My Philosophy III

Philosophy III - Forgive

By-the-way - as you read my philosophy, I want you to realize that I have a philosophy, but I don’t always live it.  No way - but I try.  And, it might not quite be a philosophy but more of my goals for living a good life.  

I looked up “Saint Karen” and there seems to be such a person, but not in the Catholic sense of a saint.  It seems to be a fictional world.  But, according to this fictional world (like Lake Wobegon), “February 25 is the Feast Day of Saint Karen of Price, patron of washerwomen. The small town of Price is famous for its hot springs in which St. Karen washed the clothing of the village children for sixty years. For her selfless dedication to laundry, she was elevated to sainthood under the reign of the Lobster Pope.”  (https://thehiddenalmanac.fandom.com/wiki/Saint_Karen_of_Price) 

Today, I want to write about forgiveness.  Alexander Pope wrote: “To err is human, to forgive, divine.” “The meaning is that all people commit sins and make mistakes. God forgives them, and people are acting in a godlike (divine) way when they forgive.” (from Dictionary.com)

I am pretty stupid at times, and I need forgiveness.  And, since I need forgiveness, I also need to forgive others.  There is a phrase “I have sinned in my thoughts, words, and deeds, both in what I have done and what I haven’t done”.

When I look at somebody and mentally judge them, I’m stepping across a border.  (Judge not, lest you be judged).  

And, sometimes it is for something I haven’t done!!  Have I fed the hungry, given water to the thirsty, visited those in jail and hospitals?  Have I shown mercy to others - even if they don’t deserve it?

I need to forgive.  Peter, the disciple of Jesus asked “How many times must I forgive? Seven times?” And Jesus said “Seventy-times seven times.”  (Which really means to me - always forgive).

That can be tough!!  

We’ve all heard the stories of some person (generally a man) who kidnaps and kills somebody.  Generally, the version goes, the daughter gets kidnapped while jogging and raped and then brutally.  Later, outside the courtroom, the parents (with tears in their eyes) say “We forgive him”.  Come on?  Really?  You can forgive the man who raped and killed your daughter?  

Likewise, there are those who have been bullied or abused as a child.  Maybe even the father abused and sexually assaulted his own daughter.  Can the daughter when grown forgive her father for such a heinous crime? 

I say “yes”.  And, I add “You have to”.  If you don’t forgive you are carrying this thing within you.  You are hating what was done to you.  It is like a cancer within you.  It festers and grows and can even become all consuming.  

I have thought over the years if somebody took one of my very precious grandchildren and abused them.  Maybe even rape and kill them.  My first thoughts are to get a gun and avenge this crime.  An eye for an eye.  I haven’t really faced such a situation, but my philosophy says, “I must forgive”.  I can’t carry the burden.  I can rationalize this by thinking - God will ‘nail’ the person eventually, which isn’t much of a loving thought!!!  

Some writers have used the term “Let Go and Let God”.  Turn it over to God (however you see God).  “Vengeance is mine says the Lord”.  

Hey, I am going to live a finite number of years (I have the number 98 in mind - as my mother lived to 98 and my father to 97).  If there is a heaven (more on that in a few days), I don’t want to be excluded because I couldn’t forgive some other fragile human!!  

A quote I like from an Anne Lamont about forgiveness is this: ““Not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.”  Get it out of your system.

In many cases, you can’t do it alone - you need divine help.  Stephen, the first Christian martyr prayed (as he was being stoned): ““Lord, do not hold this sin against them.”; and Jesus also prayed “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.” 

My friends, if I have hurt you, said something stupid, please forgive me.  And, if I have hurt you or others, I do forgive you and all the others.  

I love you all!!

Karen