SUNDAY, FUNDAY, JULY 2ND, 2023

 SUNDAY FUNDAY

JULY 2ND, 2023

WOW 

June is gone!!!  In two days, it will be the Fourth of July!!!  

Did you have fireworks when your children were growing up?  Depending on what you consider fireworks, we had sparklers, and maybe something like tanks that shoot off sparks, but nothing more than that.  I know of families that go all out for fireworks.  

Isn't the Fourth of July great? In addition to being a celebration of America's independence as a nation, there's no school, lots of families have barbecues or cookouts, and you can go see fireworks display at night.

The safest way to enjoy fireworks is at a professional display. Some people light sparklers at home or even set off their own fireworks, but this is dangerous. Some of the people hurt each year aren't the ones setting off the fireworks, but people who are nearby.

It's best to stay away from areas where nonprofessionals are setting off fireworks. Fireworks can cause serious eye injuries, including blindness, if the eye tissue gets damaged or torn. Other common injuries from fireworks include burns to the hands and face, which can leave scars. Someone could even lose one or more fingers if fireworks go off the wrong way. Fireworks can also start fires, which can hurt even more people.

If you know someone who plans to set off fireworks at home, here are some safety tips to share:

• Only adults should light fireworks.

• Never use fireworks indoors.

• Be prepared to put out a fire by having a hose or water nearby.

• Light fireworks one at a time.

• Stay away from a firework that has not gone off and never try to relight it.

Sparklers may seem less dangerous than fireworks, but they get extremely hot — as hot as 1,800°F (982°C). Sparklers can light clothes on fire and can cause kids to get badly burned. That would take the fun out of a great holiday!

AND … REMEMBER - shooting off fireworks in a town is generally illegal (and scares dogs and war veterans!!)

HUMOR (thanks Nancyanana) 

I once dated a girl who broke up with me because I only have 9 toes. Yes, she was lack-toes intolerant.

I was walking in the jungle and saw a lizard on his hind legs telling jokes. I turned to a local tribal leader and said, "That lizard is really funny!" The leader replied, "That's not a lizard. He's a stand-up chameleon."

Six cows were smoking joints and playing poker. That's right. The steaks were pretty high.

I went to the paint store to get thinner. It didn't work.

I've started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes.  It's all about raisin awareness.

Singing in the shower is fine until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a soap opera.

I was struggling to understand how lightning works and then it struck me!

I've started investing in stocks: beef, vegetable, chicken.  One day I hope to be a bouillianaire.

If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock.  Now that's humerus.

I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes.  Now I have Heinzsight.

Did you know muffins spelled backwards is what you do when you take them out of the oven?  (sniffum)

*****

Fourth of July jokes:

1. How come there aren’t any knock-knock jokes about America? Because freedom rings.

2. What kind of tea did the American colonists want? Liber-tea.

3. What’s the difference between a duck and George Washington? One has a bill on his face, and the other has his face on a bill.

4. What did the colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party? Tea-shirts.

5. What was George Washington’s favorite tree? The infantry.

6. What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cattle feed? The Fodder of Our Country!

7. What was the most popular dance in 1776? Indepen-dance.

8. What does the Statue of Liberty stand for? It can’t sit down.

9. If you crossed a Patriot with a curly-haired dog, what would you get? A Yankee Poodle.

10. What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with fireworks? Dino-mite!

11. What ghost haunted King George III? The spirit of ’76!

12. What do our flag and a sad candy cane have in common? They’re both red, white and blue.

*****

WRAP-UP

Do enjoy the celebration of American Independence.  And, remember it is “life, liberty and the PURSUIT of happiness”!!!

Blessings!!

Karen White, July 2, 2023