Making Friends #4

Making Friends #4

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/friendship-20/201605/10-ways-make-and-keep-friendships-adult

I'm doing a series on making and keeping friends

As an adult, I have moved a few times and had to make new friends - or friends have moved away
from me and I have lost them (even if we stay in touch).

I’ve discussed six points

1)  Making friends is a matter of health.

2) Embrace Quality and not Quantity.

3) Ride out transitions.

4) Expect some false starts.

5) Commit to community

6)  Focus on follow-up!!  

Today two more points

7) Avoid technology traps.

Yes, technology is good for communication - but it isn’t the same as face-to-face or voice-to-voice
communication

The article said:

“When we rely too much on our screens instead of our faces and voices, our
interactions can be dehumanized. Face-to-face and even voice-to-voice contact
bring a level of spontaneity, warmth, and engagement that our souls were not
meant to be without. “

The article suggests that when you are out with people, put your phones away.  The first one to
pick up their phone has to pay the lunch or coffee bill. If you “have” to use your phone -
think about it. It is going to take away from real human interaction.

8) Develop and keep the momentum

The article suggests:

“We’ve all been there: An attempt to get old coworkers, new moms, neighbors, or old
classmates together stalls after the seventh “reply-all” response where no time seems to
work for everyone. Or you like to chat with a dear friend on the phone, but both of you are
always too busy to pick up. If you want to stay close, stop letting schedules contribute to the
deterioration of the relationship. Pick a standing time—the second Sunday of every month is
brunch, for instance, or every Wednesday afternoon is a phone chat during your commutes—and
let it work automatically. The magic comes soon after when the event becomes routine and i\
ingrained and continues on its own—no planning needed.”

Set aside a time for communication.  I have a great friend that we go for breakfast on Saturday
mornings (if we can).  We laugh and talk - and (like magic) an hour-and-one-half has passed.
Keeping friends has to be a priority - that you will drive a distance to see friends - and clear your
schedule to make it happen.

So, do these two suggestions (avoid technology and build momentum) help in thinking about friends?

Tomorrow, we will finish the last two items.

Karen