FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 28, 2025

 FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 28, 2025, LAST DAY OF FEBRUARY

Yesterday, I commented on one of the vital passages of scripture for me:

“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,  bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.  If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them.  Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back.  Do to others as you would have them do to you.”

But - here are the same verses from a different translation (The Message):

“To you who are ready for the truth, I say this: Love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the supple moves of prayer for that person. If someone slaps you in the face, stand there and take it. If someone grabs your shirt, gift wrap your best coat and make a present of it. If someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more payback. Live generously.”

Today - expanding that.

*****

There is so much here, I don’t know where to start.

Slaps you in the face?  

“Stand there and take it.” But shouldn’t I try to defend myself?  Not if you are following this concept.  

“Somebody takes unfair advantage of you - be a servant - no more payback.  Live generously”

How can I live generously if somebody is taking advantage of me?  Don’t I have to protest and say, “Don’t do that?”  

Isn’t that like letting the bad people walk all over you?  Yeah, so what?  SO WHAT???  Have you lost your mind Jesus?  No retaliation?  Not fighting back, not even talking bad to them?

*****

Okay,big picture.  Living on Earth is like being in baseball’s minor leagues.  We want to play in the big leagues (aka “heaven”).  

In real baseball, you get to the big leagues (Major League Baseball) by working harder - more hours in hitting practice, more hours in the weight room so you can throw the ball in from right field faster and harder, more hours fielding ground balls and fly ball.  Running, running, running!!!  

But, in God’s Major League, it is by being a servant, by LOVING EVERYBODY!!!  

*****

Okay, Karen’s experience. Yes, I got myself in trouble.  A scammer told me that they needed money because they had lost their credit card - and they asked me to give them some money (and … they would repay it… [sure thing]).  

I sent them a small amount ($200) in a check by mail.  (Sorry folks, I am not doing electronic funds transfer, or wire transfer).  Right now, “the checks in the mail”.  

I’m not sure this is meeting the concept of:  “If someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life.”  

I don’t give money to crooks - and online scammers - so this is a learning experience for me.  Jesus - I’m trusting in you.  Philippians 4:19 - You can be sure that God will take care of everything you need,

*****

Early Conclusion:  Jesus is such a radical - love my enemies, love those I don’t normally love.  Let them run over me, slap me, steal my coat, shirt, whatever - they are only things!!

True agape love is so perfect - so why do I want to settle for less?

LOVE WINS

LOVE TRANSFORMS

Karen Anne White, February 28, 2025

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 22, 2025 - STORIES

 SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 22, 2025 - STORIES

Natalie Parsch, 79, and Kellsey Jane, 31, were next-door neighbors for a decade before they met. 

When they did, they discovered something that connected them across their half-a-century age gap.

***** 

It all started with a chance encounter one spring afternoon…

Kellsey Jane (KJ - Younger woman) and Natalie Parsch (NP - Older woman)  

NP - Older woman: I was out in the yard, just petering around. And I met you, at my front gate, because our dogs had met. 

KJ - Younger woman: You saw me with my girlfriend, and you wanted to know some stuff about the queer community, if I remember correctly.

NP - Older woman: I wanted to know how to talk to my grandson …

KJ - Younger woman: [laughs]

NP - Older woman: … because I offended him right and left.

KJ - Younger woman: You knew just what to say to get me hooked into a conversation. [laughs]

NP - Older woman: [laughs] What was going through my life at that time was realizing I was alone. And then you just came in and I wasn’t so alone anymore. 

I realized that I had somebody that wasn’t afraid to talk. 

I shared that I was molested when I was eight years old. And, it was said that it was a misunderstanding. And, nobody ever said anything more to me about it. I got to where I didn’t trust anybody, and things went dark. 

I got married when I was 15, and I had my third child when I was 19. I became a violent drunk, and drug addict, till I got sober. 

The worst part is, I was not a good mother.

KJ - Younger woman: Mmhm.

NP - Older woman: And I loved my children.

KJ - Younger woman: Is it heavy to look back on that in your older years?

NP - Older woman: If I touch the pain, it’s as intense as it ever was. 

KJ - Younger woman: I think a lot of what brought us together was having that shared experience. You know, I was sexually abused as a child by my father. 

What was it like for you to hear my story?

NP - Older woman: It was heartbreaking. But, to listen to you and be there for you, it just felt like an honor. 

Guess the only thing I want to tell you is you just made a difference in my life. You know, I was planning on dying within the next couple of years, ‘cause I knew I was through.

And then you just got me excited again. 

KJ - Younger woman: I’m so thankful you’re still around. 

NP - Older woman: Oh, me too. I would’ve missed a lot. 

*****

Karen writes:

I think most of us have painful memories, and problems in our lives (although we don’t let others know.  I’m heard that only the top 10% of icebergs are visible.  90% are hidden under water.  When we see our neighbors it can be like icebergs - only the pleasant 10% is shown.  

NP - The older lady says:

I shared that I was molested when I was eight years old. And, it was said that it was a misunderstanding. And, nobody ever said anything more to me about it. I got to where I didn’t trust anybody, and things went dark. 

I got married when I was 15, and I had my third child when I was 19. I became a violent drunk, and drug addict, till I got sober. 

*****

Karen says - maybe we haven’t been molested, maybe we are not drug addicts or violent drunks - but we have things in our closets.  

*****

Then the younger lady says:

KJ - Younger woman: You saw me with my girlfriend, and you wanted to know some stuff about the queer community, if I remember correctly.

*****

OOPS - how does an older lady talk to a younger lesbian lady?  How does a white person talk to a black person?  How does a Muslim talk to a conservative white Christian? Or a Democrat to a Republican? 

In this story - two diverse people become friends - an older traditional lady with a younger non-traditional lady.  

*****

Can we solve the boundaries that have been drawn?  Do two people need dogs that need walking to break down the barriers?  

*****

I was reminded for the Servant Song:

The Servant Song:

Brother, let me be your servant.

Let me be as Christ to you.

Pray that I might have the grace

To let you be my servant, too.

 

We are pilgrims on a journey.

We are brothers on the road.

We are here to help each other

Walk the mile and bear the load.

 

I will hold the Christ-light for you

In the night time of your fear.

I will hold my hand out to you;

Speak the peace you long to hear.

 

I will weep when you are weeping.

When you laugh, I’ll laugh with you.

I will share your joy and sorrow

Till we’ve seen this journey through.

 

When we sing to God in heaven,

We shall find such harmony

Born of all we’ve known together

Of Christ’s love and agony.

 

Brother, let me be your servant.

Let me be as Christ to you.

Pray that I might have the grace

To let you be my servant, too.

 

******

Can we be servants to each other? Can we love?

LOVE WINS

LOVE TRANSFORMS

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 21, 2025 - MORE GREEK LOVETERMS.

 FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 21, 2025 LOVE - CONTINUED

Last Friday, I started a series on love.  I looked at the six terms for love in the Greek language.  While English speakers might say “I love you”, and “I love peanut butter” the word “love” is different (or, I hope it is different).

So, here the are the six terms - as taken from 

https://www.yesmagazine.org/health-happiness/2013/12/28/the-ancient-greeks-6-words-for-love-and-why-knowing-them-can-change-your-life

1. Eros, or sexual passion (last week)

2. Philia, or deep friendship

The second variety of love was philia or friendship, which the Greeks valued far more than the base sexuality of eros. Philia concerned the deep comradely friendship that developed between brothers in arms who had fought side by side on the battlefield. It was about showing loyalty to your friends, sacrificing for them, as well as sharing your emotions with them. (Another kind of philia, sometimes called storge, embodied the love between parents and their children.)

We can all ask ourselves how much of this comradely philia we have in our lives. It’s an important question in an age when we attempt to amass “friends” on Facebook or “followers” on Twitter—achievements that would have hardly impressed the Greeks.

I like the word “Comrades” here.  Loyalty.  Sacrificing.   

Scenario.  Your friend is having financial difficulties - would you give money to them? 
For Philia love - absolutely (depending on the situation).  

Scenario 2: Your friend’s car needs repair. Can your friend borrow your car for a couple of days? Sure, again, depending on the situation. I’m retired, and there are times I really don’t need my car every day.

In both of these scenarios, I know the person, I am loyal to the person, I “philia” lovee the person.  

Scenario 3:  On a street corner is a man in a wheelchair with a sign “Anything helps”.  Do I give them money?  I am reluctant - this person is not a “comrade” to me. Is this person going to take my money and buy alcohol or drugs, or use the money to get food or shelter. 

If I was better on this, I’d put up my antenna to see if this person is really needy. 

3. Ludus, or playful love (one of my friends thinks I flirt too much)

While philia could be a matter of great seriousness, there was a third type of love valued by the ancient Greeks, which was playful love. Following the Roman poet Ovid, scholars (such as the philosopher A. C. Grayling) commonly use the Latin word ludus to describe this form of love, which concerns the playful affection between children or casual lovers. We’ve all had a taste of it in the flirting and teasing in the early stages of a relationship. But we also live out our ludus when we sit around in a bar bantering and laughing with friends, or when we go out dancing.

4. Agape, or love for everyone

The fourth love, and perhaps the most radical, was agape or selfless love. This was a love that you extended to all people, whether family members or distant strangers. Agape was later translated into Latin as caritas, which is the origin of our word “charity.”

C.S. Lewis referred to it as “gift love,” the highest form of Christian love. But it also appears in other religious traditions, such as the idea of mettā or “universal loving kindness” in Theravāda Buddhism.

There is growing evidence that agape is in a dangerous decline in many countries. Empathy levels in the U.S. have declined sharply over the past 40 years, with the steepest fall occurring in the past decade. We urgently need to revive our capacity to care about strangers.

In the next few weeks, we will be looking at AGAPE love.  The “highest form of love.  

Saying “I love you”, and “I love peanut butter” use the same word in English - but I love you - is probably using Agape love, and I love peanut butter - maybe Phila love.

5. Pragma, or longstanding love

The use of the ancient Greek root pragma as a form of love was popularized by the Canadian sociologist John Allen Lee in the 1970s, who described it as a mature, realistic love that is commonly found amongst long-established couples. Pragma is about making compromises to help the relationship work over time, and showing patience and tolerance. There is in fact little evidence that the Greeks commonly used this precise term themselves, so it is best thought of as a modern update on the ancient Greek loves.

The psychoanalyst Erich Fromm said that we expend too much energy on “falling in love” and need to learn more how to “stand in love.” Pragma is precisely about standing in love—making an effort to give love rather than just receive it. With about a third of first marriages in the U.S. ending through divorce or separation in the first 10 years, we should surely think about bringing a serious dose of pragma into our relationships.

6. Philautia, or love of the self

The Greek’s sixth variety of love was philautia or self-love. And clever Greeks such as Aristotle realized there were two types. One was an unhealthy variety associated with narcissism, where you became self-obsessed and focused on personal fame and fortune. A healthier version enhanced your wider capacity to love.

The idea was that if you like yourself and feel secure in yourself, you will have plenty of love to give others (as is reflected in the Buddhist-inspired concept of “self-compassion”). Or, as Aristotle put it, “All friendly feelings for others are an extension of a man’s feelings for himself.”

The ancient Greeks found diverse kinds of love in relationships with a wide range of people—friends, family, spouses, strangers, and even themselves. This contrasts with our typical focus on a single romantic relationship, where we hope to find all the different loves wrapped into a single person or soul mate. The message from the Greeks is to nurture the varieties of love and tap into its many sources. Don’t just seek eros, but cultivate philia by spending more time with old friends, or develop ludus by dancing the night away.

Moreover, we should abandon our obsession with perfection. Don’t expect your partner to offer you all the varieties of love, all of the time (with the danger that you may toss aside a partner who fails to live up to your desires).  that a relationship may begin with plenty of eros and ludus, then evolve toward embodying more pragma or agape.

The diverse Greek system of loves can also provide consolation. By mapping out the extent to which all six loves are present in your life, you might discover you’ve got a lot more love than you had ever imagined—even if you feel an absence of a physical lover.

******

Yes, I copied a lot to get a foundation of love terms from the Greek.  For the next weeks, I’ll be looking at AGAPE love.

LOVE WINS (that is Agape Love - the highest form of love)

LOVE TRANSFORMS

Karen Anne White, February 21, 2025

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 20, 2025 - I MADE IT!!!

 THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 20, 2025 - I’VE MADE IT

Quoted text from an NPR - National Public Radio story:

On day one, newly inaugurated President Trump signed an order aimed at eliminating the idea of a "gender identity" separate from sex in the federal government. The order's scope is broad — it rescinds a long list of Biden-era policies, changes "gender" to "sex" on government forms and calls to end funding for "gender ideology."

So, there are “officially” (at least as far as the current American ideology goes), that a person is either a male or a female.  There are no transgender people.  

Now, I know that some appeal to the “gender at birth” concept.  That’s nice - but not quite true.  

Gender identities difficulties get in trouble in the restrooms.  Standing outside the two doors to restrooms, which do I enter?  That’s not a tough question.  I don’t have the body to go into the men’s restroom.  I can only sit down when I go to the restroom.  Now, there are toilet stalls in men’s restrooms, but the main facilities in men’s restrooms are for men standing up to empty their bodily waste liquids.  I can’t do that.  If I try, i will end up with embarrassing wet clothes and liquid on the floor.

Therefore because of my anatomy, I must (have to) use the women’s restroom.  I’m very happy with that.  I’m dressed as a woman, I live as a woman, I have a driver’s license that says I’m a woman, I have a court order that says I am a woman (with the name of Karen Anne White).  Ergo - I am a woman - and since the concept of transgender has flown away, and there are two genders, I am a woman.  

Now, there are debates about women(who previously identified as males) using restrooms.  The literature seems to suggest that such issues just don’t happen.  The few court cases that exist seem to indicate teenagers (who formerly identified as males) are not really a bigger problem than CIS females abusing girls in restrooms.  (Likewise, males molesting males seems not to be divided on gay and CIS males.  

*****

Most of my readers know that something happened to me in April 2016.  I hadn’t been as loving and forgiving as I should me.  “And forgive us our trespasses, As we forgive them that trespass against us.”  I was quick to ask God to forgive me, but slow to forgive others (especially those who were different than me).  

I’ve been learning and living the way of LOVE - Love all people, forgive all people (like Jesus on the cross “Father, forgive them, they don’t know what they are doing”). Forgive everybody, and love everybody.

And, as a woman, I do want to completely and totally do this.  “Make me an instrument of your peace.

-"Lord, make me an instrument of Your Peace, Where there is hatred, let me sow Love. where there is injury, Pardon. Where there is doubt, Faith. Where there is despair, Hope. where there is darkness, Light. Where there is sadness, Joy..."

*****

God, let me love (agape love) all people - loving them, forgiving them, walking with them, and supporting them.

LOVE WINSS

LOVE TRANSFORMS

Karen Anne White, February 20, 2025 - the twelfth birthday of my beautiful twin granddaughters, Leah and Abby.  

You can't tell,but I'm crying happy tears !!! LOVE YOU TWO

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 19, 2025 - DOGE

 WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 19, 2025 - DOGE

If you’ve been living under a rock, you may not know there is a new government entity - “Department Of Government Efficiency” or DOGE.  This group is being led by Elon Musk - CEO of Tesla cars, the Boring Company, and SpaceX, X (formerly known as Twitter), and maybe more.

Of course, change is difficult.

I probably would have been in the negative camp until I started thinking about Government Efficiency.

From Wikipedia:

The Pendleton Civil Service Reform Act was a federal law passed by the 47th Congress and signed into law by President Chester A. Arthur on January 16, 1883. The act mandates that most federal government positions be awarded based on merit instead of political patronage.

By the late 1820s, American politics operated on the spoils system, a political patronage practice in which officeholders awarded their allies with government jobs in return for financial and political support.

The Pendleton Civil Service Reform Act provided for the selection of some government employees by competitive exams, rather than ties to politicians or political affiliation. It also made it illegal to fire or demote these government officials for political reasons and created the United States Civil Service Commission to enforce the merit system. 

*****

Who is a better civil servant for (say), the Department of the Interior - an environmental engineer with fifteen years working on environmental issues; or a politician from New Hampshire?  Would a candidate with advanced degrees in economics and finance be a better fit for the Department of the Treasury?

Years ago, we heard horror stories about toilet seats costing thousands of dollars or hammers in the Army costing way above the regular price. Although I haven’t heard of such items recently, I’m guessing they still happen.  

A source says there are 2.4 million federal employees. Do we need all of them? 

There are 334 million people in the United States, so there is just under one federal employee for every 100 people.  

Let’s be honest—there are some excellent civil servants in the United States and some excellent programs that help people in and abroad. There are also some less-than-excellent civil servants and some costly programs with little benefit.  

There are many research projects on diseases.  (I’ve applied for an Alzheimer’s study).  Wouldn’t it be grand the next time a COVID pops up, or the Bird Flu takes away my breakfast eggs, to be ready with a solution?

*****

My first impression is that doing a major study on government efficiency is inviting more inefficiencies as DOGE takes on an almost impossible task.

My second impression is, “If not now, when?” If we don’t do anything, the government may continue to grow, and we will have more inefficiencies.

*****

And, I’m not sure that there aren’t still some political appointments that could be better served by dedicated civil servants.  

If Karen White was to run for president (and get elected), I’m sure I’d want to give my supporters something. Lynette - do you want to be the ambassador to Norway?  Paul, would you like to be the ambassador to the Czech Republic?  Mary, how about being the ambassador to Tahiti!!!  Paula, could you serve at the ambassador to Haiti?  Rita, ambassador to Italy?  Sok Cheng - ambassador to Taiwan?  (Not to mainland China), Ramesh - ambassador to India?  

“Scratch my back (or contribute to my campaign), and I’ll scratch your back (some plum political appointment to an easy position).

LOVE WINS 

LOVE TRANSFORMS

Karen Anne White, February 19, 2025