THURSDAY, OCTOBER 31 - HALLOWEEN

Finally, it is Halloween!!  But today’s blog has a bit of a serious side to it.

On Halloween, we dress up in masks, costumes, colored hair, house (apartment) decorations, and parties.

But do we wear costumes and masks all the time?

It wasn’t quite a costume, but I wore a suit and tie most days while teaching.  I’d walk into the classroom, loudly say, “WOOO,” and then take off my coat.  I did allow for some individuality as I had a whole set of cartoon ties.  Rocky and Bullwinkle, Boris and Natasha, Bugs Bunny (as a football player in green and gold with #5 - I thought it was Brett Fahre), Daffy, Christmas ties, and most holiday ties.  It wasn’t so much of a costume as the “real me.”

Was it me - or a costume for who I want to appear to those around me?

Now, I wear a lot of dresses and skirts.  I ALWAYS prefer bright colors (and did as a professor).  I like red and orange as active colors.  Various studies indicate that the pastel's blue and green colors are calming, with the red and the orange subtly making us want to be active.  (The cover on my dissertation is orange!!)  

Over the years, I’ve asked myself, “Who am I?” I still do!!  Am I a man acting like a woman?  Am I a woman? Am I deranged?  Am I normal?  Am I unique?  Am I a beacon of agape love, forgiveness, and understanding?  

We do get to choose who we are.  

There is an old story about a soldier who thought he was average, but the army made him take an intelligence test, and he scored in the top two percent of all people. In effect, he was a genius. Before that test, he dressed as a normal, average man, but after the test, he dressed as a genius.  

My senior artist friend that I see in the nursing home (TL) was (is?) a MENSA person.  MENSA defines itself as: “Mensa is the world's largest and oldest high-IQ society. It is a non-profit organization open to people who score at the 98th percentile or higher on a standardized, supervised IQ or other approved intelligence test.”  What skill or personality trait puts you in the top 2%?

So, who am I, and what is my ordinary mask and regular costume?  

*****

By my personal definition, I am a lover - agape (not eros).  I also have some ego left, although I am working on humility.  I like being funny and bringing joy to others.  While I don’t have a regular mask, I “wear” a smile (or a grin) most times.  I think I can really be an introvert, but over 77 years, I have become an extrovert in public.  (I’m writing this at my apartment in a very subdued, introverted manner.)

Who do I want people to see when they see me?  

I hope they see an upbeat, happy woman.  I hope they see somebody they can trust who is friendly and will go out of their way to be helpful.  

Am I hiding behind a mask?  I don’t think so (and don’t want to be).  

:

But I always tell the truth.  I don’t say, “Boy, are you ugly,” “You’re fat,” or “You’re stupid.”  I rarely give advice (unless asked for).  “Gee AB, you would look better if you didn’t wear clothes like that,” “Hey MJ, don’t be so judgmental,” and “You’d be happier if you stopped smoking.”  

Some of those suggestions can be of value, but the person might need more time to hear them.  I’m not implying that I don’t love you, but I think it is inappropriate to impose upon another.  Suggestions are one millimeter from judging the person - and judgment is for God.

As a dean and department chair, I had to give staff evaluations- I hated doing that.  I remember a story of how a boss was upset with one of his employees and, on the annual performance review, was ready to fire him.  The boss asked, “What did you work on this last year?”.  The employees instantly gave a full list of great activities they did for the company, such as improving processes and products.  The employee went on for a few minutes - not bragging but appropriately commenting on their accomplishments. By the end of the half-hour annual performance review, the boss was ready to promote the employee.  The employee was doing many things, but not in an obvious way.  

*****

But today, Halloween, I will be sporting a costume, having fun, and encouraging others to laugh. I will be seeing my nursing home residents and staff tonight. I hope to put a smile on their faces.  

(Aside, I make people happy - sometimes I make them happy when I enter a room where they are, and sometimes I make them happy when I leave the room!!!)

*****

On my performance evaluation, I hope to hear the manager say, “Well done, Good and Faithful Servant” (Matthew 25:21).  

LOVE WINS (and humor and laughter wins on Halloween)

LOVE TRANSFORMS (Scrooge changed from a greedy person to a loving person).

Happy Halloween!!!

Karen Anne White, October 31, 2024