SUNDAY OCTOBER 30, HALLOWEEN EDITION

 SUNDAY - FUNDAY

OCTOBER 30, 2022

THE HALLOWEEN EDITION

Warm-up

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays.  Where else can you dress up and walk around in a costume? (And, get and give out chocolate candy bars!!!)  

Even when I taught I dressed up.  I’ve been a pirate, a cowboy, Zorro, a bottle of ketchup, the Great Pumpkin, a clown, and my old maid sister (maybe that one started something in my brain).  

I don’t think I ever watched a Halloween movie all the way through.  I'm just not into gruesome, scary stuff.  (with a motto of “Love Wins”, all the gore and blood of the movies just isn’t my thing).

I like seeing the little kids come to the door trick or treating.  I even saw something about not despising those teens who come trick or treating - they could be doing something worse (drugs, or drinking).

So, let’s celebrate and enjoy the fun of Halloween.  

*****

TWO HALLOWEEN STORIES:

(borrowed from: https://americanfolklore.net/folklore/2010/07 and adapted)

The Bear Lake Monster:

If you travel to Bear Lake in Montana on a quiet day, you just might catch a glimpse of the Bear Lake Monster. The monster looks like a huge brown snake and is nearly 90 feet long. It has ears that stick out from the side of its skinny head and a mouth big enough to eat a man. According to some, it has small legs and it kind of scurries when it ventures out on land. But in the water - watch out! It can swim faster than a horse can gallop - makes a mile a minute on a good day. Sometimes the monster likes to sneak up on unwary swimmers and blow water at them. It’s been known to carry off the obnoxious and crabby people and when the monster drops them back on the beach, they’re as good as gold.  Seemingly the monster scared the meanness out of them.

A feller I heard about spotted the monster early one evening as he was walking along the lake. He tried to shoot it with his rifle. The man was a crack shot, but not one of his bullets touched that monster. It scared the heck out of him and he hightailed it home faster than you can say Jack Robinson when the monster headed in his direction. All of a sudden the rifle magically flew up in the air, lit up like a rainbow, made a sound like a thousand locomotives, and then ‘poof’ it disappeared.

The monster seems to have a soft spot for kids.  And, somehow, kids seem to know that the monster isn’t scary.  As twilight turns to dusk and dusk to night, the monster has been known to come into the campground next to the lake and entice kids to ride on its back.  The kids come back wet and happy.  (I should know, I was one of those kids many years ago).

Sometimes, when the monster has been quiet for a while, people start saying it is gone for good. Some folks even dredge up that old tale that says how Pecos Bill heard about the Bear Lake monster and bet some cowpokes that he could wrestle that monster until it said, uncle. According to them folks, the fight lasted for days and created a hurricane around Bear Lake. Finally, Bill flung that there monster over his shoulder and it flew so far it went plumb around the world and landed in Loch Ness, where it lives to this day. (But, I know that isn’t true).

Course, we know better than that. The Bear Lake Monster is just hibernating-like. Keep your eyes open at dusk and especially at Halloween, and maybe you'll see it come out to feed. And, if the monster lets you climb on its back, you’ll have a ride you will never forget - after all, I should know.

 

*****

The Railway Ghost

The train rumbled around Sam Malone, as he adjusted the throttle. The night shift was always the toughest, in the engineer's mind - and this was Halloween evening.. He had rumbled through Timpas a few minutes ago and was on his way to Thatcher. Not a bad stretch of road, and there was no better train in the entire Atchison, Topeka & Santa Fe Railroad.  And, while it was debatable, there was no better engineer than Sam Malone.  Six feet, two inches, fists like iron, and a mean streak, Sam had quite a reputation, and it was well deserved.  

He stretched a bit and yawned, trying to stay alert on this long stretch through the Gunnison Valley. Peering out into the inky blackness he gasped. The lights had picked up the figure of a beautiful woman with long red-gold hair and wonderful blue eyes standing right next to the tracks just 300 feet ahead of the train. Too near! He sounded his horn to warn her away. And then he realized that the light was shining right through her. She was a ghost!

She stepped into the center of the track, laughing and beautiful. Sam tried to slow the train but she disappeared seconds before the train would have rushed right through her. And then she was there, in the engine cab next to him. Her gossamer dress floated around her and the scent of roses filled the air.  Her lips were full, but the bewitching feature was her eyes.

Now, we know we talk with our mouths, but this beauty talked with her eyes.  She was saying “hug me, kiss me”.  And, even Sam Malone couldn’t resist.  He stared at the ghostly vision, bewitched by her beauty. With an enticing smile, she wrapped ghostly arms about his neck and kissed him.  The kiss was as gentle as a butterfly landing on your hand and as powerful as a sledgehammer driving nails into railroad ties.  Her breath was ambrosia, her touch cold as ice and as hot as a blacksmith’s fire.  

Those talking eyes said “I’ll see you again”, and poof - she disappeared.

Dazed, Sam finished the run to Thatcher in a trance, completely forgetting to stop at the station. The fireman had to slap Sam and pour water on his head to snap him out of it.

Sam decided not to tell anyone about the ghost, fearing for his job. But he was plagued by curiosity. Finally, in a bar in Dodge City one night he confided the story to a fellow engineer. To his surprise, the friend had heard about the ghost before. The ghost's appearance on the train was by no means uncommon. No one knew who the woman had been in life. But she always appeared on that stretch of track after dark on Halloween, beckoning to the men on the railroad crew with a bewitching smile. Sometimes, said his friend, sometimes she would come right onto the train!

***

Next year, Sam requested that run through Gunnison on Halloween.  His eyes scanned the tracks after passing through Timpas, and - there she was.  This time he slowed the train and stopped.  The ghost came into the cab and Sam and the ghost kissed passionately.  Even the fireman saw them together.

Then, right before the fireman’s eyes, Sam turned transparent and the two flew out of the cab.  

***

It's been many years since Sam Malone and the golden-haired beauty first haunted the rails outside of Timpas but every year Sam and the girl show up on Halloween night.  Amtrak runs a passenger line through the Gunnison valley, and they say on Halloween evening, the front booth in the dining car is reserved for the ghostly couple to sip sarsaparilla and kiss.  (I should know, I’ve seen them!!!)

*****

JOKES FOR KIDS

Q: What is a mummy’s favorite type of music?  A: Wrap!
Q: What do little trees say on Halloween?  A: Twig or Treat!
Q: What kind of instrument do you play on Halloween?  A: A SPOOKulele!|
Q: What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock a door? A: A SPOOKey!
Q: What do you call a dead detective? A: Sherlock Bones!
Q: Why didn’t the vampire bite Taylor Swift? A: She had bad blood!
Q: What do ghosts say when something is really neat?  A: Ghoul!
Q: Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators? A: It raises their spirits!
Q: What do little monsters call their parents? A: Mummy and Deady!
Q: What do skeletons say before eating? A: Bone Appetit!
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go see the scary movie? A: He didn’t have the guts!
Q: What is a monster’s favorite bean? A: A Human Bean!
Q: Where do most werewolves live? A: In Howlywood, CA
Q: What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?  A: Spelling!
Q: What do eye doctors give out on Halloween as treats? A: Candy Corneas!
Q: Which plants like Halloween the most?  A: BamBOO!
Q: What is a ghost’s favorite ride at the fair?  A: The RollerGhoster!
Q: What part of the street do skeletons live on?  A: The dead end!
Q: Why do they put fences around graveyards?  A: Because people are dying to get in!
Q: What did the ghost say when his friend lied to him?  A: I can see right through you!
Q: What is Dracula’s favorite circus act?  A: He always goes for the juggler!
Q: What do you call a kind and considerate monster?  A: A complete failure!
Q: Why didn’t the students like their teacher who was also a vampire?  A: There were too many blood tests!
Q: What do birds give out on Halloween night?  A: Tweets!
Q: What’s the problem with twin witches?  A: You never know which witch is which!

WRAP-UP

Happy Halloween

Enjoy your Halloween

LOVE WINS!!

Karen White, October 30, 2022