TUESDAY, MAY 9, 2023 - LONELINESS CONTINUED

TUESDAY, MAY 9, 2023 LONELINESS - PART II

Yesterday, we looked at this statement from the United States Surgeon General:

“America's top doctor declares LONELINESS an epidemic and warns it's as deadly as smoking 15 cigarettes a day

• Being lonely is as bad for you as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, the advisory said

• US surgeon general Vivek Murthy said: 'Answer that phone call from a friend

• READ MORE: Loneliness epidemic is one reason why US life expectancy is falling”

Fifteen cigarettes a day. A typical pack of cigarettes holds 20 cigarettes - so, loneliness is like smoking 3/4ths of a pack of cigarettes a day.

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There is a difference between being alone - and being lonely.  

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During an ongoing global pandemic that’s kept loved ones apart and made it potentially unsafe to socialize in many of the ways we’re accustomed to doing, loneliness is becoming salient. Thirty-six percent of Americans felt “serious loneliness” in 2020 (or felt lonely “frequently” or “almost all the time or all the time” in the previous month), according to Harvard research. A large-scale Cigna survey that same year pegged loneliness in the United States as being as high as 61 percent. U.S. surgeon general Vivek Murthy warned of a “loneliness epidemic” sweeping the country back in 2017, in an article he authored on the subject — and that was before “social distancing” became part of our daily lexicon.

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Loneliness is defined as a cognitive discomfort or uneasiness from being or perceiving oneself to be alone, according to the American Psychological Association (APA). The APA defines it as the emotional distress we feel when our inherent needs for intimacy and companionship are not met.

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Being alone is not the same as feeling lonely. Being alone means an absence of others around you, whereas the APA definition of loneliness emphasizes that feeling lonely refers to the discrepancy you feel between desired and actual social relationships (in terms of either quantity or quality).

Loneliness is a feeling of unwanted isolation or lack of connection, whether alone or surrounded by others. Solitude, on the other hand, is a choice. People may choose to be alone for hours or days and not feel lonely at all.

“Solitude can be a wonderful thing until it goes on too long and drifts into loneliness.”

Causes of loneliness:

Living Alone

A Change in Living Situations

A lack of close confidants

Poor Physical or Mental Health

Death of a Loved One

Having Financial Troubles

Feelings of sadness, emptiness, discomfort, or disconnectedness
Feeling left out or isolated from others
A longing for companionship
Feeling like you’re misunderstood or not heard
Feeling isolated even when you're surrounded by others
Feeling exhausted or burnt out by social interactions
Feeling insecure
Ruminating and reminiscing on the past

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More severe symptoms of loneliness can include:

Decreased energy
Insomnia, or sleep problems, such as trouble falling asleep or sleeping more than usual
Feelings of worthlessness
Withdrawal from social events

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Back to the Surgeon General’s comment - the same as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.  Cigarette packages have warnings on them. 

Some cigarette package warnings:

WARNING: Tobacco smoke can harm your children.

WARNING: Tobacco smoke causes fatal lung disease in nonsmokers.

WARNING: Smoking causes head and neck cancer.

WARNING: Smoking causes bladder cancer, which can lead to bloody urine.

WARNING: Smoking during pregnancy stunts fetal growth.

WARNING: Smoking can cause heart disease and strokes by clogging arteries.

WARNING: Smoking causes COPD, a lung disease that can be fatal.

WARNING: Smoking reduces blood flow, which can cause erectile dysfunction.

WARNING: Smoking reduces blood flow to the limbs, which can require amputation.

WARNING: Smoking causes type 2 diabetes, which raises blood sugar.

WARNING: Smoking causes cataracts, which can lead to blindness.

What warnings should we put on being lonely?

WARNING:  LONELINESS can cause chronic stress

WARNING:  LONELINESS can lead to depression

WARNING:  LONELINESS can cause dementia

WARNING:  LONELINESS can lead to heart attacks

WARNING:  LONELINESS can cause strokes

WARNING:  LONELINESS can lead you to feelings of sadness and emptiness

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Okay, I feel like I’m beating a dead horse

Tomorrow - suggestions on how to get out of loneliness - and songs about loneliness:

LOVE WINS
LOVE TRANSFORMS
LOVE CAN BEAT LONELINESS
KAREN ANNE WHITE, ©, MAY 9, 2023

(And, just a sample of lyrics - Eleanor Rigby by the Beatles):

Eleanor Rigby
Picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been
Lives in a dream
Waits at the window
Wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door
Who is it for?

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?