tried for a couple of months to avoid peanut butter - but last week I bought some peanut butter, I have butter and jelly - and - boom off I go!!

Years ago, I didn’t believe there was a peanut allergy.  I thought a friend who said she had a peanut allergy just didn’t like peanuts.  I have learned differently.  

*****

Enjoy the April weather, enjoy life!!

LOVE WINS

LOVE TRANSFORMS

KAREN ANNE WHITE, ©, APRIL 2, 2023