SUNDAY FUNDAY
SEPTEMBER 18, 2022
THE FOOTBALL EDITION
YES THE FOOTBALL EDITION
It’s fall, it’s getting a little cooler (or, it's not quite as hot) - and it is football season.
So, let’s do a ‘football-themed’ Sunday Funday.
***
College football teams have been playing for a few weeks, the National Football League started last weekend.
When I grew up, Baseball was America’s Sport but I think football has taken over. I don’t have a television, but last Saturday I went to my apartment’s exercise room and watched a little of the Texas-Alabama game (so close, so close); and a little of the Nebraska-Southern Georgia game (my Ph.D. is from Nebraska)
*****
JOKES
What football player smells nicest? The scenter (center)!
What tea do football players drink? Penal-Tea
How do football players deal with their problems? Tackle them head-on.
What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine? Give me my ‘quarter back’
What do you call 20 Detroit Lion fans in the basement? A Whine Cellar.
What do the Detroit Lions and possums have in common? Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
How do you keep the Detroit Lions out of your front yard? Put up goal posts.
What did the receiver say to the football? Catch you later.
Why was Cinderella such a poor football player? Her coach was a pumpkin.
What happens to football players who go blind? They become referees.
Which football player wears the biggest helmet? The one with the biggest head.
STORY
Johnny had a lousy childhood. He was spanked by both of his parents (without reason in most cases). He was in court with a lawyer from Child and Protectives Services.
It was decided that he should go to a foster home.
Johnny spoke up, and said “Your honor, can you send me to the Detroit Lions? They never beat anybody!!!”
*****
My college had a lousy football team. Our stadium was right next to the railroad tracks. A train went by and honked its horn. The other team thought it was half-time and left the field. After six plays, our team scored!!!
LOGIC PROBLEM
The Derby Athletic Boosters group had a garage sale to raise money for the local kids' athletic programs.
In particular, there were three shoppers that bought things donated by Dennis - Orville, Gwen, and Carol. The items were a blue Lincoln High School Eagle jacket, a golf umbrella, and Jefferson High School Patriot Pants. The colors were red, green, and blue. And (since he is so nice), Dennis gave discounts of $5, $9, and $11.50.
So, who bought what item? What color was the item and what was the discount?
The blue jacket was not bought by Orville
Carol had nine dollars taken off
The red item had a bigger discount than the umbrella
The pants did NOT have five dollars taken off, and were NOT purchased by Orville or Gwen
*****
COLLEGE FIGHT SONGS
Fill in the blanks or identify the team. Answers at bottom. Some will be obvious, and some might be tricky!!!
1. The Eyes of ______ are upon you,
All the livelong day.
The Eyes of ______ are upon you,
You cannot get away.
_______Fight, ______ Fight,
For it’s _______ that we love best.
Hail, Hail, The gangs all here,
And it goodbye to all the rest!
2. Cheer, cheer for old _______________,
Wake up the echoes cheering her name,
Send a volley cheer on high,
Shake down the thunder from the sky.
What though the odds be great or small
Old _________ will win over all,
While her loyal sons and daughters
March on to victory.
3. _____________, hats off to thee!
To thy colors true we shall ever be,
Firm and strong, united are we.
Rah, rah, rah, for Ski-U-Mah,
Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah!
Rah for the U of ___.
4. March, march on down the field,
Fighting for Eli.
Break through that crimson line,
Their strength to defy.
We'll give a long cheer for Eli's men.
We're here to win again.
Harvard's team may fight to the end,
But _____ will win!
5. I'm a Ramblin' Wreck from ____________ and a hell of an engineer,
A helluva, helluva, helluva, helluva hell of an engineer,
Like all the jolly good fellows, I drink my whiskey clear,
I'm a Ramblin' Wreck from ____________ and a hell of an engineer.
6. Hail! to the victors valiant
Hail! to the conquering heroes
Hail! Hail! to _______
The champions of the west!!!!!!
7. Boomer Sooner, Boomer Sooner
Boomer Sooner, Boomer Sooner
Boomer Sooner, Boomer Sooner
Boomer Sooner, _____ U!
8, Like Knights of old, Let’s fight to hold
The glory of the Purple and Gold.
Let’s carry through, Let’s die or do
To win the game for dear old _____.
9. On, __________! On, ___________!
Fight on for her fame,
Fight! Fellows! Fight!
Fight, fight, we'll win this game.
10. Rocky Top, you'll always be
Home sweet home to me.
Good old Rocky Top,
Rocky Top, __________
11. Go! U _____________!
Break right through that line.
With our colors flying,
We will cheer you all the time.
U! Rah! Rah!
AND THE MONEY
Sports - and especially football dominate - the highest paid public employee.
AND, MONEY WILL CONTINUE.
The top ten highest paid state employees (all of whom are coaches) are:
Dabo Swinney, South Carolina — $9.3 million
John Calipari, Kentucky — $9.3 million
Nick Saban, Alabama — $8.9 million
Jim Harbaugh, Michigan — $7.5 million
Jimbo Fisher, Texas — $7.5 million
Kirby Smart, Georgia — $6.9 million
Jeff Brohm, Indiana — $6.6 million
Lincoln Riley, Oklahoma – $6.4 million.
James Franklin, Pennsylvania — $5.7 million
Scott Frost, Nebraska — $5 million
“According to Front Office Sports, the new media rights contract could pull in an estimated $1.1 billion in annual revenue for the Big Ten Conference. It’s a massive difference from the current deal in place. Currently, the conference receives $440 million each year thanks to the six-year, $2.64 billion deals it signed in 2017.
The Big Ten is adding USC (University of Southern California) and UCLA (University of California-Los Angeles) as new members.
The Big Ten traditionally had ten teams, now has 14 teams and with the change will have 16 teams.
(The informal comment is that Nebraska left the Big 12 for the Big 10 in 2012 because Texas had its own media network - and wasn’t sharing with the other schools in the Big 12)
PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL QUARTERBACKS
Name the primary team the quarterback played for (the years played are in parentheses) - answers at the bottom
Kurt Warner (1998-2009)
Jim Kelly (1986-1996)
Y.A. Tittle (1948-1964)
Troy Aikman (1989-2000)
Bart Starr (1956-1971)
Fran Tarkenton (1961-1978)
Steve Young (1985-99)
Terry Bradshaw (1970-83)
Roger Staubach (1969-79)
Brett Favre (1991-2010)
Dan Marino (1983-99)
John Elway (1983-98)
Johnny Unitas (1956-73)
Joe Montana (1979-94)
Peyton Manning (1998-2015)
WRAP-UP
There is a philosophy that “Winning is everything”. Win at football, win at life, and do what you have to do to WIN.
Having been a professor for many years, I think colleges should be places of learning. Sports are nice but getting an education and having a good life should be the main goal. But, colleges are realizing that a successful athletic program (especially football) is a great recruiting tool and an image booster!!
I say “LOVE WINS” - and pose a question - can LOVE and Winning at any cost coexist?
Have an awesome week!!!
Karen White
September 14, 2022
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COLLEGE FIGHT SONGS BY TEAM
Texas
Notre Dame
Minnesota
Yale
Georgia Tech
Michigan
Oklahoma
LSU (Louisiana State University)
Wisconsin
Tennessee
Northwestern
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