TUESDAY, JANUARY 25, 2022 I HAD A PARTY

 TUESDAY, JANUARY 25, 2022 I HAD A PARTY

I had a party last week!!  Sorry, you weren’t invited.  Only three people were there - Me, Myself, and I. 

Yes, I had my very own “Pity Party”.  

And, I had TWO things to celebrate!!!  WOOHOO!!!

*****

The first was a stupid thing I had done at my bridge group.  The facility coordinator likes to keep the air fresh.  The coffee maker has two hot plates.  This time, the fresh coffee was on the lower hot plate - freshly made - good and hot - ready to drink.  But, I don’t like to take the fresh coffee - after all I frequently reheat my coffee at home in the microwave - so I grabbed the container (not a pot) that was on the top burner and poured it in my mug.  

Yuck!!  It wasn’t coffee, but an air freshener on the hot plate - sending out warm scented greetings to the senior center - and it was partially wax.  And, now I had a mug of nicely scented, hot waxy air freshener in my mug.  

Nobody was looking, so I went over the sink, and dumped it out - and down the drain.  But, as it was waxy it didn’t go down the drain nicely, but kind of coated the drain.  (I wasn’t noticing this).

I left the bridge group early to have real coffee with a friend - and not knowing I had messed up the drain.  (ouch).  

That was last week and this week, the coordinator made an appeal “DON’T TAKE ANY HOT AIR FRESHENER that might be on the hot plate!!”  (Meaning - “Karen - you messed up - you messed up my drain - that was really stupid!!”).  

*****

The second reason to celebrate was from work.  I was to give a medication to a resident (again, I’m working as an aide/care assistant at a senior living facility).  As I arrived, I tried to get the medication out of the lady’s pill box.  The cell to the pill box didn’t want to open.  I shook the pill box - and no rattle - my conclusion was that the lady must have taken the pill with another aide.  

I reported this to my supervisor who reminded me that the particular pill is rather large and probably was jammed in the pill box cell - and that I should have invested more time and effort to get the cell on the box opened.  And, yes, I should have  - that was pretty stupid, Karen.  

Okay - true confessions.  This lady is - ahh - a bit of a complainer - and I don’t always like helping her out (as I will do it invariably do it wrong and she will tell me I’m doing it wrong).  [Aside, is this Karen - the Pollyanna - writing this?  Karen who says she had to LOVE everybody?   So, Karen - you make stupid mistakes occasionally?  ]

 *****

So, two stupid things.  

*****

Now, I don’t mind doing stupid things at home - that doesn’t affect anybody but me.  BUT - to do stupid things that cause more work for somebody else, that is bad.  

So, I did some dumb things - that made the senior center facilitator work to clean it up; and that another aide had to go and get the pill I couldn’t find.  

 

And, my “enemy” started in on me.  “Karen, you just can’t do anything right”, “Karen, that was a dumb move”, “Karen, you don’t deserve to be alive!!!!”  (That’s the one that opened my Pity Party).

*****

And, so, this stupid, dumb, irresponsible, senseless, ludicrous, foolish person had to mope around for about three hours on Saturday.  

I had to get my head back on straight.  Fortunately for my work environment, my boss said “That’s okay, we all make mistakes”.  [Me: “But, Sarah, I’m made more than my share of mistakes!!” From Sarah, “That’s okay Karen - you’re still learning’]  

“Karen, you don’t deserve to be alive”.  That theme has been around a while.  My enemy (call it my negative self, Satan, the accuser, whoever) likes to undercut me and make me feel sad. 

From Amy Grant (too many years ago):

“Are you living in an old man's rubble

Are you listenin' to the father of lies

If you are then you're headed for trouble

If you listen too long, you'll eventually die”

That enemy comes to steal my joy and happiness.  I generally don’t let him into my mind - but I did two stupid things and “poof” there he is - “You don’t deserve to be alive”.  

*****

I got out and walked.  I walked at the Georgetown Recreation Center.  I talked with my friends Marie and John and watched the kid’s basketball teams play.  I shot some baskets.  And as quickly as that “Old Man’s Rubble” started it went away.  

****

It is my observation that we all can get down on ourselves - maybe even more so as we age.  My seniors are questioning their value “Nobody wants me, nobody needs me, I guess I’ll go eat dirt”.  

I don’t have pity parties very frequently, but I need to be aware of when I do stupid things and I mess up, I can pretty easily slip into the negative.

YES - LOVE WINS!!  (And, if you will, I’m the child of the King - so back off enemy)

Karen White

January 25, 2022