Vulnerable - Part I

Being Vulnerable

https://www.growingself.com/how-to-be-more-vulnerable-in-relationships/

Okay, kind of a tough topic today.  The article says:

“Being vulnerable means “being seen” for who and what you are, and exposing yourself to the potential for hurt. While this may sound intimidating, the alternative is often worse: Being closed off can lead to loneliness, and feeling unseen, and unknown by others.”

Being quite honest, I don’t like being hurt!!!  Simon and Garfunkel sang “I am a Rock, I am an Island.  And a rock feels no pain, And an island never cries”

Many times I have talked about growing, about expanding your comfort zone - and guess what - that can cause hurt and pain.  Better to shrink than to get our feelings hurt; better to live a ‘nothing’ life than risk humiliation - right?  

NO - to be authentic, we need to be ourselves.  And, to be so authentic, we have to open ourselves up and be vulnerable.

The author of the article shared this:

“When it comes to your relationships, vulnerability is (paradoxically) the key to having a closer, more intimate, and ultimately more satisfying connections with other people. Conversely, if you keep your guard up all the time, you’ll be missing out on having truly meaningful and authentic connections with the most important people in your life.”

And she adds this:

“Being vulnerable means sharing the most important, authentic parts of yourself with someone who matters to you — and risking rejection.  Being vulnerable means “being seen” for who and what you are, and exposing yourself to the potential for hurt. While this may sound intimidating, the alternative is often worse: Being closed off can lead to loneliness, and feeling unseen, and unknown by others.”

***** 

We put shells around ourselves.  Like the Simon and Garfunkel song - we are rocks.  Rocks don’t get hurt.

People get hurt in relationships and sometimes that causes us to pull ourselves in and become a turtle or a rock or an island.

But, then we lose part of ourselves - the part that wants to love, the part that wants to be open to our spouses and families.  Some of us know stoic parents or others that were ‘hard-boiled’. Frequently these are men - who have been taught not to cry, not to show their emotions.  

As I transition, I find my emotions are growing.  Yesterday as I was cleaning the floors, I was singing along with my Pandora music and laughing at myself.  As I write, it is National Hug day. I LOVE to give hugs. Human touch is important. But, if you say “No, don’t hug me” it can hurt me.  I want to share happiness and love!! But, I have an informal vow to “love-one-another”!!!

Yes, loving and being vulnerable can open us up to pain and hurts, but it also can let us be free.  

Tomorrow, more on vulnerability!!!

Hugs!!

Karen