WEDNESDAY, MARCH 10, 2021 - BEING AUTHENTIC

 WEDNESDAY MARCH 10H, 2021 BEING AUTHENTIC - PART II

“If you want to be successful in life, simply watch what most people do in a given situation and then do the total opposite - nine times out of ten, you'll receive greater rewards.” Earl Nightingale

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Let’s think of a river - may be the Mississippi River.  It starts in northern Minnesota and makes its way through and by many states until it ends up in the ocean.  If you were in a canoe you could drift down the Mississippi (probably going through the various locks and dams).  Going downstream is easy, but going against the current is hard.  

But, going downstream generally means “going with the crowd”.  Fit in - be a clone - don’t rock the boat; but going upstream is where you can find new treasures and activities.  

My view on authenticity is that you go against the crowd - go upstream.  It isn’t always easy, but it is more rewarding personally.  

There is a statement “You can’t discover new lands unless you lose sight of the shore”.  Another statement I like is that “a turtle only makes progress by sticking his head out”.  

In my blogs I have encouraged you to get out of your comfort zone - learn, challenge yourself.  That probably will mean going against the flow, (or in the Earl Nightingale quote - do the total opposite).

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Let’s try one more approach - from the Velveteen Rabbit ““Real isn't how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”.

It seems like being authentic you set a standard for yourself.  I know I had varying standards and still do - but to a lesser degree.

Let’s take my teaching in South Dakota or Connecticut.  I was a “Professor”.  Yes, I could be a little crazy, a little unpredictable, but when it came to the classroom, I “had” to deliver material, encourage and challenge my students.

But, then I was a musician (can you call a tuba player a “musician”???)  There were people in my music groups that didn’t know me as a professor.  (I was more reserved)

There were my church and religious groups.  They knew I was a professor but also knew of my spiritual values.  (While I didn’t hide my spirituality from my students or fellow musicians, I didn’t emphasize it).  But, that really was okay - I didn’t know the intricate details of their lives.  I knew them as friends in the orchestra (or whatever organization) 

And, to colleagues when I went to conferences.  We did socialize.  Some I got to know as good friends - as we shared academic work but also life experiences.  (And, yes, I was a little crazy and unpredictable - like stopping traffic as a group crossed a street, or saying “WOOO”)

I generally like who I am.  Sometimes crazy (I prefer “eccentric”), but generally WYSIWYG - “What you see is what you get”

I’m not sure this next is really true, but it is closer than it was before.  I love people, I want them to succeed, but their opinions (and judgment) of me tend not to be as important.  After all, I can’t get “fired” for being retired!!!  (And, being eccentric is part of who I am).

I do want people to like me - and as part of who I am, I “must” love all people.  (“I can only love God as much as the person I love the least”) 

Part of this is the aging process (in my humble opinion).  Art Linkletter, an American television host, and personality had a hit program in “Kids say the darndest things”. One standard question that Linkletter asked of kids was “What did your mother (or parents) tell you not to say to me?”  And, of course, the kids would blab what they weren’t supposed to say. 

As he aged, Linkletter added this comment: “I always used to say that the two best interviews are children under 10 and anybody over 70 because they tell you exactly what they think.”

But, a caveat, being over 70 doesn’t allow me to say mean and nasty things.  

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Phoniness is a human characteristic that can be sensed from miles away.  To me, phoniness is the opposite of authenticity.

I found these items about “phonies”:

. Phonies tend to be very selfish

. Phonies tend to like you so they can use you

. Frequently Phonies like to gossip (Some are “drama queens”_

. Phonies find lying easier than telling the truth at times

. They can be critical

A source said this about phonies: “Overall, relationships with fake people do not result in healthy friendships. Fake friends are often not secure enough in who they are to be real and authentic. They struggle with selfishness, jealousy, and insecurities that keep them from being a true friend. Help your child realize this and move on.”

And, now I’m going to say even though they are phonies, I have to love them. LOVE WINS is a statement - sure - but it has to be a way of life for me.  I am commanded to love - deeply and intensely!!!  (And, without exclusions)

Yes, I know I’ve been a phony every now and then.  Like when I insist that “I am Dr. White, Ph.D., Professor Emeritus, with numerous honors.  But, 99% of the time, I’m just “Karen”, a happy, smiling, friendly, friend!!!

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LOVE WINS!!!

HUGS

Karen