MONDAY, MAY 24, 2021 “CAN SOMEBODY HELP ME”

 MONDAY, MAY 24, 2021 “CAN SOMEBODY HELP ME”

When my parents moved into an assisted living facility (and greatly enjoyed it), there was a gentleman in an apartment across the hall.  His day consisted of sitting in his wheelchair in the hallway and saying to anybody who walked up or down the hall, “Can somebody help me?”.  

Now, this was an excellent assisted living facility  There were sufficient nurses and aides.  The meals were good, there were activities appropriate for the age level (bingo, sing-a-long, worship services, exercises, and more).  

I’m sure this gentleman got attention throughout the day.  

Maybe his mind was slipping from assisted living into a dementia living environment.  

I asked an aide and was told he had a son that never visited his family, and just paid the bills.  He had the necessities of life - shelter, warmth, meals, clothes, medical attention, but was missing out on attention and love. (My bias, I did not inquire into the actual case as to why the son never visited.  For all, I know the son did love his father and did call and visit when he could, but because he was stationed in Afghanistan or some location, his physical presence was limited. ).

Somehow, over a period of time, his rare call “Can somebody help me” - such as can somebody help put on my socks and shoes, or can somebody help me get to the toilet, became a mantra - maybe like the clerk at a story, who says “Have a nice day” to customers as they check out.  That clerk may say her message “Have a nice day” to hundreds of customers in a day.  It is not very meaningful, it probably isn’t that the clerk wants or even cares if the customer HAS a nice day.  It is a message that says “I’m done, next customer please”.  

(Aside, I’m trying to gain eye contact with check-out clerks and then say “Have a blessed day” in a happy, cheery voice.  It might be just enough different than “Have a nice day”.  With establishing eye contact, the clerk just might feel “blessed” - that somebody does care if she has a real nice (aka “blessed”) day.  

Yes, we all get into our routines - our ruts.  When I substitute taught the last few months I said a cheery “Good Morning”, and generally got a “Good Morning” back.  This elderly gentleman had over time, fallen into his routine “Can anybody help me”, but, if I am interrupting the actions of another, didn’t really need any help, other than attention.

How about some humor at this point. Picture this as a cartoon. A man fell over a cliff and somehow managed to grab the only handhold - a bare root.  He is holding on for his life.  He has managed a look down, where there are jagged rocks and sure death.  And, his hold on the root is starting to slip.  He yells “Can anybody help me?”.  After a few minutes, a voice answers him.

“Hello, this is God.  What can I help you with”.

The man explains the help he needs to God, and finishes with “Can you help me”.

Again, God’s booming voice answers.  “Let go of the tree root”.

That is not the answer he wants, and after a few more seconds, he started yelling again, “Is there anybody else that can help me?”  

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The man just couldn’t let go of the tree root, it was all he had.  His rational mind said ‘if I let go of the tree root, I will die. 

Sometimes we might mentally yell “Can anybody help me?” - but we are only going to accept the perfect answer - like a helicopter, or a sudden deposit of a million dollars in our bank account.  

Maybe letting go of the tree root IS the ONLY solution that works.  Maybe there is something we don’t see when we look down, as years of autumn leaves waiting at the bottom of the cliff that will cushion my fall, but we can’t see them.  Maybe trusting God is the ONLY solution.  

I envision that all of us will die someday.  And, maybe we all are yelling “Can anybody help me?” - when the real solution is to accept death and let go.  

If you know somebody who is yelling “Can anybody help me”, help them get help - but not everyone will accept the help they are offered.  The help comes with too high of a price - letting go of all that they have.  (And, if they want, I’ll be glad to talk and counsel with them)

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So, maybe the solution is to “let go”.  There is an expression - “Let Go, and Let God”.  but that can come at a high price - letting go!!!

Who can you (and really, who can I) reach out to today, to help, bring hope, and bring light to the darkness?

Because LOVE WINS!!!

Hugs!!

Karen