WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 15, 2021 - TRANSFORMATION

 WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 15, 2021 - TRANSFORMATION

Costumes, masks, transformation - that sounds like ‘change’.  And, change can be uncomfortable!!  

What if my friend who is a biker decides that he really isn’t a biker or doesn’t want to be a biker? Will that mean he needs to get new friends (and drive a Honda?) Will he have to shave his beard?  Will he need different clothes?  What if a nurse decides that she wants to be a lawyer? (I know of a lady who recently completed her nursing degree and is getting out of law enforcement).  What if a professor retires?  

Can we stay the same?  Are you the same as you were at 18 - or at 35 - or at 60?  If you have changed, was it gradual - or sudden?  

Sometimes we do change gradually.  Maybe we get soft and sit and watch television too much?  Maybe we get set in our ways and don’t want to change?  Can the person who has watched too much TV change and had a heart attack change and go to the gym and get fit?

But, is there also sudden change?  What about March 2020 when COVID became a true pandemic?  What about the people who lost jobs?  What about those whose work ended or their hours and their pay was cut back? Over the years hurricanes have affected people and forced change (like Katrina and New Orleans).  Or, a decline in sales forced a business to close. 

I’m thinking back many, many years to when a former electrical lineman came to Dakota State.  He had fallen at work and could no longer be a lineman.  To be honest, he struggled with programming, but a fortunate internship opportunity came up for him to be an RPG programmer.  (I haven’t had interaction with him for years, so I don’t know how it all came out, but for the first couple of years (when I was still in touch with him)  it was an ideal solution for him.)

How about you having a serious health issue?  Or your spouse has a serious health issue?  Can that make you change?  Can a smoker stop?

We say “Change is inevitable” - but many of us don’t really embrace change.  Whether we like it or not, change is occurring.  Our country is becoming more diverse (my blogs about a month ago highlighted the census reports that white Americans will no longer be in the majority in the future).   

How do you handle change?

*****

I didn’t handle change all that well (maybe that is a factor into who I am now).  I had ideas about retirement.  I thought we would travel.  I’ve been to every state but Alaska - and that was on my bucket list.  I haven’t been to all that many National Parks.  How about going to the Grand Canyon or Yosemite?  The Four Corners area?  

I retired and it didn’t happen.  I hadn’t communicated well with my spouse.  Her life really hadn’t changed except I was underfoot all day now - not just on the weekends.  She wasn’t ready for me to retire - or she wasn’t ready for me to be at home all day.  While we didn’t fight, we also didn’t communicate.

  

We had saved for retirement, our house was paid for, we had a very good retirement account, social security and other funds were above average - and then boom - my brain “went south”.  (By-the-way, how did that expression develop - “going south” as meaning more of a negative change happened.)

I felt as if I wasn’t needed.  I didn’t have students who needed me, my spouse didn’t need me, and my life went downhill.  I let stress build up and I had a major health issue - and seemingly, if I wasn’t needed, I went into depression.  I needed to change.  My comfort zone was shrinking.

*****

I was at the community gym yesterday.  Let me comment on the walking track.  A man with a portable oxygen tank was walking on the track..  On other days and times, a lady with a walker goes around the track.  Another lady uses a cane to walk.  My friends John and Marie were there.  John has Parkinson's disease, but they get out and walk most days.  (The gym is air conditioned - so for those hot Texas days, it is a great place to go).  On the basketball court was a group of “Silver Sneakers” - seniors getting exercise in a group setting.  

Time-out - here are a group of seniors (some probably into their 80s or even 90s) - that are attempting to change their lives by getting out of their houses, away from their televisions, away from their kitchens and snacks, and keep active.  

I was practicing with the Granny Basketball team yesterday.  We range from the early 60s to in the 80s. A group of women refusing to give up - to exercise, team activities, and playing basketball as a way to keep their bodies from just shrinking into old age.  (We are going to scrimmage another team this Friday, and go to a tournament in Oklahoma in two weeks!!  Talk about keeping busy!!!)

*****

BUT, change has its price.  The man with the oxygen tank had to make up his mind to stop procrastinating and get to the gym.  Likewise the lady with the walker and John and Marie.  The granny players had to decide to play basketball into their senior years.

It can be comfortable NOT to change - not to step out of our comfort zone.  

*****

My friend had tongue cancer surgery three weeks ago.  It has been a challenge to eat and talk.  She did smoke for several years but did stop some years ago.  But, my neighbor who didn’t smoke the first years I lived in my apartment is now smoking frequently.  Part of me wants to tell her about my friend with tongue cancer, but part of me says (aka - the Holy Spirit)  “She can make her own decisions - don’t be judgmental, Karen”. 

My biker friend also weighs about 60 pounds more than he should.  Should I suggest that carrying extra weight is bad for his health, or keep my mouth shut and not be judgmental with him?

Real, permanent change comes from within.  The person MUST want to change.  And, likewise for us - we get to choose if we want to stay where we are, or change.  It is a major life decision to go outside our comfort zone.  

Transformation isn’t easy - do we want to change, or do we need to change?  

Ah yes, more tomorrow!!!

LOVE WINS!!

Karen