SUNDAY FUNDAY, JULY 14, 2024

 SUNDAY FUNDAY, JULY 14, 2024

First, a note. On July 14, 1789, French citizens stormed the Bastille Prison - and the French Revolution was off and running.

This was where the King, Nobles, and even the church kept the peasants in rags.  The quote is not true, but the sentiment is: that Marie Antoinette said, “Let them eat cake”, when she was told there was no bread for the people.

The historical pendulum swung violently backward until chaos was the norm in France - until Napolean took over. 

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Some July Jokes

What did August say when June claimed that today is the last day of the month?

Don’t July to me!

What’s more patriotic than the Fourth of July?

The half of July

 How do Americans spend the 4th of July weekend?
Stuck in traffic after watching fireworks!!

Why the 4th of July?
J is the 1st,
U is the 2nd,
L is the 3rd,
Y is the 4th

How do pandas stay cool in July?
They use bear conditioning.

This is ridiculous. It’s July 6th, and people are still setting off fireworks.
One almost caught our Christmas decorations on fire.

How is looking up your symptoms on WebMD like your July Horoscope?
It’s probably cancer.

What did the ghost say on the 4th of July? Red, white, and boo!

What do you consume on the 5th of July?
An independence-day old pizza.

What do you call a snowman on the 4th of July?
A puddle.

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The Rockmoor Neighborhood group went camping.  It was time for dinner.   Kitty, Shirley, Carol, and Setta planned the evening dinner.  Orville, Dave, and Carl gathered the wood.  Karen and Irv were going to do the cooking. Henry was in charge of bringing the matches, and Robert was starting the fire.

Robert couldn’t start the fire, so he complained to Nancy (who was leading). Nancy asked Henry about the matches, and Henry replied, “I know the matches are good.  I tested all of them last night.”

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Bobby Wayne woke up and looked at the clock. It was 7:07 a.m. on the seventh day of July (the seventh month). He catches bus #7 and stops at a cafe for a taco and coffee—the bill (with tax) was 7.77.  

WOW, he thought. This is my lucky day!!! So, he went to the race track, and in the seventh race of the day, there was a horse named “Lucky Universe.” 

He bet $7,000 on Lucky Universe - and guess what?

The horse came in seventh place!!!

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ERMA BOMBECK QUOTES

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

I have a theory about the human mind. A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only take so many facts, and then it will go on overload and blow up.

Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill.

Guilt - the gift that keeps on giving

When humor goes, so does civilization.

There is nothing more miserable in the world than arriving in paradise and looking like your passport photo. 

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I hope I will not have a single bit of talent left, but I can say I’ve used everything you gave me. 

I’ve been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I’ve lost 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be about 10 pounds.

“Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere.”

“Kids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.”

Family is not an important thing. It's everything.

You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle. Still, with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism." 

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LOVE WINS

LOVE TRANSFORMS

Karen White

July 14, 2024