WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 17, 2021 - Being Mortal

 WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 17, 2021

(Ash Wednesday for those of Christian backgrounds)

Two more days on “Being Mortal”

The book has chapters

Chapter 1 - The independent self

The author said “My grandfather lived with us. When we ate, we served him first. When young people came into his home, they bowed and touched his feet in supplication. In America, he would almost certainly have been placed in a nursing home.”

***

It would seem to me that respect for our elders has gone away in the United States.  After all, we have OUR families to raise, we have OUR jobs to do; we have OUR plans - and the elderly of our family (mostly parents) are outside our lives.

We would like independence and respect!!  Many older people have lost their spouses, their children have moved away, their friends have died or moved.  Our elderly sit in their lonely rooms watching television, and watching the clock tick so slowly the seconds of their lives!!

*****

Chapter 2 - Things fall apart

The author said “Decline remains our fate; death will someday come. But until that last backup system inside each of us fails, medical care can influence whether the path is steep and precipitate or more gradual, allowing longer preservation of the abilities that matter most in your life.”  (He also used the term “One damn thing after another” - ODTAA)

***

Psalm 139:14 “praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” - but like most systems, wear and tear do occur.  (Just ask my car transmission!!!)

YUP - medicine can fix a lot of things - heart values, cancer treatment - but how do you fix a broken heart?

*****

Chapter 3 - Dependence

The author’s statement for chapter 3 is “It is not death that the very old tell me they fear. It is what happens short of death — losing their hearing, their memory, their best friends, their way of life.”

***

Guess what - 20-year-old-former-self-who-viewed-himself-as-invincible - You are now 73 and NOT invincible!!!  And, while I am healthy at 73 - what will I be like at 83 or 93?  Should I order my walker now?  When do I get the knee replacement or hip replacement?  

Will I be dependent on strangers to make sure I’m up and fed - or will my family be around to help out?  

*****

Chapter 4 - Assistance

Quote “ our elderly are left with a controlled and supervised institutional existence, a medically designed answer to unfixable problems, a life designed to be safe but empty of anything they care about.” 

***

In my family, my sister and brother-in-law LOVED and CARED our parents (and his parents too).  Can we let our seniors have dignity?  Can they have value and something to live for?

Who is going to drive me to the grocery store and to medical appointments?  Yes, communities do have volunteers (like the Faith in Action group in Georgetown Texas) that drive seniors. Through that program (as a volunteer), I have gained two great friends!!!  (Thank you RP, MN - and PB!!!)

*****

Chapter 5 - A Better Life

From the book: “He made it his mission to fight the “Three Plagues of nursing home existence: boredom, loneliness, and helplessness.” By using pets, young visitors, and plant life Thomas created a space that made the elderly not only happier but “the number of prescriptions required per resident fell to half that” of a nearby nursing home. Deaths at Chase Memorial also fell by 15 percent.”

***

The author tells of a nursing home with dogs, cats, and 100 BIRDS.  Some twenty plus years ago I visited a nursing home with a huge birdcage with hundreds of small birds (no eagles, hawks, or vultures here!!) - chirping happily, a couple of dogs roaming the halls (and loving to be petted.  How might I (or you) work to banish boredom, loneliness, and helplessness?

Tomorrow I will highlight the last three chapters from the book “Being Mortal”.  

Let’s take the analogy.  I have several former students who have little ones.  One family has Ferris - and Ferris is really loved by his parents, (grandparents and others).  Ferris will grow up in this loving environment.  But will Ferris’ grandparents have the same love as they age?  

LOVE DOES WIN!!!  Let’s work towards loving our babies - AND - loving our seniors!!!

HUGS!!

Karen