SUNDAY FUNDAY JUNE 13,2021

 SUNDAY FUNDAY JUNE 13,2021

Moving to mid-month June!!  Here in central Texas, summer is here.  There are the official dates for the seasons and also the more convenient calendar seasons.

Official Dates:  Winter, December 20 (or so) to March 20 (or so)

  Spring - March 20 to June 20 - 

  Summer - June 20 to September 20

  Fall - September 20 to December 20

But these are based on astronomy - March 20 - spring equinox; June 20 - summer solstice; September 20 - fall equinox; December 20 - winter equinox

The convenient seasons are the first of December, January, February as winter; March, April, and May as spring; June, July, and August as summer; and finally September, October, and November as fall. 

NATIONAL DATES:

June 14, 2021, National Flag Day

There is controversy about Flag Day.  Did Betsy Ross really make the first American Flag?  But, whoever designed the flag did quite a job.  Thirteen stripes for the thirteen American Colonies - and then stars for each of the states.  Currently, we are at 50 stars.  Will there be more?  The District of Columbia?  Puerto Rico?  Separate California into North and South California.

But June 14th has a bigger meaning to me.  My Grandparents were married on June 14, 1910 (??); my parents were married on June 14, 1940; and my wife and I were married on June 14, 1973.  Every year we had an anniversary, my parents had a more significant number.  For example, in 1990, my parents celebrated their Golden Anniversary - and we were celebrating our 17th anniversary.  

And, while in Madison, the Madison Community Band always played for Flag Day on the Courthouse lawn.  (Sponsored by the Elk’s Club)

June 16, National Fudge Day

I don’t have fudge frequently.  When I stop to think of fudge, I think of sugar blended with some flavoring, and fudge comes out.  My parents made great fudge in the Dixie Candy Store that they owned in the 1950s.  I remember a mint chocolate fudge that just melted in my mouth!!!

June 17, National Eat Your Vegetable Day

Someplace along the line, vegetables fell off my regular diet.  I wish I understood why!!  We (whatever that means) always had something from the vegetable family on our plates - broccoli, green beans, or a green salad.  These days, I have onions, beans, colored peppers, and rice (is that grain or a veggie?) in my dishes.  Sometimes I have a green salad (once every two weeks - and by the time I get close to eating my lettuce it has wilted and is not usable.  I think I am going to get the prepackaged salads.

June 18, International Panic Day

International Panic Day, celebrated on June 18, is a day when people are required to panic. Basically, the day is a mock holiday aimed at spreading awareness for mental health issues. No matter how calm you are as an individual, International Panic Day is the day to let out your fears and panic about your worries. Why? International Panic Day rather asks, why not?

BUT …. While it may sound funny, panic is a serious topic

June 19 - Juneteenth

The freedom of African Americans from slavery in the U.S. in 1865 is celebrated on the holiday Juneteenth on June 19. Juneteenth is made up of the words ‘June’ and ‘nineteenth,’ and it is on this day that Major General Gordon Granger arrived in Texas more than 155 years ago to inform slaves that slavery had been abolished.

*****

Some fun today!!!

My goal for 2020 was to lose 10 pounds.  Only have 14 to go!!  (How true!!)   

I Ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons and tomatoes. Really just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce, and cheese.  FINE, it was a pizza... OK, I ate a pizza!  Are you happy now?  (Yes,  I am happy now!!!)

How to prepare Tofu:
a. Throw it in the trash b. Grill some meat, chicken, or fish (I don't know much about Tofu -  would probably like it if I tried it!!)

I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web. 

I don't mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food supply in 3 hours and 20 minutes.  (And, I finished a jigsaw puzzle that said 3 to 6 years, in a month!!) 

A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.  (Bam!!!)

Kids today don't know how easy they have it.  When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.  (For me, it was uphill in both directions to school in snow!!! )

Senility has been a smooth transition for me.  (Yes, dearie!!)

Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero outside they closed school?  Yeah, Me neither.

I may not be that funny or athletic or good-looking or smart or talented.  I forgot where I was going with this.  (But, I am an awesome bridge player!!! - in my mind)

I love approaching 80, I learn something new every day and forget 5 other things. (Like losing my first trick last week and going down one!!!) 

A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money so I got up and searched with him.  (Be sure to check the sofa!!) 

I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day.

 Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.

 Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave the house.

 It’s weird being the same age as old people. (Like the Bridge Brats) 

 When I was a kid I wanted to be older…this is not what I expected.

 Life is like a helicopter.  I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

 Chocolate is God’s way of telling us he likes us a little bit chubby.

 It’s probably my age that tricks people into thinking I’m an adult.

Marriage Counselor:  Your wife says you never buy her flowers.  Is that true?
Him: To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.

Never sing in the shower!  Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked.  So remember…Don’t sing!

If 2020 was a math word problem:  If you’re going down a river at 2 MPH and your canoe loses a wheel, how much pancake mix would you need to re-shingle your roof?

I see people about my age mountain climbing; I feel good getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

So if a cow doesn’t produce milk, is it a milk dud or an udder failure?

If you can’t think of a word, say “I forgot the English word for it.”  That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an idiot.

I’m at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out.

 I’m at that age where my mind still thinks I’m 29, my humor suggests I’m 12, while my body mostly keeps asking if I’m sure I’m not dead yet.

 Don’t be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you.  Your vacuum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for years.

 I’m getting tired of being part of a major historical event.

 I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do it’s because I missed my exit.

 You don’t realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up.

We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

*****

ELEPHANT JOKES!!! Answers later

Years ago there were these stupid elephant jokes!!  And they still are stupid!!!

Q. What's big, grey, and has red spots?

Q. Why did the elephant paint his toenails? 

Q. What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?

Q. What did the mama elephant say to her son when he was naughty?

Q. Why was the elephant afraid of the computer store?

Q. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?

ANSWERS:

Q. What's big, grey, and has red spots?
A. An elephant with chickenpox!

Q. Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?
A. So he could hide in a bowl of cherries.

Q. What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
A. Time to get a new fence.

Q. What did the elephant say to her son when he was naughty?
A. "Tusk tusk!"

Q. Why was the elephant afraid of the computer store?
A. Because they sold the world's best mice.

Q. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?
A. You open the door and put the elephant in and then close the door.

WRAP-UP

It seems like summer is upon us!!!  Stay cool!!! 

May the new week be awesome - just as you are awesome!!!

LOVE WINS!!!

Karen