TUESDAY, OCTOBER 8, 2024

 TUESDAY, OCTOBER 8, 2024 - DIVORCE (HUH?)

In many churches that follow a standard lectionary, last Sunday (October 6, 2024) had a gospel on divorce. This standard lectionary divides the scriptures into three sections - A, B, and C.  While it doesn’t completely cover the entire Bible, on Sundays, it gets all (I think) of the four gospels and substantive parts of the Old Testament.  For those wanting to read the Bible in three years, some groups put the “lesser” parts into daily scripture readings.  (I use an app on my iPhone to go through the Bible in a year - yes, it can be tedious to have some Old Testament Genealogies and other readings).

*****

Anyway, the Gospel for Sunday was Mark 10:2-9

 Some Pharisees tested him by asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”

“What did Moses command you?” he replied.

They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a divorce certificate and send her away.”

It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,” Jesus replied. “But at the beginning of creation, God ‘made them male and female.’ For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’So they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

*****

The topic is ugly —divorce. But I will take it in a different direction today: feminism. (Thanks to Marek for discussing this.)

First, many marriages were arranged at the time of Jesus.  Mary and Joseph had an arranged marriage.  Their parents negotiated with another set of parents (or, since women were very little more than chattel (property)), the two men negotiated on a marriage price!!

I can only imagine the discussion.  

(Robert) Hey Fred, my daughter is of marrying age, and your son is ready to marry. How about you give me ten cows, ten sheep, and 100 gallons of soybean oil, and your son can marry my sweet, precious daughter?

Fred (laughing) - No way.  How about one cow, one sheep, and 1 gallon of soybean oil?

Robert: Sorry, but my daughter is worth a lot more than that. She can cook and clean, knit and sew, and is a great gardener and hard worker.

Fred - And she is as ugly as you are.  

(Okay, the discussions continue - like two horse breeders agreeing on a sale price)

*****

The Old Testament says:  “Moses permitted a MAN to write a divorce certificate and send her away.”

(How chauvinistic!!!) The man can divorce the woman, but the woman must stay with the man.  Supposedly, an unmarried woman would be almost worthless without a man. How could she feed herself?  Did she have to move back in with her parents?  What if her parents didn’t accept her?  What if the man’s parents demanded a refund on the marriage dowry?  

Divorce in first-century Israel might put the woman on the street with no financial support (no alimony).  In some cases, the woman might become a beggar (we have a lot of them on our street corners), or (oh my) a prostitute!!   Similar things happened after World War 1 and 2 - German women - with no job, maybe her husband died in the war, went out on the streets to sell themselves (and, if not, to die)

Jesus is saying, “Hey guys - you can’t just say I’m tired of this woman - so I’m divorcing her.”  

*****

I personally don’t like divorce.  People need to work out their conflicts - couples need to communicate and not keep it in.  I think a little aspect of my divorce was that we both had changed and in retirement we didn’t talk.  Of course, she was right when she said “You’re not the man I married”.  But the reality was that after 47 years neither one of us was the same .  We both were older, maybe wiser - but probably not, 

*****

We have to get away from old time gender models.  I have issues with Ephesians 5:22 - “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.” and 5:33 - “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” - (hey doesn’t the man have to respect his wife?).  

If men can just say "I don't like her - she's history", then women should be able to say, "He has abused me - I have to get away from him". But, what is fair for the man should be fair for the woman.

As recently as 1974, if a woman (single or not) wanted a bank loan, she had to have a man co-sign the papers. It hasn't been fair. Jesus tried to move us into fair and equal - it just takes a long time. (And, don't get started how men can control what goes on in a woman's body.)

LOVE EACH OTHER - LOVE EACH OTHER UNCONDITIONALLY

But, don’t apply old cultural aspects to modern lives and modern marriages. Marriages where their is abuse - physicial or emotional/mental need to work it out -  and, divorce sometimes is the answer to end an abusive situation.

Karen Anne White, October 8, 2024