TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 9, 2021 THE GOOD, THE BAD, THE UGLY

 TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 9, 2021 - THE GOOD, THE BAD, THE UGLY - PART I

I started a part-time job in September.  Sometimes I’m not sure why.  My life is full, symphony orchestra, granny basketball, social bridge, two small groups, a daily blog, exercise, friends, and more to keep me busy.

This part-time job is at a residential senior living complex.  There are two large buildings - the east building and the west building for the independent living complex; there is an assisted living complex (I’ve been in that once), a memory unit, a rehab facility, and a skilled nursing facility.  All of this means that this is a big operation.  This is one of Georgetown Texas’ largest non-governmental employers. 

Getting old is a major part of our society.  Not everybody lives into their 90s, but it has been my privilege to see the senior aging situation up-close and personal.

I picked the title for the next three days not that the facility is bad or ugly (it really is quite a good - maybe even excellent - facility) - but that aging can be good, or it can be bad, or aging can really be quite ugly.

I am going to use made-up names and even some amalgamation of some people in this three-day series.

My job title is “Personal Care Assistant”.  More on that later.

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SOME GENERALIZATIONS

While I don’t know the actual data, it seems like almost all of the residents are in their 90s.  (Of the group I see, all are in their 90s)

Most of the people in this facility use walkers.  There are very few motorized vehicles.  There are a few people with canes and very few people who wall without assistance. 

Most people in this facility have hearing aids.  My personal bias is that while hearing is important, sometimes the equipment (aka hearing aids) is troublesome.  The batteries run out, they are not adjusted properly, they don’t fit well, they buzz, and some have forsaken “these blasted things”.  One of the residents says “Ma’am” when she doesn’t catch what I said.  Another has her television at full sound (at least she does put it on mute when I show up).

Some admit to “forgetfulness”.  “What day is this might be a common question.  There is a quip “When you are retired, all days are Sunday”.  

Some make an effort to get out and do things, and others are shrinking back in their comfort zone.

I see ten residents on a regular basis.  Nine of them are female.  The majority of residents in this facility are women, but there are some couples and some single men.  

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Examples:

Emily (I haven’t met an Emily there - yet - so a pseudonym) is 95.  Seemingly she had a mild stroke.  She doesn’t talk much.  When I first met her (on a training/observation evening), she was watching television.  We (my trainer and I) and watched television with her until it was time to take her to dinner.  Not that television is bad, but it has become more of a ‘friend’ than real people.

Early on, my trainer said Emily likes to play cards.  We have been playing a modified gin rummy since then.  (I’ve played that game where you needed a certain number of points to put some cards down, but there is no counting here).

She does fairly well.  I win some and she wins more (yes, I let her win).  She is in her chair and I’m on a sofa and I can see her hand and I can intentionally discard something she can use. She sometimes misses a good play and sometimes misplays.  At 95, I think she does well and I’m sure it helps her brain to be challenged some.

I’ve tried some other games.  I took a 24 piece kids puzzle and that wasn’t her thing.  I had to suggest putting the piece with some yellow next to another piece with yellow on it.  

I’ve played a memory game with her. I take four Aces, four eights, and four twos out of the deck mix them up, and put them facedown and she has to make pairs.  Early on, I first laid out the cards face up for a minute so she could remember the location, then turned them over.  That worked quite well.  

I took an easy coloring page with a jack-o-lantern on it and colored pencils and she colored for about a minute and didn’t like that.  

And, (talking about the ‘bad’ and ‘ugly’) she has some issues with incontinence.  Lately, when I come in, her bed needs to be made as the morning care assistant had put the sheets in the laundry.

Emily has two sons - and I’ve met them both.  They seem to really love their mother.  They get her groceries, fill her pill container, and even buy clothes for her.  

But, although functioning quite well, it seems like Emily has withdrawn in her personal communication.  Her lack of conversation skills might have been from the stroke, or it might just be an aging problem.

End result - Emily at age 95 is getting old.  Some body parts are just wearing down.  She doesn’t seem to participate in any groups.  She seems to be in her little world.

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Tomorrow and Thursday, I’ll ‘paint’’ the pictures of other seniors that I see.  What can I learn from these people?  Aging is inevitable, it can be ugly.  It can be painful.

More for the next two days.

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If you have an aging parent or friend, do let LOVE WIN.  Call them, visit them, and love them.

Karen