FRIDAY, MARCH 10, 2023 - CHURCHES EAT PEOPLE

 FRIDAY, MARCH 10, 2023 - CHURCHES “EAT” PEOPLE.

On Fridays, I write about spiritual things as I see them. (The opinions are my own)

I’m not quite sure about my title - “Churches EAT people”, but I will keep it.

I’m in the middle of a church change.  Not that I don’t like the old church, not that I don’t accept most of the beliefs - BUT.

Early on in my adult life, I was married, and both of us had pretty much perfect church attendance growing up.  We had moved to Keokuk, Iowa (where I was teaching high school math).  We went to a particular Protestant Church and it seems to fit.  I think if my “spiritual hearing” was turned on, I would have heard something like “Fresh Blood” from others in the congregation!!  (Not really blood - but a new younger couple - let’s get them involved.  We were in that church five years before moving to Minnesota and college teaching.)

In those five years, I was on the Board of Elders, I taught adult Sunday School, and I sang in the choir.  My wife was the assistant leader of the women’s group.  I went to area meetings (synod meetings).  We were active.

But, someplace along the line there, I heard the message that “Churches eat people”.  I think it happens in one of two ways (and I’d add more from my research).

Method 1:  Churches eat people by burning them out.  

If you’ve been involved in a church you may recognize the “church lady” who does everything.  She’s on this board and that board.  She helped with communion, teaches Sunday School, she bakes cookies for any and all events.  She is almost “married” to the church.  

And, eventually, she gets worn out.  In the church I’m leaving, JK was that person.  She was officially the church office administrator - and had outlasted several pastors.  She knew the history, and she knew who she could ask for various jobs (like asking me to help with the annual church carnival).  I know she didn’t want to be in charge of everything - but nobody stepped up to take on leadership positions.  

It is not limited to women (although I think I’ve seen more women in those kinds of “run the church in the background” positions).  HS was an usher/greeter/reader/ in my childhood church. He was everywhere and knew everybody.  HS had a rarely seen wife, but if the doors of the church were open, HS would be there - not necessarily to pray or worship - but to serve, even to rearrange chairs, I imagine he would even sweep the floors if needed.

These people get burned out.  Could you help with this?  Could you do that?  And at some point (see method 2 below), they get abused. 

Garrison Keilor in his old radio show talked of the Catholic church in Lake Wobegon, Minnesota - it was named “Our Lady of Perpetual Responsibility”.  Not Our Lady of Love, or even the traditional Our Lady of Perpetual Help - but perpetual responsibility.  Keep working, keep working, and keep working!!!

It might have started as a LOVE WINS - I want to serve God by helping out at my church and loving the people.  God’s love is infinite but in so many churches these helpers are not loved but expected to do the heavy lifting of keeping everything going - of bearing the responsibility.

*****

Method 2 - Gossip kills them

In that first church after we were married, I didn’t realize it, but there were cliques and gossip.  I don’t know why gossip flourishes in churches, but it does.  

My wife as assistant women’s group leader was the recipient of some of the gossip. “Why do we have such a young lady in such an important position?  I think Martha would be a better leader than she is”.  

And, you hear the gossip - “Did you know that <dirt>”.  

Gossip can be so cruel and stupid.  “Did you see what Lucy was wearing today?  I wouldn’t wear those clothes to a dogfight”.  “Did you see how Bob looked at Shirley today?  I wonder if they are sleeping together?”.  “Did you hear that Cindy is leaving Dan?”.  

I learned that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.  

In my first teaching assignment, I learned NOT to go into the teacher's lounge - the gossip was flying around.  (And, at that point in time, the cigarette smoke was also flying around!!!).  

We tend to hate Christians in other denominations - and Christians who leave OUR fellowship. (“What, weren’t we good enough for you?”) And that can lead to gossip, slander, and animosity. 

*****

So what does LOVE MEAN in a church?  Loving everybody, not judging anybody, and accepting everybody.  What does LOVE MEAN outside of a church?   Loving everybody, not judging anybody, and accepting everybody. 

James 2 talks about welcoming a rich man into your church./fellowship.  Place him in a good position.  But if a poor man in rags comes to your service tell him to sit on the floor in the back. 

James 2:2-4 says, “Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in filthy old clothes also comes in. If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, “Here’s a good seat for you,” but say to the poor man, “You stand there” or “Sit on the floor by my feet,” have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?”

(Aside, at the church I’m leaving, I was told my clothes were not appropriate.  I was practicing my second amendment rights to “bare arms”!!!)

I can understand Gandhi's quote “I love your Christ, but not your Christians”.  

In my current status, I have some people look at me and say “Yuck - a transgender woman - yuck.  I can’t associate with her.”  And, the interesting part is - I’m doing this intentionally to get people to think about what is LOVE.  

To me, the Gospel of Christ is unconditional love, non-violence, and forgiveness.

Yes, LOVE the weirdos of the world; and Yes, LOVE the straight people of the world; and yes, LOVE all people - Do you remember the kids' church song: “red, yellow, black and white - they are precious in His sight.  Jesus loves the little children of the world”. (But, when those little children grow up, they aren’t always loved by His followers!!!)

LOVE WINS

LOVE TRANSFORMS

KAREN ANNE WHITE, ©, MARCH 10, 2023he