THURSDAY, MARCH 21,2024 - HE FELL IN WITH THE WRONG CROWD

 THURSDAY, MARCH 21, 2024 - “HE FELL IN WITH THE WRONG CROWD”

A cousin of mine died a while back.  I haven’t seen him since his father died – maybe 18 years ago, and before that – maybe 30 years.  Growing up, he was an Eagle Scout – “Mr Clean”.  He was about five years younger than I am – so the death was not of ‘old age.’

He was a very talented musician.  He got a music degree from a college that had an excellent reputation in music. That got him into bands - and those bands played in nightclubs and on road trips.   I’m guessing the nightclubs and long trips away and with a group of people in bars maybe opened a door to him that wasn’t part of his “squeaky clean’ background.  (Please understand I am not implying that musicians in general can go wrong, but for him, the environment was enticing.)

By reports (largely from my sister), he became promiscuous – with both genders.  He became an alcoholic and according to reports – a belligerent alcoholic.  Both are choices he made.  Moved a long way from his parents (his father would visit him alone once a year - but also supported him financially).  My sister, who tried to befriend him, was pushed away but kept loving him despite his animosity.

A friend on Facebook described him this way: “I know many of you who knew him will not remember him fondly; he could be belligerent and unkind. But I was his friend in fair and foul weather. This year was rough for him because of the loss of his sister to cancer. His spirit flagged, and his body failed. R.I.P., old friend.”

In the last three years of his life, he became a recluse – ordering in meals and letting his body waste away. 

My point is that we all make choices; in his case, some of his choices led him into what might be considered “The Wrong Crowd.”  Again, understand the “Right Crowd” and the “Wrong Crowd” imply some kind of judgmental attitude, and I don’t want to judge him.  His actions led to AIDS and a slow death. 

I’ve talked about “A slip can kill you.”   The more frequent the slips, the greater the probability of slips and mistakes. 

But, I want to turn this towards positive thinking. 

Who is the “Good Crowd” for you and the “Bad Crowd” for you?  That depends on you – on your goals – your motivation – your plans – your direction.  For example, if you want to get an advanced degree (a JD – Juris Doctorate – law degree) but spend 10 hours a day playing multiplayer online games, you might be in the wrong crowd.  If you want to start a new business but spend 4 hours at the gym a day building your muscles, you might be in the wrong crowd. 

What might be a “good crowd’? Maybe listening to positive podcasts – about 5 to 10 minutes a day – and you can listen in your car) could be a ‘good crowd.’  Maybe the ‘good crowd’ might be part of an entrepreneurial group that meets monthly to motivate and encourage one another in their business development.  A good crowd might be the positive people, the happy people, and those who do things you agree with.  I commented about being a first-year teacher and quickly learning NOT to go into the teacher’s lounge as it was so negative (and … at that time – smoke-filled).  

Without being (too?) judgmental, I just tend to surround myself with uplifting, happy, positive people and steer away from negative people.

The concept of the “Wrong Crowd” might not be all that bad, but it can affect our time management. I like having a beverage with friends—visiting and having a good time. But doing that more than once or twice a month might reduce my productivity.  

  Sometimes, the “Wrong Crowd” can put you outside the law and of accepted societal norms. 

It is a choice we make – we can choice who we associate with; what ‘crowd’ we are in.  May your choices be positive!!!

*****

Okay, we can understand - and probably know of (if we don’t know) somebody who got into the wrong crowd.

But I know somebody who was associated with dishonest people, wit collectors, and prostitutes. He said being friends with those “from the wrong side of the tracks” was really part of his work.  

I would like to put labels on people - to make them “not my type of friend.”  That is called “judging” - and in the last six years, I have tried to avoid judging.  Tax collectors and prostitutes deserve a smile and a cheery “hello.”  I’ve read stories of how some women became prostitutes - just to support their families, just to earn a few dollars. It was said that prostitutes in the last days of Nazi Germany worked for a loaf of bread. 

I say love is the answer. Maybe my cousin didn’t feel his parents' love and found “friends in low places.”  Maybe he was unloved because of the label “GAY”? 

“I really only love God as much as I love the person I love the least.”

*****

LOVE WINS

LOVE TRANSFORMS

Karen Anne White, ©, MARCH 21, 2024