THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 29, 2022 - SENIOR LIVING - IV

This week, I’ve been writing about my first year as a Personal Care Assistant at a Senior Living facility.  

Today I’m writing about the memory care unit.

From my limited experience in the past, memory care has to be draining for the staff and for the residents.

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During my training when I shadowed other personal care assistants, I visited the memory care unit.   My trainer and I sat outside next to her resident.  We talked casually about the job and the resident just sat there.  

Later at dinner, one of the residents (I think she might have been new to the floor), “dressed for dinner” - with her pearls and lipstick.  But, she overdid the lipstick and she looked like a circus clown.  I felt sorry for her.  Since then, she has become a friend.

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Fast forward, my resident who has been a Mensa person, an artist, and had a stroke was relocated to the memory unit.  (She had developed incontinence and needed help with adult diapers and cleaning herself).  That was about eight months ago, and I visited her generally twice a week.  I try to do an activity.  Early on, since she was an artist, I got art books from the public library, and I tried to do some easy crafts.  I had printed coloring pages but she didn’t like coloring.  I got some 100-piece jigsaw puzzles but she didn’t like doing the puzzles.  When she discovered the checkerboard, we found an activity that she can play that keeps her thinking and she enjoys.  

I remember the resident who was largely ignored by the caregiver when I shadowed a caregiver.  My brain rebelled.  These are people, yes, their memory might be gone, but their humanness is still there.   

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About two months ago there was an incident.  One of the two men on the floor “lost it”.  He came out of his room at dinner time and thought all of the residents were in his house.  He was yelling “Get out of my house.  I didn’t invite you.  Why are you eating my food? ".  He was walking around and unhappy.  

On my last visit, a lady came to me in tears.  “I have to get home to my husband, can you help me?”.  Tough question, how should I respond?  “I am so sorry, I can’t get you home.  You’ll have to ask the manager?”  

Another resident can be critical of others.  But, most just sit - resigned to the fate that they are locked in and never getting out.  

One resident followed me to the locked door (I have a code to get in or out).  She wanted to go visit her parents who were coming for a visit.  (I’m assuming her parents are dead).  Her brain wanted out of the space - wanted freedom - and her lie was her creation to get out.  

Another watched the exit door carefully and as a person came in and before the exit lock turned red, he got out.  Three staff members went out to get him and return him.

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I’ve known of dementia/Alzheimer's people in the past.  I know a lady, living in her own home, who took a walk every day and one day just couldn’t find her way home.  Now most of us at some point or another get lost.  But this lady just wandered until she couldn’t walk anymore.  A friend saw her and took her home.

Aging is not much fun - losing our thinking skills, losing our bodily functions, falling, and being confused are common.  Several of my residents are ready for God - however, they view Him/Her/It/The Force.   I know of one who has seemingly abandoned God.  They have a weekly worship service in the memory care ward, but she doesn’t attend.  Her daughter said she was active in a church at one point in time but somehow lost her faith.  (Or maybe she still has faith, but has lost acceptance of preachers and ministers.)

On my last visit as they finished off their dinner, I started to sing.  I sang “I know an old lady who swallowed a fly, I don’t know why she swallowed that fly, perhaps she’ll die” (with all the verses); then the Farmer in the Dell, They seemed to enjoy the fun of singing silly songs.

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I try to bring light, happiness, and love when I visit my resident in the memory care unit.  The picture is from last Sunday when I made headbands for my resident, myself, and one other resident.  I blow up balloons - and then let them go flying around the room, or let the air squeak out as I stretch the opening.  We’ve done paper airplanes, origami, valentine’s cards for my resident’s family, a mobile of her family, and paper chains (orange and black for Halloween, red and green for Christmas) to decorate her room.  One thing that seems to be missing is fun.  Can I bring fun to those abandoned by society and who have lost their memories?  

I’m thinking of the upcoming Halloween.  How can I (we) make this a fun event?  Can we have cheap (or free) costumes and decorations?  

I say “We are all made in the image and likeness of God”.  That implies that we are all God’s children - whether we are sane, able-bodied kids, or filled with dementia and thoughts of death.  

Love wins - even with those who have lost love, to those who no longer can understand love.  

If you can visit some senior friends this week it would be great - and if you know somebody with dementia, be patient and love them!!!

LOVE WINS!!!

Karen White, September 29, 2022, ©