LOVE WINS - FRIDAY, DECEMBER 11, 2020

 LOVE WINS - FRIDAY, DECEMBER 11, 2020

Some references from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/tech-support/201703/daughters-unloving-mothers-mourning-the-mom-you-deserved

Yes, LOVE DOES WIN!!!  

This comes from my friend Char:

“sigh...we are on the downhill slide...told Mom I was making one of her favorites for her tomorrow, potato soup...blank look...asked her if she knew what potato soup was...she didn’t”.

I know others of you with aging parents.  My ex-wife’s mother had dementia and on good days recognized some of her family, and on other days, she didn’t.  She was in a ‘locked-down’ facility her last two years as prior to that, she wandered the streets around her house and got lost a few times.  One of her sons got her an apartment in a senior complex, and they found that she didn’t know how to use a key to get into her room.

So, Yes - aging happens; Yes - lots of things can happen.  My mother’s mind was sharp until she died at age 98, but her body deteriorated. 

So what can we do?  

LOVE OUR PARENTS

From the Ten Commandments (commandment #4)

““Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you” Exodus 20:12

And similarly: 

“‘Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, that your days may be prolonged and that it may go well with you on the land which the Lord your God gives you. Deuteronomy 5:16

“Listen to your father who begot you, And do not despise your mother when she is old”, Proverbs 23:21

So, we have one (and only one) thing to do.  Love your parents.  Honor your father and your mother.

BUT …

Some people have parents (and mothers) who weren’t loving and kind.  That is too bad, but - we are to love our parents anyway - 

In the linked article we have this:

 "As I started finally to see her for what she was and how she will never be the mother I need and want, I started standing up for myself and setting boundaries, and her anger and insults got worse. Finally, I put my foot down and told her I would no longer tolerate her behavior and stopped all contact. And, NOW, I am really in mourning. I finally acknowledged the truth, and it hurts like hell. And I’m at the age where some of my friends are starting to lose their moms to old age and their stories, of times with their moms, are heartbreaking to me… I guess I just started this mourning process, and I’m still in it." —Annie

Yes, I know I am simplistic and a Pollyanna.

But, I am to love all people, and love my parents in particular; and to my friend Char, who has cared for her mother for many years, go ahead and make the potato soup - even if she doesn’t remember that she likes it; go ahead and love her unconditionally.  

BECAUSE - LOVE WINS - and in this case, it is the only resource left for us.

And, to repeat:

“Listen to your father who begot you, And do not despise your mother when she is old”, Proverbs 23:21

LOVE WINS!!!

HUGS!!!

Karen