Crossing a Boundary - Gender Issues #4

 Crossing a Boundary - Gender Issues #4

This week we have been looking at Gender Issues.  Such issues might be lower pay for women in similar jobs to men, fewer women in managerial positions, and less recognition for successful work.

In addition, I did a quick look at women’s rights around the world - with FGM (female gender <term-is-negative>, forced/arranged marriages, treatment of women like slaves, and little opportunities for women in third-world countries.

I want to look a little more at Melinda Gates's material from her book “The Moment of Lift”.  A topic she covers is “unpaid work”.  I thought she meant volunteering - that is unpaid work, but she meant the hours spent working at home.  

The old adage is, “Man works from sun to sun, but women’s work is never done.”

In most cultures, women are expected to do all the household chores - up early to make breakfast for the family, take care of the children, cook, clean, organize, pick up, make lunch, cook, clean, make dinner, clean up after dinner, plan the menu, purchase the food, store the food.  

Men, in most cultures, leave the house in the morning to go to work.  It could be to work in the fields (aka agriculture), work in an office, or another job outside the home.  

But, the wives, the women, can't work outside the home. This is ‘unpaid’ work.  Gates suggests that the unpaid work can be split between the partners - men can help with housework, with the children, with the cooking, with the cleaning, and with the shopping. 

Even in American society where many women (before the pandemic hit, an estimated 51% of all women worked outside the home) work, the women are still expected to handle the home chores in addition to their outside work responsibilities.  (Or, back to the adage - “Women’s work is never done”).  

So, for many women, the routine becomes to get up; get breakfast; get the children to school or daycare; get the husband to his work; get herself to her job; hustle home after her work to prepare dinner; serve dinner; clean and go to bed - and <repeat> the next day!!

[aside - then the man would like his wife to be more receptive (sexy) in bed and she is really tired, and this disappoints the man.  Sometimes this pushes the man to find female companionship outside the home!!]

Gates also highlights family planning.  This topic can be contentious.  Melinda Gates describes herself as an active Catholic - where few approved methods exist for family planning.  She and Bill planned their children - three years apart.

Mrs. Gates describes some situations where the woman gets her first pregnancy at an early age - may be even 15 or 16; then as soon as that child is born, she gets pregnant again; until she has many children around the home - and she is worn out.  Then with almost every year another child - and the woman can't cope, there isn't enough food to go around, she can't work outside the house for more money/more food, the family becomes 'subsistence', sickness comes easily when everyone is starving - largely because there wasn't adequate family planning.

She gives the story of an African lady, who is carrying for her eight children and one is very sick and malnourished. The mother can’t focus on the one because of the others.  Her suggestion (and one of the focuses of their foundation) is for family planning.  Later marriages, no arranged marriages, spacing out children so the family can adequately care and love the children.  

A lot of her book really looks at society honoring and respecting women.  They are to be treated as partners in marriage - working inside or outside the home.  (Mrs. Gates was a manager in Microsoft before having their family).  Women are not slaves.  In this 100th year of woman suffrage, some of the old issues still exist (see yesterday’s look at Pew Research findings on women’s issues, sexual harassment, compensation, and even acceptance in the religious cultures).   

*****

For one who really didn’t understand Gender issues until recently, this topic has been an eye-opener for me. As a new woman, I might not be a strong feminist, but I’m learning.   A few weeks ago, I wrote about “walking a mile in their shoes”.  I admit to not doing that as a male.  Did I really understand women then?  Do I really understand women now?  Maybe and maybe not - but I am working on it.

Like the book from the 60s - “Black like Me”, where a white man became a black man for a while, I’m becoming a woman.  Don’t expect a “Woman Like Me” book (yet) - but I am trying to learn - and, at times, appalled at what the world expects of women.

Tomorrow a LOVE WINS day; then a Saturday Story and Sunday Funday!!!

LOVE DOES WIN - we all need to attempt to cross that boundary and understand and love - do we try to understand the other gender(s)?  Do we try to understand people of other faith traditions? Do we try to understand other cultures (Indian, Chinese, Muslim, African, and even LGBTQ?)

Hugs!

Thank you, my friends!!

Karen