TUESDAY MAY 18, 2021 CAN YOU READ MINDS? A “PROTOCOL” APPROACH.

 TUESDAY MAY 18, 2021 CAN YOU READ MINDS? A “PROTOCOL” APPROACH.

Acts 14:8-10 In Lystra there sat a man crippled in his feet, who was lame from birth and had never walked. This man was listening to the words of Paul, who looked intently at him and saw that he had faith to be healed. In a loud voice, Paul called out, “Stand up on your feet!” And the man jumped up and began to walk.…

Paul “SAW” that the man had faith to be healed.  (Or, “sensed”?)

Now, we do ‘read’ body language and facial expressions.  I think I can reasonably tell if a person is kind, or is upset.  Are we ‘reading’ this or sensing it?  

In this example, Paul SAW that the man had faith to be healed.  I think that isn’t necessarily a facial expression or a smile.  

Let’s kick that concept around.  Can you ‘tell’ if somebody is hurting?  Can you see through the exterior facial features?  We, humans, are good at disguising our emotions.  (Or, at least we think we are).  What would it take to break through the barrier and say, “Hey, can we talk?” (assuming that there is a time and place to talk).

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At times, I’ll admit, I’ve been clueless, and at times, I’ve been understanding.  I’m not sure if that is from being ‘sensitive’ (like the scripture above), and seeing the person in a new light.

 

In my work and study over the years, I think I have developed some sensitivity.  

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Point 1:  Get on the right protocol.

Paul, in the scripture above “looked intently at him”.  Do I establish rapport with a person, can I look intently at a person.  In my recent travels, in the hotel where I stayed after my surgery, my laptop connected to the internet just fine, but my phone did not.  Communication needs a good “connection”.

Maybe 20 to 25 years ago, II was in a grocery store, there weren’t many in the store, and in the frozen aisle, there were two people - me and a lady.  And, I heard her distinctly say, “I love you”.  That gave me a little shock, did she confuse me with somebody else, was this somebody I hadn’t seen in a long time?  My back was to her, and her back was to me - but I knew we were the only two people in the frozen aisle and were about five feet apart.  And, she loves me?  That was mind-boggling!!  . I turned to say something, but she wasn’t looking at me.  I was going to say something like “excuse me, were you talking to me?”

But, then she turned around, and I could see she had something next to her ear.  This was in the early days of cell phones and - of course - she wasn’t talking to me but to somebody, she loved on the phone. (I didn't have a phone and this was an amazing discovery).

So, If I want to ‘read minds’, we need to be on the same communication link.  There are thousands of stories where one person was thinking one thing and the other person was thinking sometime else.  In one such story, a man is talking about his boat - using pronouns like ‘she’, ‘she is getting old, ‘she needs fixing up’, ‘ she just doesn’t have it anymore,’ and (gasp), ‘she has been leaking’.  The other person thought the person was talking about his wife getting old, and needing fixing up.  

With computing, there are various ‘protocols’ - HTTP - hypertext transfer protocol, FTP - file transfer protocol, SMTP - simple mail transfer protocol.  In ordinary life, we have various protocols too.  If I am speaking English and you are speaking Spanish, we will not understand each other.  So, to be sensitive, we need to be using the same protocol, and on the same track.

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Point 2: Readiness state

If I am to be sensitive to the needs of others, I need to have my receptors on.  A phone conversation doesn’t work if my phone isn’t on, and yours is. (Although you could leave a message).

I like to call this ‘readiness’.  (doh).  Am I ready to communicate, am I ready to establish a stronger protocol, am I ready to be sensitive to the needs of other people.  

The scripture (above), says, “This man was listening to the words of Paul, who looked intently at him and saw that he had faith to be healed.  The two ends of the communication chain were set to the ready state.  

Ready to communicate

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Point 3 - Watch out for bad signals

With my hotel stay, the internet was spotty.  With communications protocols, there are ‘check digits’ and ‘packet controls’. If a message was not received properly, these check digits can come back and say “Hey, that was garbled and didn’t come through properly.”

I didn’t catch the “check digits” a month or so ago.

A friend contacted me ‘out-of-the-blue.  We texted back-and-forth for a while and ended with “let’s do coffee sometime when this pandemic is over”.  I really wasn’t practicing my listening/communication skills and protocols and she killed herself about a week after we interacted.  We weren’t close, but that still came as a shock.

Maybe as I saw her first text, I should have put my antenna up.  It’s been six months, and a pandemic - did my name just pop up in her mind and she was nice enough to text me - or was there a little “small still voice” hidden in her text?   I wasn’t really fully into my communications protocol.

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Point 4

Let’s think of computers and communication.  My computer doesn’t understand.  It takes oodles of ones and zeros (aka binary digits) and throws them around.  If somebody says “f*** you” to me in a text message, my computer doesn’t understand the implications of that phrase.  (Things are changing with AI (artificial intelligence) and various malware packages).  My computer doesn’t judge me. It doesn’t try to put a spin on those ones and zeros. 

WRAP-UP.

Can I read minds?  Not really, but can I be open to deeper communication?  Can I establish protocols for communications?  Can I be full-duplex in terms of passing and receiving communications?

Maybe it is time for me to check my connections, to see if I am fully aware and fully communicating.

LOVE WINS!!!

Karen