FRIDAY, MARCH 26 LOVE WINS FRIDAY

 FRIDAY, MARCH 26 LOVE WINS FRIDAY

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.  (Lamentations 3:22-23)

Last Friday, I wrote about “Honoring your parents.”  In the Judeo-Christian tradition, the Ten Commandments are considered foundational.  Commandment #5 is “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.”

But, what if your parents (or father or mother) weren’t very loving?  I have a friend that I’ve been counseling that has remarked that her mother was mean-spirited, negative, and unloving.

So, that puts my friend in the clear about the “Honoring your parents” - because her parents were mean, nasty, hateful.  Doesn’t it?  

(Okay, my bias today is - no, that doesn’t put you in the clear!!)

*****

Now, understand, I’m writing from my philosophy - as my parents were warm and loving!!!  I got so much encouragement, and support from my parents!!!

*****

Story.  Suzie’s mother always harassed her.  “You’re stupid”, “You’re never going to amount to anything”, “You are worthless”, “You are ugly”, “Get out of her, I don’t want even to see you”.  

Now, as a girl, and especially in those teenage years with hormones and self-loathing as part of the process, Suzie “KNEW” she was without value.  No need to go home, no need to live!!  She found acceptance in the other outcasts.  They (and her) were experimenting with weed, alcohol, and sex, and Suzie went along.  Ultimately, her relationship with her mother deteriorated even further.  Why go home and be yelled at, might as well stay with a friend (male or female) overnight and go to school from their house. 

Now grown, with two children of her own, Suzie has tried to establish a relationship with her mother (but still doesn’t get any love or acceptance).  

I met Suzie when I spent four days in the mental health hospital.  I immediately liked her - she was funny, so knowledgeable about movies and music.  (She has a fantastic voice).  But, those words of her mother stick in her head.  She cuts herself as a way of atoning for her ‘sins’.  

How can Suzie love her parents - in particular her mother?  Commandment #5 is “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.”

It takes a very strong action of your brain and will!!  

The Past is past; the Future is unknown; the Present is all we have.  Suzie has (a) determined that she is going to love her mother - even if Mom spits in her face, refuses to acknowledge her, and will not return that love.  The probability is that Suzie’s mother was probably rejected by her parents (especially her mother), and Suzie’s mother just adapted to the rejection by her mother by rejecting Suzie!!   (We tend to model what we have learned in our houses.)

Suzie is attempting to break the negativity-chain from generation to generation.  She absolutely adores her two children and is a great mother. 

Many times I have written we get to choose our attitudes - we can choose to be happy, we also can choose to be unhappy.  We can choose to forgive, or we can choose not to forgive.  We can choose to hold grudges “My mother was mean to me, so I’m going to be mean to her”. 

I can love the unlovely - but it has to be a choice.  Mother Teresa ministered to the dirty, homeless, outcasts of the street.  She (and her religious sisters) had people spit in their faces, and worse - and keep going and service.  Agape love can be complicated - it can be hard to love street people, and those who have a knife at your throat.  

Matthew 5:38-40:

You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to take you to court, and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well.”

C’mon Jesus - turn the other cheek - let them slap it once, then let them slap the other side?  That’s stupid!!  (No Karen, that is love).

Hey - they are taking me to court and they are going to take my computer!!!  (Then, I should give them the monitor, power cord, and printer too!!!!)  (Yes, Karen, that is love).  And, if they want to spit on me, I guess I let it happen.  (You know, trying to live this Judeo-Christian life is complicated!!!) 

******

So, to sum it up - Honor and love your parents are still in effect (at least in my opinion) even if your parents were mean, and beat you.  I guess that is the real meaning of LOVE WINS!!!

******

(Excuse me for being overly religious today.)  “So, Jesus, how much did you love me?”  He puts out his hands and feet and lets the authorities nail him to a cross.  He then says “Karen, I love you this much” - and then stretches out his hands and his feet - and dies for me!!!

LOVE WINS!!!

HUGS!!

Karen