TUESDAY, MAY 2, 2023 - JUDGING

 TUESDAY, MAY 2, 2023 - JUDGING

Okay, Karen’s hungry, so hungry that she is eating crow today!!!

I’m working through judgment:

Matthew 5:38-48 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to the other cheek also.  And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well.  If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles.  Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor[i] and hate your enemy.’  But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.  If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Aren't even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?  Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Let’s be honest (or .. let me be honest) - I don’t want to be a “doormat”.  I don’t like it when people walk over me and take advantage of me.  

One source suggested this: Jesus’ examples illustrate His disciples’ need to give up any sense of entitlement to personal revenge, to be purged of the motivation of personal vengeance. By asking them to turn the other cheek, Jesus meant that His disciples should be motivated by love and a desire for the redemption and forgiveness of offenders even when opposing their actions.

I do believe that LOVE WINS - “I can only love God as much as the person I love the least”.  “Love your neighbor as yourself”.  “Judge not, lest you be judged.”

I really don’t want to judge people.  But - I can’t get totally away from that.  

Let’s try a few scenarios.  

You are having a deck added to your house.  Some friends suggested Bob Wayne.  You had Bob come to inspect and give an estimate.  He was very thorough.  He measured out the area to have some concrete, Your backyard slopes a little so, he estimated two steps to go from the deck to the yard.  He showed you the railings so that children couldn’t fall off the deck and had an estimate for that.  He talked about rain and appropriate drainage out to the yard.  His estimate was four detailed pages long.  You were impressed with Bob Wayne.  You took his estimate to Home Depot and priced out materials and in general they fit into your overall estimate.  And, you signed a contract to have Bob Wayne do the work.

The work was to start on June 1st - but he didn’t show up - and didn’t call.  By June 7th, he still hasn’t shown up or called, so you call him.  You got some weak excuse about being behind on another project and needed to finish that off.  He gives you a start date of June 22nd.  That’s going to be close as you are hosting a family gathering on July 4th.  Bob acts like he is looking over his estimates and work, and says - “For sure I can start on June 20th.  I was going to take the weekend of June 17-18 camping with his family, but I’ll cancel that and finish off the other assignment and I’ll be there by 8:00 on June 20th.  I will have ordered the materials and I will have it done, painted, finished, and looking awesome by Friday, June 30th.”

June 20th comes - and no Bob.  You call and get an excuse.  But on the afternoon of June 20th, a truck from Home Depot brings lumber, concrete mix, and most of the materials.  Well - you’ve got the materials and if he works longer days it will be done by the 30th of June.  

But, then Bob takes the weekend of June 24-25 off.  His wife’s niece is getting married in Shreveport and although he didn’t want to go, he has to go to keep peace in his house.  By June 27th, the framing for the concrete is done - but he doesn’t pour the concrete until Thursday, June 29th.  He doesn’t work the weekend of July 1 and 2, By July 3rd, it is maybe 30% complete.

QUESTION:  Can Bob be trusted?  He promised.  You call some of the references he gave you and got the same answer - he is slow and takes days off.  The work was good, but never done on time. But, the price was pretty much what he estimated.

You need judgment.  You know that your family is coming - and telling them that your contractor didn’t get the work done isn’t what they want to hear, but they will understand.  Should you cut him off?  Grin and bear it?  

You are judging his work, not as God will judge him.  

Do you turn the other cheek?  Do you let Bob walk over you because he got behind on a project?  He just isn’t very responsible - although seemingly he does a good job (but on his own schedule.  You want to shake him, maybe even take him to small claims court, because he didn’t fulfill his contract.

How do you love him?

*****

Scenario #2 (current situation)

I made a friend on social media.  I really like this person.  They seem sweet, intelligent, interested in me, have good conversations, and are really likable!!.  

The friend works in investments.  (And, I really am not interested in investments).  If I die broke, that’s okay with me.  I don’t want a lot of money in my estate when I die.  I’d like enough to put into my Dakota State endowment and to give some money to my precious grandchildren - a pretty simple will (which I wrote last week before going on my trip to Big Bend).

If this friend said “Karen would you give me $100?”, I would give her $100.  (I have some low-income friends that I help out from time to time).  But, she wanted me to do an investment with her (maybe it will impress her boss that she really is working).  So, I feel like I’ve been pushed to make an investment - “just because” it will be a nice thing for my friend. And, I’ve hurt my new friend along the way.  I didn’t want to hurt her.  (Yes, I can rationalize that I’m just a 75-year-old transgender woman, trying to make it to the final hurdle (aka “death”)).   I’m convinced that I am helping her reach her goals but I’ve messed up along the way.  So, I think (rationalize) that I’m going the “extra mile” that a friend would do if asked; or going the “extra mile” even if she wasn’t a friend but because she asked me.  

(Comment - I tend to be a lover - not a fighter.  I have trouble pushing back against pushy insurance or whatever agents.  I’m a wuss.  That’s not quite a character flaw, but at some point, I need to know how to say “NO” and mean it - and get the pushy agent to go away.  That requires judgment - and you’re not judging him on his merits for salvation and heaven.  

*****

Judging, and loving, somehow makes me think I need to be so humble to “turn the other cheek”, and “go the extra mile” - and Jesus did say we should.  Is there a line - what if I’m asked to go a third extra mile? Or a fourth? Is this like when Peter asked Jesus how many times he (Peter) should forgive and Jesus says 70 times 7. Always forgive!!

And, most times, I can shake it off, and continue to love - even through the costs, and the difficulties. How can I love unconditionally?  It might mean letting somebody walk over him.  

The Good Samaritan paid all the bills for the man who was hurt.  That’s just plain stupid (or is it)? Is that love?  Is that judgment?  I’m not going to pay for a stranger to get care (or am I?).

There are times I know I’m being taken advantage of - and I smile and love.  

God grant me wisdom - and help me to love and where appropriate to use good judgment.  And, help me love this friend unconditionally!!!

LOVE WINS

LOVE TRANSFORMS

KAREN ANNE WHITE, ©, MAY 2, 2023