FRIDAY FEBRUARY 12, 2021 - LOVE WINS!!!

 FRIDAY FEBRUARY 12, 2021 - LOVE WINS!!!

This week we have looked at aging - and dying.  Let's take another look at that from a LOVE WINS perspective

Love is patient and kind.

Story (partially from yesterday), John was a curmudgeon, crabby, old man.  Seemingly his only relative was a nephew in Boston who rarely had interaction with him.  He had fallen, used a cane, had emphysema and other health issues.  John was nominally a member of the Good News Church which had a Stephen Ministry program.  Somehow John's name came up to the Stephen MInistry coordinator who assigned Roger Reid to be John's Stephen Minister.

Roger called John and set up the first meeting at John's apartment.  John wasn't sure if he wanted a Stephen Minister, as he really didn't know what that meant, but when Roger said he was from Good News Church, and just wanted to stop by, John relented.  

For the first meeting, Roger didn't really know what to expect.  He has asked the pastor, Paula Williams, who said she didn't know John well - but that he was a recluse and maybe crabby.  That wasn't quite a good introduction, but Roger forged ahead.

Roger arrived at the scheduled time and found that he woke John up from a nap in his recliner.  But, to Roger's surprise, John wasn't groggy, but awake and willing to talk.  Roger tried to talk about the Stephen Ministry program, but John wanted to talk a bit about the church from years before.  "Did you ever know Evelyn Peterson?  She directed the choir and I sang in the choir for a few years".  Roger had been active in Good News Church for about twelve years and didn't know Evelyn Peterson - so that had been before his time.  Roger tried to think of some real old-time members.

"Do you know Harley Steele?" Roger asked.

John nodded and commented "Harley was almost always an usher.  I can picture him with a carnation in his lapel.  He seemed to be a nice guy."

Roger tried to encourage John to talk more about Harley or any other people he remembered.  Some people that John mentioned, Roger vaguely remembered the name - at least one he remembered had a funeral at Good News Church a year or two ago.  There were a couple of people that Roger thought he knew - Elizabeth Garnet and Mark O'Brien.  

So, Roger was going to see if Elizabeth or Mark remembered John.  It seemed like it had been years since John went to church.

After about half-an-hour, Roger sensed that John was getting tired of having him there.  John turned to look at his television - which was turned to Sportscenter and the volume was off, but it caught his attention.  Roger asked John about sports, and John opened up a little - although some of the memories were old - like the Yankees of the 1950s and 60s.  

Roger and John talked sports for a few minutes, and then Roger thought it was about long enough for a first visit, so he led in prayer and arranged with John to come back weekly.  They set the time for the next meeting, and two days before they were to meet, Roger called John just to remind him.

*****
For the next several months, every Friday morning at about 10:00, Roger spent time with John. 

For Roger, it was an act of love.  John wasn’t easy to visit with.  He complained about almost everything.  It was too hot, or too cold.  His apartment rent was too high.  The cable television service was too expensive and had too many problems.  The instructions to Roger were to be an example of God’s love to his Stephen assignee.  He smiled and talked of pleasant things when he had a chance.  He learned that starting off their weekly meeting with “How have you been” was probably not a good choice as John was going to tell Roger all about the health issues he had, how he hated politicians, how his old friends had deserted him.  

Roger did pray with John at the end of the sessions.  It seemed as if John didn’t really pay attention.  John had mentioned that will a member at Good News Church, he never prayed or attended services.  He thought he went to a Christmas service about four years ago.  Roger, on the other hand, was very sincere in his faith, and that was one of the reasons he had opted to be a Stephen Minister.

*****

One day as Roger arrived, the apartment looked dark.  Like normal, he had called the day before and John said: “see you tomorrow”.  Had something come up?

He knocked and thought he heard something - was John sick?  Had he fallen?  Roger tried the door - and it was unlocked (that was good).  He entered slowly calling out “John, it’s me, Roger”, then “John, I’m here”.

He heard something from what he thought was the bathroom.  All of his previous meetings had been in the front room in the small apartment.  

Again, calling out, Roger called “Hey John, it’s me, Roger.”.  Again, he heard something - and it was louder as he walked through John’s apartment.  

John was in the bathroom - on the floor - naked!!

Roger got down on the floor to see how John was.  “Did you break anything?”  He checked, and there wasn’t any blood on the floor.

John answered “I don’t know.  I slipped on the bathroom rug getting out of the shower.  I tried to get up, but couldn’t.”

Roger had some first aid training - but it was many years ago.  It did seem to be just a fall - or he could have a broken leg, hip, or something else.  He touched John’s knee and asked “Is that painful?”

John answered “Not really”.

Next, Roger touched John’s calf.  Immediately John squeezed out  “Ouch” through clenched teeth. 

Although obvious, Roger asked, “Is that where it hurts?”

John whimpered “Yes”

Roger asked, “Do you think you can stand up if I help you?”

John didn’t answer.  

Roger pulled out his phone and called 911.  He described the situation as well as he could.  He was a friend checking up on John Kingston at 1142 on Williams Drive - apartment 203.  John has fallen and he wasn’t sure if anything was broken, but it would probably be good if the EMTs came and checked on him.  The dispatcher said the EMTs would come - it might be 15 to 20 minutes - so keep his friend alert and awake.

***

Roger decided he could keep John occupied with some idle talk.  It was February and the lowest temperatures of the year were forecasted.  John should be happy that he wasn’t out delivering mail (his occupation) these days.  John grunted.  Roger talked about all the snow in Minnesota and New York (and was thinking that ten minutes he had spent watching the Weather Channel came in handy!!)

He talked about college basketball (John had said he didn’t like professional basketball) and how Iowa beat perennial winner Ohio State the other day.  How Baylor was ranked #2 in the latest polls.  He asked if he liked Ohio State or Michigan in basketball (not that he wanted to know John’s preference as much as to keep him alert).  John grunted “Michigan”.  

John’s answers were short and seemed to be painful.  Roger thought he could try for a longer question.  “Why do you like Michigan over Ohio State?”

Roger thought John had said “nephew” and he wasn’t sure what that might mean.  So, Roger asked, “Do you have a nephew in Michigan?”

John grunted what seemed to be ‘yes’.  

That gave Roger a topic - Michigan.  Had John been to Michigan?  What was his nephew like?  Does he have any children?  Roger was trying to keep John alert and awake - and not focused on his pain.  (He also threw a towel over John to keep him warm and cover him up a little.)

It was getting uncomfortable for Roger to be kneeling over the top of John, so he adjusted his position and sat on the floor next to John.  He finally looked around.  It was a typical apartment bathroom. Light beige walls, a toilet, tub/shower combination, a sink with a small medicine cabinet on the wall.  The mirror behind the sink looked like it hadn’t been cleaned for months, and the sink cabinet also could be straightened out.  Roger thought - “Yup - a bachelor who rarely gets guests.”  Looking at the towels by the shower he wondered when the last time they got washed.

And, fortunately, about the time the EMTs arrived.  They knocked and Roger had yelled, “In here - the bathroom”.  Roger got up off the floor - (it wasn’t as easy as when he had been a kid).

The EMTs looked at John on the floor.  The first (who seemed to be the lead EMT) said “Hi” to John and added, “I’m Victor and this is Alfonzo” (nodding to the other EMT).  “We’re trying to see if anything is broken.  Can you talk?”

John mumbled something that sounded like “Yes”.  

*****

For the next ten minutes, the EMTs carefully checked John.  The only really bad spot seemed to be his leg.  They couldn’t tell if he had a hairline fracture or a solid break.  

Victor said “John, we would like to take you for an X-Ray to see if your leg is broken or sprained.  We’re going to help you up - it will be painful, but just let us do the lifting.”

*****

John’s leg was broken.  The hospital set it, He had crutches for a period of time, and Roger visited him almost daily and helped with meals and more.  

After the incident, it seemed to Roger that John was a changed person.  John appreciated Roger more, and John had Roger take him to church and do more than just the once a week Stephen meeting.  He started to get out and even complained less.  

****

So, LOVE WINS is today’s blog - but what does that mean?  It means reaching out to others.  It doesn’t have to be this way, but a phone call, text, email, or other communication helps spread the message of love.  

Does this prompt you to love more?  Let us know!!!

LOVE DOES WIN!!

HUGS!!

Karen