SATURDAY JUNE 5, 2021 SATURDAY STORY CONTINUED

 SATURDAY JUNE 5, 2021 SATURDAY STORY CONTINUED

In the first two installments, we find that Ruben was an older man, almost a hermit, living in Keokuk Iowa on the Mississippi.  Although gruff, he has become a friend to a neighboring family.  He gave a daughter of that family a key for a “chimney lock”.  In the first installment, the girl and her dad find the lock and open it to see that there are boxes of things there.

In the second installment, Vladimir and Sergei are blundering old spies (in their 80s) who are intent on finding whatever treasures Ruben might have.  But, they get caught and are being interrogated. 

*****

In the Keokuk jail, at 3:30 in the morning, police interrogators are trying to get information out of Vladimir and Sergei. But, the two old spies were playing dumb.  The police took Vladimir into the interrogation room first to see if he would crack.  

Sergeant Worzinski did the honors.  His grandparents were from Poland and he knew a little Russian and might be able to establish rapport with Vladimir.  

He started “So where were you born, Vladimir?”

Vladimir answered, “In Gomel Belarus.  Do you know where that is?”

Luckily Sergeant Worzinski did know - “Isn’t that close to Ukraine and that reactor that exploded some years ago?”

Vladimir answered “Do you mean Chernobyl? Yes, I was born about 50 kilometers from there.”

He continued (didn’t he know that being quiet is better in a police interrogation?) “My father worked on the railroad in Gomel and I grew up there.  I was born when Dad was home from the War for a few days”.  

Sergeant Worzinski nodded.  The internet data said that Vladimir was born in January 1941 as World War II was getting started.  

Worzinski continued "how do you know Ruben Semenitu? "

Vladimir smiled as if remembering a great friend.

“My good friend and comrade, Ruben, and I go back years.  We both grew up in the Gomel area and were in the Young Pioneers group.  We would go hiking and help in our community.  When we were eighteen we both enlisted in the Soviet Army.  It was a glorious time to be in Mother Russian.  We were ahead in the space race, there was no want for food, Chairman Khrushchev was such a dynamic leader.  

In the army, we both picked careers in technology.  Ruben was really a mathematical genius and I was sent to electronics school.  We both were smart. So we both joined one of the defense groups of our country where we connected again.

(Sergeant Worzinski thought - yup - they joined the KGB)

Vladimir waxed eloquently about the glories of Mother Russia, and his bosom pal, Ruben.  

A knock on the interrogation door was answered by Stanislaus Worzinski.  He had a document from Mike Schmidt.  Smiling to Vladimir, he said with genuine affliction, “Where are my manners?  Would you like a sandwich, or a soda, or a cup of coffee?”

Vladimir was sure that Sergeant Wozrinski was softening up, and said: “I’d love a sandwich?”  Then he laughed, “I bet you couldn’t make me a Reuben sandwich?” 

Stan Worzinski laughed too.  “Not in Keokuk Iowa, maybe if we were in New York”.  They both laughed.  Then Stan said “How about ham and cheese on white bread.  Our chef isn’t into work yet”.  

Vladimir added, “I am really thirsty, how about a glass of vodka.”  

And, surprisingly enough, Sergeant Worzinski said, “What a great idea”.  He pressed a button on a phone in the corner and indicated a ham and cheese sandwich on white bread, vodka, and water.  

Now that they were friends, Stan asked Vladimir how he was so fluent in English?  The two chatted for a few minutes until another knock brought the food into the room.  

Generally, there wasn’t vodka at the Keokuk Police Department, and never for prisoners, but Stan Worzinski knew they had crashed an illegal importer of spirits and they had several cases of vodka in the storeroom waiting for the court case.  Missing one bottle on official business was okay.

Soon, Vladimir was on his third glass of vodka and had woofed down his sandwich.  

Now, Stan was ready to get serious.

“Say”, Sergeant Worzinski started, “how come you were in Ruben’s house at night?”

“We were just looking for our old friend, Ruben.  But, he wasn’t home.”  Vladimir took another big swig of the vodka.  Stan was thinking that was enough vodka to make most people pass out.

Stan started again.  “And, how come there were spy cameras in several locations?”  

Vladimir laughed.  “We were going to play a little joke on our friend when he came home.  We would hear him and join him for a few drinks.”

Stan laughed too.  “Yep, a great time for friends to have a party.”

Vladimir nodded.  

Then the heavy question?  “Were you and Sergei looking for something in Ruben’s house?.  I bet he had pictures of you together back home and you wanted a copy for old time’s sake.”

Vladimir again laughed.  “Sure, that was it.  But, Ruben owed Sergei some money and so Sergei was looking for money, but not me, Ruben and I are great pals.” 

Stan laughed with Vladimir (drunken, senior Russian agents did like their vodka).  

“Hey, did you know that Ruben was sick?  Did he eat something bad?”

Vladimir kept laughing “Oh that was Sergei’s plan.  He put some poison in Ruben’s salt shaker just for fun.  What a funny guy?”

Stanislaus Worzinski had more documentation that was contrary to Vladimir’s story.  Ruben had left Russia with his mother in 1955 and emigrated to Israel as the Soviet Union wanted to get rid of the Jews.  Ruben would have been about 13 or 14 years old then, and definitely wouldn’t have been Vladimir’s good comrade in the Soviet Army. 

The two were laughing as Sergeant Worzinski walked a very drunk Vladimir to his cell.  But, being a generous person (at least in this case), he let Vladimir keep the bottle of vodka!! 

*****

Stan Worzinski immediately went to the phone and called our house.  After watching the police taking the two thugs with them, Mom, and I went back to bed.  Mom checked on Ruben and he seemed to be sleeping.

The ringing of the phone did wake Mom up.  

“Hello,” she answered.

“Hi”, said Sergeant Worzinski, “This is Stan Worzinski at the Keokuk Police Department.  We suspect that Ruben has been poisoned.  I will have an ambulance at your house in about 15 minutes.  The EMTs will be able to help get you and Ruben to the hospital where he will be checked.

Mom was astonished.  That was why Ruben’s health had gone so bad so quickly.  Getting me up, the two of us went to the Pear Room upstairs and helped wake up Ruben.  He seemed very disoriented and like he didn't recognize us.  

The ambulance arrived and the EMTs took charge and took Ruben to the Keokuk General Hospital.  

*****

Within ten minutes, a toxicology report indicated a small amount of arsenic in Ruben’s blood, an IV was started to flush that out, and by noon, He was up and about.

A forensic team went back to Ruben’s house and found arsenic in the salt shaker (and also the pepper shaker), and fingerprints of the two Russians all over the shakers.

*****

But, at a level way higher than the Keokuk Police Department; higher than the Iowa Department of Public Safety!!! In some boring governmental buildings in Washington DC and in Moscow diplomatic discussions were held.  

It was that Vladimir and Sergei were retired KGB agents, and had not been on a case in years, and were no longer employees of the state.  They were operating on their own.  

(And, the head of operations in Moscow informally said to his American counterpart, “Lock them up and throw away the key.  We don’t want them back here for at least ten years).

*****

Recognizing that they would receive better treatment in an American jail than back in Russia, a Russian lawyer recommended the two take a plea bargain for eight years - which they did. 

*****

Epilogue.

My maternal grandparents lived in LaCross Wisconsin, and my paternal grandparents lived in Prairie Wisconsin.  So, I got a substitute grandpa in Ruben - and where he had been a prickly cactus before, he became a real softy and generous to me and even the neighborhood kids.

There was an amazing change in the older man.  He cleaned up, shaved daily, took showers (hurray), tended some to his yard.  I became his lawn-mowing girl!!! 

As the hermit of the neighborhood, he became quite the extrovert.  Although he did have Jewish backgrounds he became active in our Methodist Church and went to all the senior activities.  He played senior bridge, took me fishing, AND - even found a girlfriend.

As for the hidden locked room, it did have some treasures.  There were silver and gold coins, but from older regimes in Eastern Europe. And, there was no debate that he legitimately owned them.  Some were great collectibles, some were worth a huge amount for their bullion value.  The estate was valued at about 100 million U.S. Dollars.

Using a search agency, he located his daughter, now in Frankfurt Germany, and built a great relationship with her and his extended family.  He traveled to Germany, Russia, and Israel frequently, and his family visited him and traveled with him around the United States.

With his funds, he established various scholarships, endowments - some of which were in Keokuk.  

Ruben became part of our family too, with almost every Holiday and Sunday dinner at our house.  I went with him to Russia twice and he gave me a scholarship to the University of Iowa!!!

*****

And, in maybe the ultimate irony of all, Ruben, Vladimir, and Sergei became best friends.  Ruben visited them in the Fort Madison jail once or twice a week and they played cards and chess.  The two thugs got an early release for good behavior and instead of moving back to Russia, got a small apartment in Keokuk and walked with Ruben in the beautiful Memorial Gardens (which had a special section of Russian plants)

****************************************************

Well, a three-week story.  Not sure I can make a novel out of this (or if I even want to).

And, a happy ending!!!

LOVE WINS!!!

Karen