A Human Character Flaw

I’m starting with two Bible Verses today

Romans 3:23 - For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;

Romans 3:10 - As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one:

For those of you who think I’m perfect - no I am NOT.  (And, I’m pretty sure nobody thought I was perfect anyway!!)

We all have some kind of character flaw - maybe we are a bit judgmental, maybe we are a bit impatient, maybe we are a bit greedy, maybe we are a bit envious - all of us have something wrong.

I think we share one, the “fixation” flaw.  I can remember that showing up in my life in the past.  For example, some neighbors moved in about six houses away when I lived in Connecticut.  That’s nice.  There were two women in the house.  I think they were teachers - but that doesn’t explain my fixation.  For over a year, their two cars in their driveway both had New York license plates.  I don’t know if I had “righteous indignation” or just this “fixation flaw”.  Every time (and I mean EVERY time), I walked past their house when I was out walking, I saw their license plates and it upset me.  After all, states need revenue to keep going, and license plates are one of the revenue items.  That also meant that they hadn’t gotten their cars inspected (again, another fee).  These two teachers were setting a bad example by avoiding taxes.  I was going to put an anonymous note in their mailbox (our mailboxes were on the street in front of each house).  I wasn’t assertive (or “Karen”) enough to knock on their door and tell them to get license plates.

Finally, one day, both cars had Connecticut license plates. And then “poof” - my fixation flaw was fixed.  They went from being evil people to okay people, from bad neighbors - avoiding taxes, to good neighbors paying the license plate tax.  

I have a friend who admits to a mild case of Asperger's. From the web I have this definition of Asperger's (which they identify as a form of autism):

“Autism is a spectrum condition. All autistic people share certain difficulties, but being autistic will affect them in different ways. Some people with Asperger syndrome also have mental health issues or other conditions, meaning people need different levels and types of support. People with Asperger syndrome see, hear, and feel the world differently to other people. If you have Asperger syndrome, you have it for life – it is not an illness or disease and cannot be ‘cured’. Often people feel that Asperger syndrome is a fundamental aspect of their identity.”

While I am not a social scientist or well versed in autism or Asperger's, I want to put this “fixation” flaw as some kind of mental issue.  

Another friend has demonstrated this fixation flaw in a social setting.   She can get upset with one person - and it just seems (to me anyway) as an “I’m upset with this person - just because”.  A couple of weeks ago, this friend ‘unfriended’ two of her friends over a perceived issue between those other two friends.  

Wikipedia says this “Fixation (psychology), the state in which an individual becomes obsessed with an attachment to another human, an animal, or an inanimate object”

I’ve seen girls fixated on their weight “I must lose weight” - and they might step on the scale twenty times a day.  Others might be fixated on their looks and spend hours in front of the mirror - priming themselves.

I’ve known a neighbor who was fixated on his yard.  Not a blade of grass was out of place, no weeds existed in his lawn!!  

*****

But, when this fixation moves into action and stalking, acting on that impulse to chastise somebody, that help is needed.  The mind is sometimes a scary place.  (From one who spent four days in a mental facility for depression).  Accepting ourselves is important in our lives.  Comparing ourselves to others (as a form of competition) can be self-defeating and lead to depression.

So, how might we work on our fixations?  Good question!!  Let’s see what I have tomorrow!!

LOVE WINS!!!

HUGS!!

Karen