SUNDAY FUNDAY - DECEMBER 3, 2023

                                         SUNDAY FUNDAY

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 3RD, 2023

WARM-UP

We’ve made it through Thanksgiving, family, Black Friday, Texas versus Texas Tech, and into the last few days of November!!!

My calendar is already filling up for December. Yours is the same.

HUMOR FOR SENIORS:

1. When one door closes and another opens, you are probably in prison.

2. To me, “drink responsibly” means don’t spill it.

3. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 p.m. is the new midnight.

4. It’s the start of a new day, and I’m off like a herd of turtles.

5. The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

6. When I say, “The other day,” I could refer to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.

7. I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.

8. I had my patience tested. I’m negative.

9. Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn’t fit any of your containers.

10. If you’re sitting in public and a stranger sits next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, “Did you bring the money?”

11. When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say “nothing,” it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.

12. I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.

13. I run like the winded.

14. I hate when a couple argues in public, and I miss the beginning and don’t know whose side I’m on.

15. When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, “Why, what did you hear?”

16. When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?

17. I don’t mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.

18. When I ask for directions, please don’t use words like “east.”

19. Don’t bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That’ll freak you right out.

20. Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call those people cops.

21. My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.”

  

STORY

Recently, a friend posted an image on Facebook. It was from a coffee shop with a sign that read, “Welcome to Stockton’s Coffee House - Home to the world’s worst coffee according to a customer on TripAdvisor.”

That made me think of my worst coffee ever.

I had made a trip from Madison, South Dakota, to Cedar Rapids, Iowa, to visit my parents for a family celebration. It was Sunday night, and I was driving back to Madison. It is about a six-hour drive (without stopping) - I left at about six p.m. and knew the roads. It was good fall weather. While cruising on Interstate 90 in Minnesota, I started to get drowsy. It was about 9:45, and Worthington was the next stop. It’s time to get a cup of coffee and some caffeine. I took the exit and drove into a fast-food restaurant. They were in the process of closing. I ordered a large black cup of coffee - and I knew as soon as I got it, it was a mistake. You could tell the pot had been on the burner for hours (who else would be buying black coffee at 9:45 on a Sunday night).

I took a whiff - and yuk, it smelled stale and old. But I had two more hours to go and needed to get back on the road.  

About five miles later, I took my first sip. It was still almost too hot to drink, but I wanted caffeine. Yuk - it was terrible - but it was coffee.

I nursed that coffee for an hour, and my head cleared. There wasn’t much traffic, and I was awake with my radio blaring away and the caffeine flowing through my blood vessels.

I made it home safe.

But, looking back, that was the world’s worst coffee (at least in my opinion) - that had been on the burner for hours and probably would have been dumped two minutes after I stopped at the fast food restaurant, did keep me awake.  

If you crave black, caffeinated coffee at 9:45 on a Sunday, don’t go to a fast food restaurant just off an interstate highway. But if you needed something with caffeine to keep you awake and could say “yuck” at every sip, it would do the trick!!!

*****

I STOPPED SHAMPOOING MY HAIR IN THE SHOWER!!

Did you read the labels - “extra body” and “Volumizing?”. When I shampoo my hair in the shower, the suds wash off over my body. I don’t want “extra body” (especially around my waist) and “volume?” I have enough volume!!!

Shampooing in the bathroom sink might be more challenging, but the rest of my body is happy!!!

*****

EVENTS

MUSIC

Bluebonnet Orchestra concert - Saturday, December 9th - 7:30 p.m. at Kleid Auditorium (Georgetown High School) - (Free - donations accepted)

Williamson County Symphony Orchestra - Saturday, December 16th - 7:30 at Kleid Auditorium (free - donations accepted)

*****

HAVE A GREAT DECEMBER!!! BE KIND, BE GIVING, BE HAPPY!!!