Saturday, November 18, 2023

SUNDAY FUNDAY - NOVEMBER 19, 2023

 SUNDAY FUNDAY - NOVEMBER 19, 2023

  





NEXT THURSDAY IS THANKSGIVING - are up ready? Today, I’m at a friend’s house celebrating Friendsgiving


TURKEY JOKES

"What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?" "Drumsticks for everyone!"

"Why did the turkey stand on stilts?" "Because nobody eats flamingoes for Thanksgiving dinner." 

"Why wasn't the turkey hungry on Thanksgiving? It was already stuffed."

"What's a turkey without feathers called? Thanksgiving dinner " 

"What's a turkey's favorite dessert? Peach gobbler!"

"If you call a turkey a gobbler, what do you call a small one? A goblet " 

"Why should you never set the turkey next to the dessert? Because he will gobble, gobble it up!"  

"What sound does a turkey's phone make? Wing wing wing!"  

"You're looking a little (Pil)grim "

"What should you say when your family begs you to stop making these jokes? "I can't quit cold turkey!" 

"Why did the cranberries turn red? Because they saw the turkey dressing."

"What side dish do you bring for Thanksgiving dinner when you accidentally sit on the sweet potatoes? Squash casserole." 

What do you say to the winner of the corn-shucking contest? Corn-gratulations.

How many pastry chefs does it take to make a pie? 3.14.

Why are Thanksgiving bread jokes always funny? Because they never get mold.

What did the mashed potatoes say to the sweet potatoes? I yam what I yam!

Why did the cornbread get in trouble? It wouldn't stop loafing around.

What do you call a baker who only makes pies? The Pie-oneer Woman.

What did one pumpkin pie say to the other? "You wanna piece of me?"

Why should you never tell secrets in a cornfield? Because the corn has ears.

What did Dad say when he was asked to say grace? "Grace."

How did the Thanksgiving cheese plate go over? Everyone was grateful.

What do sweet potatoes wear to bed? Yammies.

What did the Thanksgiving turkey say to the Christmas ham? Nice to meat you.

Why don’t side dishes tell jokes? They’re too corny.

What do you call a sad cranberry? A blueberry.

What do you need to make Thanksgiving s'mores? Pil-grahams.

Where can you get turkey stock in bulk? The stock market.

What did the president say when presented with a poorly cooked turkey? “Is it too late for a pardon?”

What does grandma say when you burn the holiday meal? Oh, good gravy!

How did you find Grandma’s turkey this year? I just looked next to the gravy.

Why did the cranberries turn red? Because they saw the turkey dressing.

What side dish do you bring for Thanksgiving dinner when you accidentally sat on the sweet potatoes? Squash casserole.

Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive? It had 24 carrots.

How did the salt and pepper welcome all the guests? By saying, "Seasoning's greetings!"

What vegetables would you like with your Thanksgiving dinner? Beets me!

Why did the policeman stop you on your way home last Thanksgiving? Because you far exceeded your feed limit.

*****


KIDS DESCRIBE HOW TO COOK TURKEYS


These are directions from elementary school children on cooking the Thanksgiving turkey


First get sugar, butter, vinegar, salt and dressing. Then spread the butter and the dressing on the turkey. Put it in the oven for 1,000,000 hours. It should be steaming hot by then. Then add the vinegar, sugar and salt. Then when you add all the spices enjoy a fresh baked turkey.  (Hmmm - a million hours might be a little long!!!)


First cut off the turkey’s head. Then pluck the feathers off. Stuff it. Cook it at 1,000,000 degrees. Then take it out. Then get the biggest knife you have. Finally cut it into slices. First one to eat it without cooling gets cranberry sauce.  (A million degrees is just a little too hot!!)


First you will kill a turkey. Then you pluck off the feathers with an eyelash plucker. Next you say sorry to the turkey. Then if you want it to be a cake stuff carrot cake in it. Next you can stuff a stick of butter and popcorn. Then you put it in the microwave for 30 minutes. Last, you get it out of the oven and sit down at the table and enjoy.


First you kill the turkey. Next you put spices on it. Then you stuff your siblings in it. Finally you throw it away or eat it. Enjoy!  (Nice kid - wants to stuff his siblings into the turkey!!!)


First you go to Wal-Mart and buy a frozen turkey. Then shove it in the microwave and set it on one hour. Be sure to check it every fifteen minutes. Once it is done, stuff it. Then serve it on a plate with cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes and corn.


First you go and kill a turkey. Then you take it home and marinate it. Then you cook the turkey and leave the feathers on the turkey. After it’s cooked you have to go set it on the table. Then everyone gets a feather to wear. But sometimes people say no. Then you eat them.  (Must be some hunting families to go out and kill the turkey)


First you buy it then you unwrap it. Then you put some onions inside of it then you seazen it. Then you put it in the oven to bank.



THANKSGIVING LOGIC PUZZLE

Lynette, Paul, Lorri, and Louis each have a different favorite Thanksgiving food. Use the clues to decide whose favorite is turkey, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie, and sweet potatoes.

1. Louis sent a Thanksgiving card to the person whose favorite food grows underground.
2. Lorri is vegetarian.
3. Paul and Louis’s favorite Thanksgiving foods are orange. 


WRAP-UP


Have an awesome Thanksgiving!!! I am grateful for the fun we have every Thursday!!!  May God bless you this THANKSGIVING.



THE SOLUTION TO THANKSGIVING PUZZLE:

Lynette’s favorite food is turkey. Paul’s favorite food is sweet potatoes. Lorri’s favorite food is cranberry sauce. Louis’s favorite food is pumpkin pie



Some humorous signs


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