Toxic People - part III

Toxic People - part III

I’ve been doing a series on toxic people.  Most will come from this article: https://www.lifehack.org/283358/15-ways-clever-people-handle-toxic-people

But, yesterday was a diversion from my own thoughts and beliefs.  So, back to the article today!!

#5 Toxic people trip themselves up

For me, consistency in living is important.  But, it seems from the article that toxic people sometimes weave stories and thus (as the title here) trip themselves up.

The article puts it this way:  “Toxic people will often lie compulsively, not just to others, but to themselves. They will often perform mental gymnastics to convince themselves that their lies are a reality. Unfortunately, lies are actually very hard to keep up. Recounting a true event is relatively easy, but keeping track of a bunch of made-up stories is difficult. Liars end up exposing themselves over time, by contradicting themselves with other lies.”

#6 Toxic people can be quarrelsome

Yes, toxic people can be ‘drama queens’.  They can love to fight and rile up the status quo.  

The article has an interesting comment when toxic people fight “It’s nothing to do with me”.  Can you stay out of the fight? Or, do you need to be in the fight? Tough questions.

Recently I was with some friends (good friends) that disagree with our current President.  Without taking sides, I see toxic people on both sides. In this case, maybe I can’t stand on the sidelines - but I cannot allow myself to be toxic.  Climate change seems to be a real thing. Yes, I am going to die but I do want to leave this earth a better place. Can I work for change for myself and positive change for the environment without going negative?  How can I “agree to disagree” without pointing fingers?

#7 Toxic people can be bullies

The article suggests standing up to bullies.  “Most decent people will help the helpless, defend the vulnerable and assist those who need it. Toxic people prey on anybody they consider to be weak. It could be somebody who is a little shy, socially awkward, or even somebody who lacks physical prowess. Toxic people will bully and take advantage of anybody who they think won’t stand up to them, which is why it’s so important to stand up to toxic people, not just for yourself, but for others around you”.

How can we stand up for those who can’t defend themselves?  Tough question.

#8 Don’t allow insults get under your skin.

Like #6 (above) toxic people can be quarrelsome.  They might throw out barbs and insults. Let’s face it, the old rhyme “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but names will never hurt me” is really false.  Yes, sticks and stones can hurt, but some toxic person insulting you can really hurt almost as bad. In the past, I wrote about Marty McFly from the “Back to the Future” movie series who would let Biff’s comment about being “Chicken” get under his skin.  Ignoring insults takes time and practice. A toxic person will keep heaping insults upon you - trying to get you to fight or to react. Let them be like water off a duck’s back - and not affect you.

Personal note:  From my blog yesterday, I am even more convinced within myself (and I’m the only one that I can change) that I need to love all around me - the loveable ones, and those that are not loveable (aka toxic people).  Jesus wrote about “turning the other check” - and that is NOT easy. There are times we have to be in the fight, and there are times when we have to walk away.  

Karen