THURSDAY, MARCH 7, 2024 - BECOMING A WOMAN.

 THURSDAY, MARCH 7, 2024 - THE GREAT EXPERIMENT - PART I (SPIRITUAL)

In conjunction with the International Women's Day, I am writing about becoming a woman - part I today, part II tomorrow.

In 2016, I said, “God smacked me with a two-by-four,” or “A ton of bricks fell on me.”  My brain first decided I had two agreeable parts in my brain - a male part and a female part.  (Kind of like the left-brain, right-brain concept - some macho parts and some tender parts).

As life went on, I had a major surgery in 2017, and somehow, my outlook got cloudy.  Depression set in.  I was frustrated with life as an invalid.  I tried to rush recovery, and somehow, the idea of being a woman became stronger.  (That’s definitely a condensed version!!!)

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I haven’t read the book Black Like Me, but I assume the title (and the notes) reflect how a white man “became” a black man for a period in the 1950s.  

So, why not a book, “A Woman Like Me”? 

I can see the review.  “A white college professor becomes a woman for seven years, and this is what he found.” 

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Okay, well - how does one go about becoming a woman?  

I started with basic clothes. I bought panties. I didn't know how to buy panties, so I bought five for $35 at Lane Bryant. Supposedly, this is one of the main stores for larger women. (Ohh, they were so lacy, so pretty, so wonderful on my bottom. I was hooked.)

Next, I expanded to outerwear. That was tougher. Nobody ever saw my panties. When my wife was gone, I tried on her blouses and dresses. “Be still my heart.” WOW!! I liked bright clothes—and had bright shirts—red, orange, yellow, blue, black, green—and I had a large collection of cartoon ties. I could teach in those bright colors.)

I couldn’t wear my wife’s clothes out in public yet.  

I got a cheap bra at Wal-Mart.  I remember wearing it the first day - under a sweater to church.  It didn’t have much padding, and nobody noticed - but I knew it.  I was wearing lacy panties and a bra.  I was on my way.

My clothes and mental breakthrough came on my first hour-long visit to a mental health counselor.  That first hour was a lot of questions on her part and answers on my part. At the end of the hour, she said, “I need to record a diagnosis.  I’m stuck between depression and gender dysphoria.  My ears picked up - “Gender Dysphoria.”

She opened one of her cabinets, and there was a dress—Tom’s dress. When Tom came for a counseling session, he grabbed the dress and changed it. If you want to bring a dress, that would be fine.  (Be still my heart).

I stopped at a thrift shop and bought a dress.  I changed at home before going to the therapy session.  I also started using the ladies' restroom. Soon, I was enjoying my therapy sessions.  I stopped at a fast food restaurant, went in with my dress, and got a snack.  Nobody looked at me strangely.  I had “passed” a minor test.

Over the next year, my wife kicked me out of the house five times.  The last time was to an apartment (not my choice).  But, as I was alone, I decided to kick the tires and try some things.  I went to a ladies-only coffee group (and became a regular).  I was “accepted”.  

So, the Great Experiment started.  I legally changed my name and my gender and had the appropriate surgery.  I was a woman. (Maybe!!)

LOVE WINS

LOVE TRANSFORMS

Karen Anne White, ©, March 7, 2024