THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 14, 2023, R U OK?

 THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 14, 2023 - RU OK?

This week, I’ve used the National Today Calendar for topics.  Monday was Patriot Day, commemorating September 11, 2001; Tuesday was Encouragement Day; Wednesday was Positive Thinking Day. 

This is Suicide Prevention Week.  In Australia, Friday is R-U-OK day.  

R U OK? Focuses on building the help-giver's motivation, confidence, and skills, especially in quickly recognizing suicidal ideations. The organization contributes to suicide prevention by encouraging people to invest more time in their relationships and build an informal support network — friends, family, and colleagues. It is more about developing one’s skills as a helper than asking for help when needed. Are You Okay Day also tries to remove the stigma of mental illnesses.

Do you have friends who might be considering ending their life?  Build a relationship where you can call and ask, “Are you Okay?”

(Very personal aside - I spent four days in the Rock Springs facility on SE Inner Loop in 2019 with thoughts of suicide and what was my value)

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Research shows people who are having thoughts of suicide feel relief when someone asks after them in a caring way. Findings suggest acknowledging and discussing suicide may reduce rather than increase suicidal ideation.

HOW CAN ONE CARE?

First, we need to have a relationship.  Be a friend to people, smile, be open, don’t be too busy, take time to know a person.

I have written that love is maybe spelled “T  I  M  E.”  

Some churches have a “Stephen Program.” Named after Stephen (the first martyr in Christianity).  (Acts 6:8 - “Stephen, a man full of God’s grace and power, performed amazing miracles and signs among the people”)

The Stephen Program usually has a volunteer spend an hour a week as a sponsor with somebody who requests help.  The pastor or a family member might suggest that a person needs somebody to talk to.  

I was a Stephen Minister for two years.  I met weekly with a man who was depressed about losing his job, unable to provide for his family, and down on life.  We talked and prayed.  This person was a man of faith, so we prayed for many things in his life.  We prayed for his three children as they were teenagers and were frightened about Dad, that God would comfort them; we prayed for his wife, jobs, and circumstances.

Some people meet in a coffee shop and just talk.  We met in a church near him (not either of our churches - but a Catholic Church that has doors open all day for people to pray and meditate.

And, yes, I became a friend, prayed for and with him, and loved him.  

(Of course, the program director didn’t know what to do with our relationship when I transitioned!!!)

For kids, many communities have Big Brother /Big Sister organizations where an adult helps out a child.  It might be a single mother who just can’t reach her daughter, and having somebody else take her for lunch, or to basketball games, or the movies - lets the child know that somebody (other than Mom - who is generally poor and burdened with life) loves them and spends TIME with them.

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After establishing a relationship, build on it so you can have those tough talks - R U OK? (Are you okay?).  

The child (or adult or friend) may not want to share their thoughts of suicide with their parent (or spouse) but might share with a caring, non-judgmental individual. 

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LISTEN

I say we need to put up our antennas - listen for what is said and what isn’t.  

Let’s take another example.  A boy feels like he wants to be a girl (or a girl wants to be a boy).  They need somebody to listen to them and talk with them.  Mom (or Dad) might be so negative that the child won’t speak with them, but they might talk with a caring person.  

Research shows that lesbian, gay, bi, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ) teens are at increased risk of suicide and mental health issues like depression and anxiety. One of the most startling statistics is that LGBTQ teens consider suicide and make suicide attempts at about four times the national rate for all adolescents. 

Build rapport - so you can ask, “RU OK?” - and the depressed person can answer honestly.  

Someone talking about their struggles—or not—doesn't have to keep you from helping them. 

Use these tips to provide support to people who may be suicidal:

Allow them to express their feelings by listening to them and accepting them.

Be active. Remove potential means to help prevent suicide and consult individuals or organizations specializing in crisis intervention and suicide prevention.

Be non-judgmental.

Don't act shocked or remain secretive.

Show interest, support, availability, and involvement.

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LOVE WINS

LOVE HELPS THOSE IN DEPRESSION TO SEE POSITIVE THINGS

LOVE TRANSFORMS

KAREN ANNE WHITE, ©, SEPTEMBER 14, 2023