JUNE 16, 2024 - FATHER'S DAY

 AND - FATHER’S DAY - SUNDAY, JUNE 16TH

(Some “Dad Jokes”) 

There is a concept that Dads tell lousy jokes. For Father’s Day 2024, I picked some jokes about Dads.  

• How much did the moon eat during Father's Day Dinner? A lot, because it was full at the end.

• How does Darth Vader like his toast cooked on Father's Day? On the dark side.

• Why didn't the rude cow eat all the food on Father's Day? Because he was being a beef jerky.

• How did the dad and his kids watch the fishing show on Father's Day? They live-streamed it.

• What did the baby computer say to its dad on Father's Day? Happy Father's Day, Data!

• How did the celebrity dad keep his cool on Father's Day? He had many fans.

• Why didn't the dad want to swim with the sharks on Father's Day? It would cost him an arm and a leg.

• How much did the son charge his dad for fixing his roof on Father's Day? Nothing, it was on the house!

• What does the pig give his dad for Father's Day? Lots of hogs and kisses.

• What do hermit crabs do on Father's Day? Shell-abrate their dads.

• Why don’t they have Father’s Day sales? Because fathers are priceless.

• What do you call a person who is not a dad who makes dad jokes? A Faux Pa.

• What did the cheerleader bring her dad for breakfast on Father’s Day? Cheerios.

• What’s the best thing a new dad can get for Father’s Day? A long nap.

• Where did the cow family go on Father’s Day? The moo-vies.

• Why did the bean children give their dad a sweater for Father’s Day? He was chili.

• What do nice pirates do on Father’s Day? Take out the garrrrrrrrrrrbage without being asked.

• What did the puppies make their dad for Father’s Day breakfast? Pooched eggs.

• Why do sons love Father’s Day so much? Because it’s always on son day (Sunday).

• What makes more noise than a child jumping on daddy’s bed on Father’s Day morning? Two children jumping on daddy’s bed!

• What did the Panda give his daddy on Father’s Day? A bear hug.

• What did the waiter say to the daddy dog when he served Father’s Day dinner? Bone-appetit!

• What did the Martians wear to Father’s Day dinner? Space suits.

• Why couldn’t the digital clock make dinner for Father’s Day? He had no hands.

• The kids gave their dad a blanket for Father’s Day because they thought he was the coolest dad.

• My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.

• I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didn’t stay long. There’s something fishy about that place.

• What do you call a sheep who can sing and dance? Lady Ba Ba.

• What do you call a French man wearing sandals? Philipe Fallop.

• Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands? Because they're extinct.

• I gave my handyman a to-do list, but he only did jobs 1, 3, and 5. Turns out he only does odd jobs.

• Why should you never take sides in an argument at the dinner table? Trick question. It's the perfect time to take sides because no one's paying attention. Bring Tupperware.

• Who won the neck decorating contest? It was a tie.

• Where do rainbows go when they've been bad? To prism, so they have time to reflect on what they've done.

• Dogs can't operate MRI machines. But catscan.

• What do mermaids use to wash their fins? Tide.

• What did the skillet eat on its birthday? Pan-cakes.

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SOME MORE JOKES:

• Why didn't the sun go to college? It already had a million degrees.

• Where do cows get their clothes? From cattle-logs.

• Why are fish so smart? Because they swim in schools.

• What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.

• Have you heard about the chocolate record player? It sounds pretty sweet.

• What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.

• A skeleton walks into a bar and says, 'Hey, bartender. I'll have one beer and a mop.

• I asked my dog what's two minus two. He said nothing.

• What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn? Where's Pop Corn?

• What does a sprinter eat before a race? Nothing, they fast!

• Where do you learn to make a banana split? Sundae school.

• What has more letters than the alphabet? The post office!

*****

I had a great dad - yes, he was funny (and I inherited his sense of humor).  

Woodrow Wilson White (or Woody - or the original WWW) was born on a farm near St. Olaf / Farmersburg Iowa (northeast iowa).  He was the second of eleven children.  My grandfather die and the family moved to Cedar Rapids Iowa to find jobs.  The four oldest - Howard, Dad, Leo, and Geraldeen ((Geri) went to work to support the family.

My father worke at Colonial Baking.  His job was to take the loaves of bread out of the overn and put it through the slicer and wrap it.  The baking process took about an hour, so he slept on the floor while the bread was baking and then woke up to do his job.

Later he got promoted to Colonial Bread delivery.  In the 1920s and 30s, he delivered bread to the small groceries stores of eastern Iowa.  He filled the shelves and took the out-of-date bread away.  

Eventually he went into furniture sales and finally to real estate sales - and had his own reality company “Trade Wins”.  

He lived to 98 years old.  

He was an awesome Dad!!! And, he loved his family!!!!

Karen Anne White

June 16, 2024