MONDAY, MAY 9TH, 2022 SPIRAL OF VIOLENCE

 MONDAY, MAY 9TH, 2022 SPIRAL OF VIOLENCE

*****

Let’s start with an Elvis Presley song - “In The Ghetto”

On a cold and gray Chicago morn

A poor little baby child is born

In the ghetto  (In the ghetto)

And his mama cries

'Cause if there's one thing that she don't need

It's another hungry mouth to feed

In the ghetto (In the ghetto)

People, don't you understand

A child needs a helping hand

Or he'll grow to be an angry young man some day

Take a look at you and me

Are we too blind to see

Do we simply turn our heads

And look the other way?

Well, the world turns

And a hungry little boy with a runny nose

Plays in the street as the cold wind blows

In the ghetto (In the ghetto)

And his hunger burns

So he starts to roam the streets at night

And he learns how to steal and he learns how to fight

In the ghetto  (In the ghetto)

Then one night in desperation

The young man breaks away

He buys a gun, he steals a car

Tries to run, but he don't get far

And his mama cries

As a crowd gathers 'round an angry young man

Facedown on the street with a gun in his hand

In the ghetto (In the ghetto)

And as her young man dies (In the ghetto)

On a cold and gray Chicago mornin'

Another little baby child is born

In the ghetto  (In the ghetto)

And his mama cries

In the ghetto (In the ghetto)

(In the ghetto)

*****

In Elvis’s song, the mother is thinking, “Cause if there's one thing that she don't need

It's another hungry mouth to feed”

The boy grows up - in the ghetto.

The lyrics add: People, don't you understand, A child needs a helping hand, Or he'll grow to be an angry young man someday

*****

And, of course, the boy grows up - as an angry young man (in the ghetto).  He learns to steal, he learns how to fight. 

And, if you hadn’t deduced the ending, yes, the boy in the ghetto tries to break out - and gets killed on the streets of Chicago. (I've heard that violence has been rampant in Chicago in the last year).

*****

This could go into the abortion discussion, but I’m not going there.  I’m writing this week about the ‘Spiral of Violence”.

*****

I’ve been reading a little book called “The Spiral of Violence” 

This comes from a Brazilian archbishop called Helder Camara in 1971. 

He’d come out with things like - why is it that “When I give food to the poor they call me a saint. But, when I ask why the poor have no food they call me a communist”?

 

Archbishop Camara wrote: That violence builds up at three levels in society. 

Primary violence is the everyday effect of structurally ingrained social injustice. This generates secondary violence - the revolt of the oppressed. 

And that in turn provokes tertiary violence - repression by the powerful to secure their privileged position. And so the spiral of violence tightens.

******

More tomorrow!!!

LOVE WINS!!

Karen

Monday, May 9th

SATURDAY STORY, MAY 7, 2022

 SATURDAY STORY, MAY 7, 2022

Story set from 1916 to 1934

Sandra Wilson relaxed - finally.  She had fought hard for the Volstead Act and for the 18th Amendment to the Constitution.  And, the United States Senate had overridden President Woodrow Wilson’s veto of the Volstead Act.

The Volstead Act prohibited the manufacture, sale, transport, import, or export of alcoholic beverages.  Sandra knew of the dangers of alcohol.  Her uncle Marvin was a physical wreck from alcohol abuse.  As a kid working on the neighbor’s farm, the farmworkers stopped after work and had a beer (or two or three).  Uncle Marvin soon found that he liked beer.  Over a period of five years, he went from a healthy teenager to a hopeless broken-down alcoholic.  His work became shoddy and sporadic as he couldn’t be dependent on showing up at work after a night of boozing.

Whiskey also became part of Uncle Marvin’s life.  Fortunately, Uncle Marvin didn’t have a family, but most of his income found its way into alcoholic bottles.  He was a friendly drunk normally and would buy rounds for friends at the tavern.  

Sandra’s dad ran the Wilson farms.  As the eldest son of Howard Wilson, he worked his way up through the ranks to foreman and as her grandfather retired into town, ran the operation.  It was set up as a corporation with shares.  Grandfather Howard had given most of his shares to Leo (Sandra’s dad).  Marvin had some shares in the family business too, but over the years had sold them off - mostly for alcohol and a Ford Model T car.  

Marvin had worked on the family farm and Leo kept him on even for the days when he didn’t show up.  

Leo said, “I owe it to my brother, God needs me to help take care of him.  He is very sick”.

Prices were good for farm products in Eastern Iowa.  The farm was successful.  They could “carry” Uncle Marvin.  And, Uncle Marvin generally stayed sober (or sober enough) for spring planting, fall harvesting, and calving season.  He lived in the bunkhouse with a couple of other farmhands and could drive his Model T the four miles into Alburnett Iowa for some groceries and the bar.

*****

Prohibition was a morality issue.  Alcoholism cuts into the lives of so many families.  It cut productivity off.  For some alcoholics, it meant some minor stealing to outright larceny to get enough money to buy booze.  Health care also took the brunt of alcoholism and alcoholics frequently got into fights and cirrhosis of the liver generally took their lives before natural death.  Drunk driving was a problem as well. 

But, now, no alcohol could be made, sold, transported, imported, or exported.  

But, Uncle Marvin was resourceful. He knew people who knew people who had homemade stills and made moonshine.  Sandra was surprised a couple of months into prohibition that Uncle Marvin could still get drunk.  

Across the country, it was still possible for people to get alcohol.  Rumrunners brought alcohol into Long Island from ships in international waters.  Detroit had Canadian whiskey disguised as cola.  Appalachia had moonshine stills, and many of the other towns did too.  Chicago and other cities had speakeasies where a member could join a club that looked legitimate.  Alcohol became a booming black market business, operating without taxes, without quality control, and without any oversight.  Alcohol poisoning occurred from bad moonshine.  Crime syndicates took over the alcohol production and distribution - sometimes even with bad cops overseeing the operation.

*****As an act of Christian love, of morality, prohibition seemed to encourage evil and underhanded production of alcohol.  

There were also a growing number of deaths from bad booze.  Homebrew and moonshine stills didn’t have the equipment and quality control of regular breweries and alcohol refineries.  

*****

Uncle Marvin borrowed money a few times from Leo Wilson (and Sandra guessed it was for alcohol).  At age 65, Uncle Marvin’s health was shot and he spent two years deteriorating until death from a heart attack at age 67. 

*****

In general, prohibition was not all that successful.  It drove alcohol underground and into the black market and into the hands of crooks.  

The country reversed itself in 1933 allowing liquor to be made, sold, distributed, and taxed!!!

*****

(be careful, Karen)

We (the United States) are on the verge of setting moral standards again - this time in terms of abortion.  As a person in the Judeo-Christian philosophy, “thou shalt not kill” sticks in my philosophy.  But, I also know that abortions will still occur - as they say in the back alleys and underground.  They probably will not occur in hospitals or clinics, the providers may not be using the best tools in a tough environment.  

In the past two years, personal choice has been flaunted.  A person doesn’t have to be vaccinated against COVID. Anti-vaxxers have been very vocal that they don’t need to be vaccinated and aren’t required to wear masks!!  COVID recently passed 1 million DEATHS in the United States- not counting all those that have been affected.  (Note - that is more than the population of South Dakota).  The anti-vaxxers can spread COVID by not wearing masks and by NOT getting vaccinated - personal choice.  

Still, we allow individual freedom / personal choice.  You don’t have to get the vaccination, you don’t have to wear a mask.  

BUT - if you are a pregnant woman, you do NOT have individual freedom or personal choice to have an abortion (unless you go to the back alleys and underground providers - or go to another state).  You are legally bound to carry the child to term.

Some right-to-life people say - once the birth is done, our job is over.  Too bad about the black or minority woman who can’t afford to raise the child and had no access to adoption (white Americans prefer adopting white children).  They (black/minority women) are on their own!!  Yeah - your baby has been born.  Helping with services - housing, food, and education ended with the birth.  Some use the slogan “from birth to natural death'' for right-to-life and some do a great job in providing help and aid.  

No, I don’t know the answer, but I can guess at the bloody and terrible fight that is already starting.  Conservative versus liberal.  Republicans versus Democrats.  Pro-life versus pro-choice.  And, it isn’t going to be pretty.

May God surround us with wisdom, discernment, love, grace, mercy, joy, and peace.  May we be understanding and tolerant of others' opinions and may we let LOVE WIN!!!

Karen

May 7, 2022

FRIDAY, MAY 6TH, 2022, SPIRITUAL THOUGHTS

 FRIDAY, MAY 6TH, 2022, SPIRITUAL THOUGHTS

The picture is from my recent trip to Phoenix.  It includes my three cousins, my brother-in-law, and the spouse of one of the cousins

I’ve used the expression:  “Love is spelled T I M E” in the past.

In relationships, I think that is true.  Husbands and wives who spend time together are stronger.  Parents who spend time with their children have a stronger bond.

In my short blog today:

Do you love your faith?  Do you believe in God (Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, etc.) do you spend T I M E with God as you perceive Him, Her, It, The Force, Parent, Father? 

LOVE WINS!!!

Karen

April 6th, 2022

(Note, I’m not perfect, I’m not preaching, just observing)

THURSDAY, MAY 5., 2022 SPIRITUAL EMPHASIS

 THURSDAY, MAY 5., 2022 SPIRITUAL EMPHASIS

First some humor for Cinco de Mayo Day:

As you know, many Mexican foods use salsa or queso.  But at one time, almost all Mexicans used mayonnaise as their main condiment.  

During World War I, a top-secret shipment of English mayonnaise was being shipped to Mexico.  But, as fate would have it, the Germans thought it was loaded with weapons for the United States who was going to enter the war.  So, a German U-Boat sank the shipment.  Mexicans denied their favorite condiment and suddenly had to find another way to enhance their foods, and thus salsa and queso became the standard add-on for Mexican cuisine.

And, of course, the event was called SINKO DE MAYO - which over the years has become Cinco de Mayo!!!  And many remember the day with gusto!!

*****

This week I have looked at families - and especially at families that have been torn apart.  The picture is of my sister and myself last week in Arizona.  (I love my sister!!)

So, today, some Bible verses relating to parenting:

*****

Ephesians 6

Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do.  “Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise:  If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.

*****

Sirach 3

For the Lord honors a father above his children,  and he confirms a mother’s right over her children. Those who honor their father atone for sins, and those who respect their mother are like those who lay up treasure. Those who honor their father will have joy in their own children, and when they pray they will be heard.

Those who respect their father will have a long life, and those who honor their mother obey the Lord; they will serve their parents as their masters. Honor your father by word and deed, that his blessing may come upon you. A father’s blessing strengthens the houses of the children, but a mother’s curse uproots their foundations.

Do not glorify yourself by dishonoring your father, for your father’s dishonor is no glory to you. The glory of one’s father is one’s own glory, and it is a disgrace for children not to respect their mother. 

My child, help your father in his old age, and do not grieve him as long as he lives; even if his mind fails, be patient with him; because you have all your faculties, do not despise him. For kindness to a father will not be forgotten, and will be credited to you against your sins; on the day of your distress it will be remembered in your favor like frost in fair weather, your sins will melt away. Whoever forsakes a father is like a blasphemer, and whoever angers a mother is cursed by the Lord.

*****

Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old. Proverbs 23:22

Love covers a multitude of sins 1 Peter 4:8

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God and everyone that loves is born of God and knows God.  He who does not love doesn't know God, for God is love. 1 John 4:7-8

 Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister is still in the darkness.  Anyone who loves their brother and sister lives in the light, and there is nothing in them to make them stumble. But anyone who hates a brother or sister is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness. They do not know where they are going, because the darkness has blinded them. 1 John 2:9-11

****

So, what happened this last week?  We talked about people who are estranged from their families.  LOVE WINS - but it would seem that separation is breaking a love binding.  

*****

In legal terms, if you don't follow the directives of the judge or court, you are in "contempt of the court".  It would seem that failing to love might put us in "contempt of God?

*****

To me, the reality is to LOVE, to live a good and pleasing life.  

*****

LOVE WINS!!!

Karen May 5, 2022

WEDNESDAY, MAY 4TH, 2022, FAMILY

 WEDNESDAY, MAY 4TH, 2022, FAMILY

Okay, I must start the day with “May the Force be with you” - a variation of the date - May 4th!!  

In Star Wars, the main concept seems to be the division between Good and Evil.  Luke Skywalker is challenged to “Come to the dark side” - the dark side is strong and powerful.  Hatred wins - seems to be the controlling view.  

The good guys (aka “the rebellion”, Luke, Leia, Hans, Yoda, and all the rest) are trying to let the Force guide them.  In a similar vein, Christianity says “be guided by the Holy Spirit”.  

*****

This week I’m writing about families

Let’s start with the Skywalker family!!!  Luke Skywalker’s father was Anakin Skywalker - who did go to the “Dark Side” and was Darth Vader.  In the second original Star Wars movie, The Empire Strikes Back, Darth Vader says to Luke “No, I am your father.”   (Note, many people - including me - have quoted that as “Luke, I am your father”.  Just a slight variation in words) 

Luke senses some good in Darth Vader, and in the last of the original movies, The Return of the Jedi, Luke rescues his father and gives him a proper burial.  

In the three original Star Wars movies, relying on the Force is how the good guys survive and win.  And, it is a story of reconciliation and forgiveness.  Even though Luke has to fight his father in great lightsaber action - he refuses to go negative.

*****

So, what might that mean for you and me?

Karen’s thoughts

Don’t ever give up on reconciliation.

It might be like Darth Vader as he comes to his death.  Are you (and me) willing to wait until the end of the other person’s life to say “I love you, I forgive you!.  Will you forgive me?”

Block those negative thoughts

“Hope springs eternal”.  Don’t go to the dark side, be positive

Keep an “image” of your reconciliation in your brain

Have a mental image of you and your son, daughter, parent, friend hugging and saying “I’m sorry, I love you”.  Believe that someday you WILL hug each other, that you will be reconciled.

Don’t stoke the fire

Don’t throw wood on the fire, don’t say (or do) things that build the barrier wall between you and the person you are reconciling with.  Picture the sun on a warm spring day melting the snow.  Picture the joy, peace, and comfort that comes with reconciliation.

As kids, we said, “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but names will never hurt me”, but the reality is that words can hurt and can cut deep (like the person who was called “weird”).  

Don’t hold on to the hurt.

Grudges and hurts are like cancer - and will eat away at you.  

And, if you can pray, do so.  James 5:14 says “ The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results”

*****

You have to hope (assume?) that deep inside of your Darth Vader there still is a little good and a little humanity left.  And, you have to have a lot of love, a lot of humanity, and even humility!!!  

Some people might say you are stupid for trying to make up with the estranged person.  “Why are you going to get on your knees and beg <the person> to restore the relationship.  It takes two to fight, stand your ground”.  

Somebody has to make the first step.  Yesterday, I wrote:

Do handwrite a note or leave a brief voicemail.

Do approach the situation lightly.

Do reach out infrequently but authentically.

Do apologize.

Don't text or email.

Don't get into a big explanation.

Don't allow silence to take over.

Don't plead your case.

Picture the future with you reconciled with your <person> - picture yourself happy, laughing, hugging, and overjoyed with each other.  Think of the peace in your heart.  Is it worth holding back when a chance of healing can happen? 

*****

“Silence can last a long time before you look up and realize years have gone by.

“Consider the amount of time that has elapsed, especially if you have in your heart a desire to re-establish that relationship. Time does not mean other people will change or grow, but if you feel there is still room left for a relationship, it may be helpful when you reach a point in your healing journey, to reach back out.

“Time can especially become a major factor as family members get older, or unexpected health issues arise. Some relationships may be beyond repair, but if you feel there is a chance of reconciliation, then don’t let too much time go by. In many instances, you may have to initiate contact.

“If reconciliation is something you want, then be receptive to other people’s attempts to make amends, or consider reaching out yourself, when you are ready.

*****

I know of people that didn’t reconcile with their parents while their parents were alive.  Some have said, “Why was I so pigheaded not to reconcile with my dad while he was alive.”

Yes, I’m going to call next week.  Yes, I’m going to write a note next week.  Yes, I’m going to make an attempt to bridge the gap next week.  AND.  Next week doesn’t come. OR  They have a heart attack and die suddenly before you have a chance to make up.  Do it now - (and be kind, loving, forgiving, and humble)!!!

Karen

May the Force Be With You.

Be open and be yielded to God/He/She/IT/The Force/Holy Spirit

TUESDAY, MAY 3, 2022, FAMILY II

 TUESDAY, MAY 3, 2022, FAMILY II

Today's picture is again from a cup.  It is the family reunion from seven years ago.  There were eleven people in this picture.  This time there were eight people at our gathering.  One has died, one left the family through divorce, and one opted not to attend.  

This week I’m looking at family relationships, especially looking at estranged relationships and healing. 

Scenario 1:

Your daughter, now in her 30s, stopped talking to you after you and she had words over finances, a good 10 years ago. You've reached out to her several times since the dispute, eager to mend fences and get your relationship back on track. But your voice mails have not been returned. You feel heartbroken, angry, and helpless. ( Done With the Crying: Help and Healing for Mothers of Estranged Adult Children, by Sheri McGregor.) 

Scenario 2:

Your father was a real jerk.  As a teenager, he disciplined you by spanking with his heavy belt.  You tried to avoid him, but immediately after graduating from high school, you moved in with your grandmother.  You went off to college and he did help support you financially.  

It has been ten years now, you are 28 and married with a son and he has reached out to you to see you and his grandson.  He did walk you down the aisle when you married.  He has apologized profusely for his behavior when you were a teenager.  He has taken an anger management course and seems to have his behavior and actions under control.

Scenario 3:

A friend called you “weird”, and you’ve decided to drop her as a friend. She has called and emailed but you have chosen to ignore the phone calls and delete the emails.  The friend is sorry and would like to be a friend.  

Scenario 4:

You are retired, and you and your wife decide to divorce.  It seems as if miscommunication has occurred in the divorce discussions.  Your children and grandchildren have not communicated with you for four years.  

Scenario 5:
Two sisters have not talked for two years.  One says “It was all her fault”, and the other says “It was all her fault”.  

*****

There are many forms where people can become separated - and estranged.  Frequently one (and sometimes even both) sides want to reconcile but the messages are getting lost or not delivered.

"I never imagined that my own child could reject me,” says Sheri McGregor of Done With The Crying: Help and Healing for Mothers of Estranged Adult Children. “Yet, one of my five children cut ties with me and his entire family. It's emotionally devastating and something no loving parent expects or is prepared for."

“Experts agree that there seems to be an increase in separations between adult children and one or both of their parents. One survey of more than 800 British adults who self-identify as partly or fully estranged from one or both parents found that it's more often the adult child who initiates the separation. The study reported that more daughters than sons initiate breakups. Further, more mothers than fathers are estranged from their adult kids. Estrangement from fathers, however, lasts longer: an average of 7.9 years, compared with 5.5 years from mothers.

While the survey found that a sizable majority of adult kids don't expect reconciliation, some parents see glimmers of hope and believe that, with the right approach, they can find a way back into the relationship. But there are right ways and wrong ways to handle a possible reconciliation.”

Okay - an increase in separations - is not good; the adult child initiates the estrangement, and it can last for years.  

Sheri McGregor has some Do’s and Don’ts 

Do handwrite a note or leave a brief voicemail.

Do approach the situation lightly.

Do reach out infrequently but authentically.

Do apologize.

Don't text or email.

Don't get into a big explanation.

Don't allow silence to take over.

Don't plead your case.

Sheri McGregor adds:

“"...don't let the estrangement define you or your life." "Help yourself now and you'll be better prepared if or when a reconciliation comes..."

*****

(Okay, time to throw in some scripture)

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13

 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32

(And, probably too famous, but still worthy of reviewing:)

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”

I say “LOVE WINS”.  If you are a parent with an estranged child - love them unconditionally!!  If you are a child with a parent who is unlovable and unloved - love them unconditionally!!!

More tomorrow!!

Karen

May 3rd, 2022

MONDAY, MAY 2, 2022, FAMILY I

 MONDAY, MAY 2, 2022 FAMILY I

In the top row are Earl (aka "Uncle Earl"), Helen (my mother - the oldest), Leah ("Aunt Leah" - second oldest), bottom row (Stella - my Grandmother, George D (the baby), and George A - my grandfather)

I’m writing this from Surprise Arizona while on a trip to visit my family.  Surprise is a “Sun City/Del Webb'' city.  My sister and brother-in-law moved here last summer.  (Aside - from moving in July from western Michigan to HOT ARIZONA must have been a challenge!!)

This morning I’m sitting on their patio - it is about 62 degrees (the desert gets cool at night) and it is about 6:30 in the morning!!!  It should get to 95 this afternoon!!  My sister/brother-in-law’s backyard has trumpet vines in bloom and LOTS of hummingbirds.  There is only a very slight breeze currently.

Both in the Austin/Georgetown area and in this area, there are many age 55 plus residential units.  This particular unit has something like 9,000 houses (plus some condos).  They have several golf courses, clubhouses, pools, and oodles of activities.  

I am here with my sister(77)/brother-in-law(77), my eldest cousin (78) and his wife(74) from Arlington Virginia, my second oldest cousin (74)  and his wife(69) from Washington State (Olympic Peninsula), and my youngest cousin (69) who is living in Mexico.  The last time we were together was seven years ago - and (gasp) we are all seven years older!!!.

As you can expect we are talking about aging, plus throw in some discussion about their children (and grandchildren), their political, religious, and societal views.  

*****

I want to spend a couple of days this week writing about families, aging, and life.  

Growing up, my mother’s side of the family was very close and my father’s family was not as close.  So this week I’m with my mother’s side of the family.  Many of my father’s family ended up in Washington State, while my mother’s family stayed in the upper midwest (Iowa and Illinois).

*****

So, families.

“Blood is thicker than water”.  Families have been the cornerstone of society.  As you know I have a Judeo-Christian perspective.  Family fights go back to Cain and Abel - supposedly the first children in the world.  Cain kills Abel and then asks God, “Am I my brother’s keeper?”.  

Jacob and Esau were twins and Jacob stole his brother’s birthright.  Jacob had twelve sons and the elder sons sold their youngest son (Joseph) into slavery in Egypt.  

King David had many wives and many children.  Tamar is the daughter of King David, and sister of Absalom. Later, she is raped by her half-brother Amnon.  Absalom tries to kill and overthrow his father as King.

SO - why can’t we get along?  

*****

Modern situations:

Friend A is estranged from her son (and his family).  She doesn’t see pictures of grandchildren, sends Christmas and Birthday cards, and gets no response.

Friend B's sisters are estranged from one of their sisters.  They have shunned her and cut her out of their lives.

Friend C was estranged from one of her sisters for twenty years.  (They have since made up).

Friend D is estranged from one of her children and family.

***

Even this family who is gathering this weekend was estranged from one of our cousins.  He died five years ago and three of us drove to his funeral - and (gasp) found out he was a good person, loved by many in his community.  His problem was an alternate lifestyle.  He was gay.  

This cousin was active in community theater, music, a fraternal lodge, and other community groups.  (Yet, the rest of us ignored him).

 *****

So, for the next three days, I’ll be looking at families, estrangement, and love wins!!

Karen’s axioms for starting reconciliation:

First axiom:  You can only change one person - yourself.  You can try to encourage, scold, praise, or berate your children (or parents) in an attempt to get them to change.  But - you can only change you.  You must believe in yourself.  “I CAN” change.  Willpower is the requirement.  You must bend your will to change.

Second axiom:  If you want to reconcile, you must be positive.  You must practice unconditional love.  Sometimes it must be tough love.  The spouse of one of my cousins was talking about her brother who was addicted to drugs and was homeless.  She (my cousin’s wife) did a lot to get her brother into a rehab facility.  And, now, years later, he is a happy person and loves life.

Third axiom:  The past is past - unless there is an overwhelming reason to bring it up, DON’T!!  Have a fresh start - wipe the slate clean.  DON’T preach, don’t point out flaws.  LOVE!

Fourth axiom:  Agree to disagree, but avoid controversial topics.  If you have political differences - DON’T talk about politics!!  If you have religious differences - DON’T talk about religion.  

Fifth axiom:  Find common ground.  What activities might you and your estranged family member (or friend) do together?  

Sixth axiom:  Walk a mile in their shoes (or two miles, or a thousand miles)l  Understand the differences.  Understand that your estranged relative has taken different paths than you have.  

Seventh axiom:  Forgive, forgive, forgive

Matthew 18:21-22: “Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone[i] who sins against me? Seven times?”

 “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!”

(Just keep forgiving).

*****

More tomorrow!!

LOVE WINS!!

Karen