SUNDAY FUNDAY - OCTOBER 20, 2024

 SUNDAY FUNDAY 

OCTOBER 20, 2024

PETS

JOKE

They say that Dogs are a man’s best friend.  Bobby Wayne put his wife, Shirley, in his car trunk for thirty minutes and drove around.  When he opened his trunk, she yelled and screamed at him.  Then he put his dog in his trunk and went around thirty minutes again.  When he opened the trunk, the dog came out, tail wagging, licking the man, and excited to be with him.  Bobby Wayne concluded that “Dogs are man’s best friends”!!!

*****

People like their pets—and pets like their people (owners?). For older people, pets can fill the void left by losing a spouse. I haven’t had a pet. I think I am busy enough with bridge, granny basketball, orchestra, band, writing, and my other activities; it wouldn’t be fair to the pet. 

People love their pets so much because:

• Pets provide simple love, availability, and presence we live for.

• Pets are not cognitively complex and mainly live to connect and be present with us.

• Studies show that kids who have pets enjoy higher self-esteem, cognitive development, and social skills.

• Pet owners are healthier and happier.

• Buying something for a pet makes people happier than buying something for themselves or someone else.

• Pet owners report being less lonely and enjoying a higher sense of self-esteem and life satisfaction.

• Pets can contribute toward emotional stability by teaching us to be more mindful, loving us for who we are, and playing different roles all at once.

(Psychology Today) 

DOG JOKES

• I can't take my dog to the local pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. It's my fault for choosing a pure bread dog.

• What’s the best way to stop your dog from barking in the front yard? Put him in the backyard.

• Why did the poor dog chase his own tail? He was trying to make both ends meet!

• What's a dog's favorite mode of transportation? A waggin'!

• Why do dogs tend to run in circles? Because it's really hard to run in squares.

• What kind of dog never throws anything away? A hoarder collie.

• Why are dogs such terrible dancers? Because they have two left feet.

• The secret to life is to handle every situation like a dog: If you can’t play with it, eat it, or bury it, just pee on it and walk away.

• What did the police officer do when he saw a dog giving birth on the side of the road? He gave her a ticket for littering.

• What do you call a wild dog that meditates? Aware wolf.

• How did the dog get from Boston to Austin? He took a Greyhound.

• Why did the cowboy get a Dachshund? He wanted to get a long, little doggy!

• My dog’s not fat; he’s just a little Husky.

• Why are there no losers in a Dachshund race? They’re all weiners.

• Why are border collies such good listeners? Because you can tell they really herd you.

• What did the Dalmatian say when he finished dinner? That hit the spot.

• What’s a herding dog’s favorite game? Hide and sheep.

CAT JOKES

• What do cats call a nice dinner? A fancy feast.

• Why are kittens excellent bosses? They have great littership.

• What’s a cat’s favorite dessert? A mice cream cone.

• What do you call a cat who loves to bowl? An alley cat.

• Who was the most powerful cat in China? Chairman Miaow.

• Why don’t kittens play fetch? They’d rather catch a nap.

• What’s a cat’s favorite jacket? A purr coat.

• What do you call a cat prom? A Fur Ball.

• What do you call a fluffy male cat asleep on a bed? A Himalayan.

• What did the alien say to the cat? Take me to your litter.

• Did you hear about the cat that climbed the Himalayas? She was a sher-paw.

• What kind of cats teach college classes? Purr-fessors.

• Why did the cat have trouble writing his second novel? He only had one tail to tell.

• What is a cat’s way of keeping law and order? Claw enforcement.

• Why does the cat do stand-up? He lives for the a-paws.

• Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool? She had mittens.

• Why was the cat so small? Because it only ate condensed milk!

• Why was the cat sitting on the computer? To keep an eye on the mouse!

• What did the cat say about her intuition? "I just had a feline."

• What did one cat say while her friend was complaining? "Tail me about it."

• How did the cat comic know he was funny? The audience was yowling with laughter.

WRAP UP

Politically, you will be bombarded with political ads for the next two weeks.  Early voting in Texas starts on Monday, October 21st.) 

Next week will be the monthly pot-luck at Stone Haven.

The Brushy Creek Brass Band will perform on Saturday, the 26th, starting at 6:30. Last week, we had a large audience.

Halloween is eleven days away. 

LOVE WINS

Karen Anne White, October 20, 2024