MONDAY, JULY 31, 2023 - SAYING NO

 MONDAY, JULY 31, 2023 - LAST DAY OF JULY 2023

Scenario 1:  Karen is getting ready to go to the Georgetown Recreation Center and walk. She receives a text, "Could you work for Trisha this evening?". Karen says, "Yes."

Scenario 2: Our beloved BCBB director died - we need to create a new leadership group. Karen volunteers to be on the board.

Scenario 3:  My friend calls me. 
"Hey Karen, I'm renting a place at Port Aransas for a few days. Can you go in with me?"

Karen says, "That would be fun, sure. I can do that."

But then, she has to organize what she wants to take and wear. 

Scenario 4:  It is 8:30 pm, and Karen arrives home from work at the senior facility- tired and a bit crabby. She realizes that she still needs to write a blog for tomorrow. And she takes pride in having a blog post every day - 365 (or 366) days a year.   She sits down and writes something - that isn't excellent writing, but … hey - she wrote a blog post.

*****

Karen stops and thinks (#1), "But I must keep walking to stay healthy. But I can use the treadmill in my apartment complex exercise room."

Karen stops and thinks (#2). "But, I'm more relaxed than was in Connecticut. One year, my night schedule was: Cheshire Symphony Rehearsal on Monday night; Quinnipiac Pep Band Rehearsal on Tuesday night (and I'm the faculty advisor, so I should be there); Brass Quintet practice on Wednesday night;  Hamden Symphony Rehearsal on Thursday nights, and in the winter probably pep band playing for hockey games or basketball games on Friday, Saturday, and sometimes on Sunday.  

Karen stops and thinks (#3) - "What did I just sign on for? It is over 4 hours to drive to Port Aransas. It's going to be expensive. Was this a priority for me?  

Karen stops and thinks (#4). "Okay, what if I missed a day. Will anybody care or notice?"

*****

All the above are true, primarily because Karen doesn't know how to prioritize things. She has work (two evenings a week - unless she says 'yes' to more evenings). She likes her little income (it pays for gas in the car and lunch out with MN, JP, and others). And she really enjoys helping other people!!!

She has Granny Basketball (those away games are bad for her schedule. She needs (or wants) to be back the same evening so she can work the next day. Unlike the others on the team, Granny Basketball is not a priority for her. But it has become her "aerobics class."

Orchestra - she likes playing in the orchestra (and the BCBB and brass quintet). But she is almost 76 and the oldest in the orchestra (by a few months). She needs to replace her tuba - but that's expensive and not a good investment at age 76. (And, she hopes for her final concert to direct the orchestra on the Firebird Suite - last two movements).

Blog - she likes to think she is a writer. (She also recognizes that she has yet to be a good writer). And the blog takes time. The current Civil War novel on Saturday requires research into Civil War battles and actual facts.  

Health - Karen is still getting younger. She wants to be in good shape for her senior years, but the twenty pounds she has been carrying isn't good for her. She wants to do the Duolingo German lessons for at least another three months (that will be four years of "daily" tasks. She likes doing Words With Friends (it keeps her brain fresh). She likes the Suduko (good thought process).  

She likes doing her "Through the Bible in a Year," but last week, she fell four days behind - OUCH.  

So, the question is, "What part of "NO" doesn't Karen understand?"

*****

Looking to the future - what do her priorities need to be? What can she say "NO" to, and what must she say "YES" to? (And does it really matter to anybody other than herself?)

Years ago, somebody suggested that I am a "YES PERSON." I like to say "YES." I want to be in the center of the universe. Am I working to "get into heaven?" (No). Do I like to keep RP, MN, and BM happy when they ask for rides? Yes, I do - I fit it into my tight schedule.

I have friends who go to movies - I "can't" - because I have to write my blogs. Taking last week off, I did see two movies on Netflix - because I was away from home.

I don't know how to relax.  

I don't want much television. If I'm free in the late evening, I will watch reruns of Johnny Carson (9:00 to 10:00 pm). But that might make my blogs late (or watered down because I needed to take the time to write well).

So, who can I blame? Nobody - except myself. I need to learn how to say "no" gracefully.  

*****

But I have to keep going. I have to bring the message that LOVE WINS; I have to preach that LOVE TRANSFORMS; and who will say, "I can only Love God as much as the person I love the least" if I don't say it?

But (I'm grinning now), I know that LOVE WINS.  

Yep - keep going, Karen - keep grinning, keep loving, keep praying, keep being a good neighbor, keep being kind and friendly.  

KAREN ANNE WHITE, ©, JULY 31, 2023