WEDNESDAY, MAY 4TH, 2022, FAMILY

 WEDNESDAY, MAY 4TH, 2022, FAMILY

Okay, I must start the day with “May the Force be with you” - a variation of the date - May 4th!!  

In Star Wars, the main concept seems to be the division between Good and Evil.  Luke Skywalker is challenged to “Come to the dark side” - the dark side is strong and powerful.  Hatred wins - seems to be the controlling view.  

The good guys (aka “the rebellion”, Luke, Leia, Hans, Yoda, and all the rest) are trying to let the Force guide them.  In a similar vein, Christianity says “be guided by the Holy Spirit”.  

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This week I’m writing about families

Let’s start with the Skywalker family!!!  Luke Skywalker’s father was Anakin Skywalker - who did go to the “Dark Side” and was Darth Vader.  In the second original Star Wars movie, The Empire Strikes Back, Darth Vader says to Luke “No, I am your father.”   (Note, many people - including me - have quoted that as “Luke, I am your father”.  Just a slight variation in words) 

Luke senses some good in Darth Vader, and in the last of the original movies, The Return of the Jedi, Luke rescues his father and gives him a proper burial.  

In the three original Star Wars movies, relying on the Force is how the good guys survive and win.  And, it is a story of reconciliation and forgiveness.  Even though Luke has to fight his father in great lightsaber action - he refuses to go negative.

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So, what might that mean for you and me?

Karen’s thoughts

Don’t ever give up on reconciliation.

It might be like Darth Vader as he comes to his death.  Are you (and me) willing to wait until the end of the other person’s life to say “I love you, I forgive you!.  Will you forgive me?”

Block those negative thoughts

“Hope springs eternal”.  Don’t go to the dark side, be positive

Keep an “image” of your reconciliation in your brain

Have a mental image of you and your son, daughter, parent, friend hugging and saying “I’m sorry, I love you”.  Believe that someday you WILL hug each other, that you will be reconciled.

Don’t stoke the fire

Don’t throw wood on the fire, don’t say (or do) things that build the barrier wall between you and the person you are reconciling with.  Picture the sun on a warm spring day melting the snow.  Picture the joy, peace, and comfort that comes with reconciliation.

As kids, we said, “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but names will never hurt me”, but the reality is that words can hurt and can cut deep (like the person who was called “weird”).  

Don’t hold on to the hurt.

Grudges and hurts are like cancer - and will eat away at you.  

And, if you can pray, do so.  James 5:14 says “ The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results”

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You have to hope (assume?) that deep inside of your Darth Vader there still is a little good and a little humanity left.  And, you have to have a lot of love, a lot of humanity, and even humility!!!  

Some people might say you are stupid for trying to make up with the estranged person.  “Why are you going to get on your knees and beg <the person> to restore the relationship.  It takes two to fight, stand your ground”.  

Somebody has to make the first step.  Yesterday, I wrote:

Do handwrite a note or leave a brief voicemail.

Do approach the situation lightly.

Do reach out infrequently but authentically.

Do apologize.

Don't text or email.

Don't get into a big explanation.

Don't allow silence to take over.

Don't plead your case.

Picture the future with you reconciled with your <person> - picture yourself happy, laughing, hugging, and overjoyed with each other.  Think of the peace in your heart.  Is it worth holding back when a chance of healing can happen? 

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“Silence can last a long time before you look up and realize years have gone by.

“Consider the amount of time that has elapsed, especially if you have in your heart a desire to re-establish that relationship. Time does not mean other people will change or grow, but if you feel there is still room left for a relationship, it may be helpful when you reach a point in your healing journey, to reach back out.

“Time can especially become a major factor as family members get older, or unexpected health issues arise. Some relationships may be beyond repair, but if you feel there is a chance of reconciliation, then don’t let too much time go by. In many instances, you may have to initiate contact.

“If reconciliation is something you want, then be receptive to other people’s attempts to make amends, or consider reaching out yourself, when you are ready.

*****

I know of people that didn’t reconcile with their parents while their parents were alive.  Some have said, “Why was I so pigheaded not to reconcile with my dad while he was alive.”

Yes, I’m going to call next week.  Yes, I’m going to write a note next week.  Yes, I’m going to make an attempt to bridge the gap next week.  AND.  Next week doesn’t come. OR  They have a heart attack and die suddenly before you have a chance to make up.  Do it now - (and be kind, loving, forgiving, and humble)!!!

Karen

May the Force Be With You.

Be open and be yielded to God/He/She/IT/The Force/Holy Spirit