SATURDAY MAY 8, 2021  SATURDAY STORY

Another “Fractured Fairy Tale by Karen” 

*****

“Look”, said Waldo Wolf. “Yes, I have sharp teeth, yes, I am kind of ugly” (editor’s note - not just kind of ugly Waldo), “Yes, I have bad breath, but I’ve been given a bum rap for years.

“It’s really kind of a long story, but a wizard put a spell on me so that I am a vegetarian - I don’t eat pigs, I don’t eat humans, I only eat vegetables, cheese, bread, peanut butter (my favorite), but no flesh”.

“I’ve tried to tell my neighbors - but every time I get close they run away.”  

“I guess I do like solitary life.  Not even my wolf and other predators like me. “

“So, to make up for it, I’ve tried to be friendly, helpful, and outgoing.”

“This story begins when I am in the woods doing my daily workout.  Sit-ups, pull-ups, grasshoppers, thrusts, and more.  And, along comes Little Red.  I don’t really know her name.  I think it might be Matilda or something like that - but she always wears a red coat with a red hood.  I’ve heard the others call her ‘Little Red Riding Hood’ - so I guess that is good enough,”

She had a basket with her and I stopped her to say ‘hi’.  I asked her where she was going, and she said she was going to Granny’s house.  Granny is one of my only friends, and I generally go over to her place about 3:00 in the afternoon, because always takes a nap from 1:30 to 2:30.  It was exactly 1:45, and I know that Granny was taking her nap.  

And, Granny didn’t like being interrupted - I knew from experience.  It was almost like reverse roles - as Granny just about bit off my head that day I woke her from her nap!!!

Since Granny is my friend, and since Little Red was almost on a collision course with Granny, I tried to discourage her.

AND, as I looked in her basket, I saw the giant economical size of PEANUT BUTTER!  And that brings up another point.  Granny is peanut intolerant, and I LOVE peanut butter.  She told me once that she had to be hospitalized when she had some peanut butter cookies a few years back.  But, I did know that Granny was smart enough to NOT open the peanut butter, but it might offend her if Little Red gives her that humongous jar!!!

So, I first tried to delay Little Red - if she got to Granny’s house too early there would be trouble.  But, Little Red said she had softball practice at 3:00, so she had to get there soon so she could be back in time for practice.

I offered to take the package myself - so she could go to practice early, but she said “No”.  

So, I finally told her the truth about Granny’s nap and her peanut butter allergy.  She doubled up laughing and said something like “You are so funny, Waldo.”  Then she really hurt me. “I bet you ate Granny up.”  That was totally false - I was a new wolf, but it didn’t seem to fit my persona.

So, I said “goodbye” to Little Red, and I know lots of shortcuts through the woods and got to Granny’s house in about two minutes (I’m quick when I need to be).

I quietly went in, saw that Granny was sound asleep in her bed, so I grabbed a nightgown of Grannys, closed her door, put on the nightgown, and went into the living room and sat in Granny’s rocking chair - all prim.  It was my intent to say ‘hi’ to Little Red, take her basket and get her on her way - without waking up my friend Granny.

Well, the best-laid plans don’t always work.

Somehow, Little Red managed to knock so hard on the door that it would wake the dead.  When I opened the door, she screamed at twice the volume of the knocking.  All of which woke Granny.

Little Red called 911 on her phone, the police arrived and took me to jail.

*****

I sat in the jail for two days until Granny and Red finally understood.  But, by then the media had the story all wrong.

But, now, you do understand that I had the best of intentions!!

*****

Okay, short and sweet.  

Granny and Waldo made up and were best of friends.  And, sometimes on summer picnics, Little Red Riding Hood joined us - but NO peanut butter and jelly sandwiches!!

*****

Love WIns!!

Karen